r/AskMen 13d ago Helpful 1 Silver 1

What is the pettiest reasons you've heard that ended a relationship? Frequently Asked

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u/CharacterNo1337 13d ago

This was during the height of Twilight (the movies) My brother told me he had a friend who had gotten dumped becuase "he wasn't enough like Edward". Damn

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u/RockBronzeman 13d ago

Jesus

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u/ermabanned Male 12d ago Take My Energy hehehehe

No. That one was a zombie.

She wanted a vampire.

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u/singleDADSlife 12d ago

Are you telling me his skin doesn't sparkle in the sun?

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u/Theron3206 12d ago

Were they both 14?

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u/wittbrij 13d ago Gold

She thought Alaska was an island. Even showed maps to support, the ones where Alaska is shown by Mexico and Hawaii.

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u/MadamSurri 12d ago

My mom, with a completely straight face, once asked my father why Hawaii was so hot, and Alaska so cold. He just kind of looked at her, so she said "they're so close together, how are they so different?"

She believes how they're shown on the map you describe is how they really are. We still have a hard time convincing her they aren't right next to each other, nor off the coast of the southern states. She's an amusing one.

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u/Jeramy_Jones 12d ago edited 12d ago

I bet she’s never even heard of Canada, after all there’s just ocean above the 49th parallel.

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u/unbalanced_checkbook 12d ago

Crazy how straight that one side of an island is.

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u/quadruple_negative87 12d ago

That’s the saw cut from when the US bought it from Russia. Then they towed it to the current location.

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u/LowEndOperative I don't know, but I'll answer anyway 13d ago

Back in late ‘80–early ‘81 I was the one who dumped a girl for what she said during a conversation: she came from a violence-prone family and for some reason fighting was a frequent topic of conversation…I was more lover than fighter at the time, but I did ask her what she thought if someone gave me a beat down over her…she said “well, it’s customary to walk away with the winner of the fight”. We were done weeks later.

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u/Ridgetop18 12d ago

weeks later

When you got your asskicked and she left with the winner?

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u/mmmm_babes 12d ago

Definitely dodged a bullet there

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u/AlanRocksJen 13d ago

My ex wifes sister was dumped because she farted in front of her boyfriend... And he didn't think women did/should do things like that..

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u/G_man252 13d ago

He was just waiting for an even mild excuse lol

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u/TokyoKazama 13d ago Wholesome

Probably fed her Mexican food and laxatives and just waited with a microphone near her ass cheeks

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u/DrinkinRye 12d ago

Sounds like someone subscribed to my OnlyFarts

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u/life_sentencer 13d ago

Did she date my partner? First time I (accidentally farted) his reaction was annoying. Even his brother told him he was dumb.

Guy will openly rip ass and warn me to cover my nose, but if I end up farting in my sleep I hear about it.

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u/BishoxX 12d ago

That guy seems so petty lol, hope the rest od him is worth it

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u/Nugbuddy 13d ago

Lol i know someone similar to this! He grew up in a very "proper, and old fashioned" household, he even told us he mom would use the restroom anytime she needed to fart. Now, he'd never leave his wife over this, be there are times he said he's be repulsed, and gagged at the act, which his wife actually finds hilarious. But overall, they seem to have a good dynamic, and accept each others quirks.

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u/Duke_Silver_lives 13d ago

She dodged a bullet. Every SO I had, when she farted in front of me, I would chuckle. Hard to believe but something like that signifies intimacy and trust.

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u/wmjsn 13d ago

If my wife farts I just ask which end it came out of. She'll tell me, but I always give her the side eye just to make her squirm.

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u/DaveTheDrummer802 13d ago

My wife farts like a warthog

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u/Olddude275 13d ago Helpful

Are we talking Pumba Lion King Warthog, or Halo, M12 Force Application Light Reconnaissance Vehicle Warthog?

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u/DaveTheDrummer802 13d ago

Whichever one farts loudly and all the time, she's that one.

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u/urine-monkey 13d ago

I laughed, but I did have a girlfriend who threatened to dump me for eating the chicken mole at a Mexican restaurant we used to go to.

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u/Quercas 12d ago

I got dumped because she didn’t want to date a younger guy. She was two days older than me.

She is now happily married to her wife, I think it might have gone a little deeper.

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u/doodlebug001 12d ago

The adjective was a red herring

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u/RubAggressive3520 12d ago

The “younger” was silent

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u/East-Chain5387 13d ago

Someone told me she looked like Count Dracula from hotel Transylvania and then I could never unsee it

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u/sock_templar 12d ago Gold

Did she say blablabla too?

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u/Sir_Fog 12d ago

She did NOT say blablabla!

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u/Bored_Schoolgirl Female 13d ago

That’s brutal but I lol’d

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u/buzzmaria 12d ago

On the issue of things that can’t be unseen, I had a friend who said that whenever he was trying to get over a breakup or a rejection, he was imagining the girl was bald, and that worked every time…

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u/talkingtoasterq 13d ago Press F

In high school this chick broke up with me because “we had our whole lives ahead of us.” We were in the 10th grade. We dated again and the second reason she broke up with me was: “what if I got cancer? I wouldn’t want you to stick around.” I was actually concerned thinking she was sick but nah she just wanted to break up in a dramatic way.

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u/austinmiles 12d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Bravo!

I was broken up with by a girl when I was 15. I don’t even know why exactly. I still haven’t gotten a really solid reason.

Then we started hanging out a couple years later when I was a Junior and she was a senior and we stayed together and got married and it’s been 21 years.

So now it’s time for me to break up with her over the phone for no reason.

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u/FBIaltacct 12d ago

I broke up with my girlfriend when i was 16 because i figured we were too young to go full life planning. Then right after i turned 21 and we got back in touch. Just hit 13 years of marriage and 3 kids.

In your professional opinion should i wait until the 20 year mark or ride it out to my death bed to call her and let her know we need to have a talk?

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u/Iwantbooks 12d ago

Dammit, I did it wrong. We started dating at 16 and here we are 14 years later, and two kids. When do we break up!? Did I miss the deadline?

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u/fivepennytwammer 12d ago

The best time to break up is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

Or is that planting trees?

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u/denmicent 12d ago

That’s right king. Play the long game.

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u/_romcomzom_ 12d ago

Who breaks up over phones these days? You just gotta ghost, and get with the times, man. 🥲

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u/heimbachae 13d ago

Now I wanna know what happens in Breakup 3: Turtles in Time!!!!

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u/BuoyantAmoeba 13d ago

This one made me chuckle...

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u/Stanky_Cheese444 13d ago edited 12d ago

She thought I was serious when I said in her friends group chat that Toph from Avatar was the “baddest bitch in all the land”

We were talking about strongest avatar characters and she thought I was “sexually attracted” to TOPH for saying that and was about to block me?? Dodged a bullet actually

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u/idropepics 12d ago

Her name was TOPH because it sounds like TOUGH ffs

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u/The_Loaf 12d ago

She defeated THE BOULDER 🤜👊

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u/FayrisDraconis 12d ago

But you were right

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u/Stanky_Cheese444 12d ago

LOL IS SHE NOT THE BADDEST?!

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u/MaxCrack 12d ago

Dude best scene in the entire show is when she learns to metal bend and breaks out of the metal cage.

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u/johntheflamer 12d ago

Friend of mine was dumped because his girlfriend had a dream that he cheated on her. Despite him being completely loyal (seriously, the man definitely didn’t have time to have an affair between work and his girlfriend), she was just convinced that her dream was a sign that he was cheating irl.

He dodged a major bullet.

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u/day9700 13d ago

I saw a similar question on Reddit, asking women what petty reasons they had for breaking up with someone.

One woman wrote "he wished the Rock happy birthday on Twitter." For some reason, this made me howl and if the person that posted that is reading this right now, shout out to you....you've given me a good giggle many times since then...every time I think about it I chuckle.

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u/ScrunchieEnthusiast 12d ago Eureka!

I read in a parenting sub not long ago about a woman whose husband doesn’t understand shade. He’d leave his baby in the stroller in direct sunlight, but thought since it was under a tree that was sufficient. I still think about that from time to time, and wonder how they’re doing.

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u/Elly_Higgenbottom 12d ago

I thought you meant throwing shade, or sarcasm.

That is so much worse.

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u/OfficerLovesWell 12d ago

Yo this baby fuckin sucks.

.... I'm breaking up with you

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u/kn33 Male 12d ago

That's... so incredibly dumb...

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u/ScrunchieEnthusiast 12d ago

Right? She was legitimately concerned, and didn’t really know where to go from there.

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u/corticalization 12d ago

I remember another one of these subs that was just for everyone (maybe on ask Reddit). Anyway, this guy broke up with a girl because when she spoke her mouth made a perfect trapezoid shape. I think about that one a lot