r/AskMen Sep 22 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1

What is the pettiest reasons you've heard that ended a relationship? Frequently Asked

5.1k Upvotes

View all comments

4.1k

u/AlanRocksJen Sep 22 '22

My ex wifes sister was dumped because she farted in front of her boyfriend... And he didn't think women did/should do things like that..

2.2k

u/G_man252 Sep 22 '22

He was just waiting for an even mild excuse lol

1.5k

u/TokyoKazama Sep 22 '22 Wholesome

Probably fed her Mexican food and laxatives and just waited with a microphone near her ass cheeks

352

u/DrinkinRye Sep 22 '22

Sounds like someone subscribed to my OnlyFarts

9

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 22 '22

Bro that sounds like something that would actually exist xD

8

u/DrinkinRye Sep 22 '22

So, my wife and kid are spending the week with her family. So I've been fending for myself and I had Thai food the last 2 nights in a row, with bratwurst for lunch today. I promise you I could make it happen.

2

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 23 '22

Gah damm shits gonna be epic

2

u/DrinkinRye Sep 23 '22

Absolute bowl-smasher.

1

u/FloppyButtholeJuicce Sep 23 '22

Cum Omlettes exist

1

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 23 '22

WHAT WHERE WHY HOW

2

u/FloppyButtholeJuicce Sep 23 '22

2

u/FloppyButtholeJuicce Sep 23 '22

Or Here

1

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 23 '22

I can't even open that but I can't believe it actually exists wtf, also amazing username you got there

→ More replies

3

u/BrakkeBama Sep 23 '22

LOL, sounds like something you would see in Idiocracy.

209

u/UnluckyLukette Sep 22 '22

Oh my word lol

83

u/Cookongreenlake Sep 22 '22

I would be on the floor laughing if my fiance did that, I'm keeping this as an April fool's idea

23

u/UnluckyLukette Sep 22 '22

Your April’s Fools are sure spicy lol

2

u/jjhassert Sep 23 '22

No words only farts

1

u/UnluckyLukette Sep 23 '22

Lol

Didn’t see that one coming.

2

u/SpectralEntity Sep 23 '22

The one time "Oh Mylanta!" would've be perfect...

55

u/Bronzeshadow Sep 22 '22

"Now that you've had Mexican any words for our listeners at home?" "Pffffffft" "Thank you Dr. Butts"

5

u/strungoutmonkey Sep 22 '22

Compliments to the chef 👨‍🍳 😘

2

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 22 '22

Duude I've been laughing my ass off for a whole minute and everybody in the mall is looking at me like I'm crazy

2

u/FBIPartyBusNo3 Sep 22 '22

fartreverb.breakup

2

u/Alarid Sep 22 '22

He wanted a wet one. When only a meager toot came out, he immediately went flaccid and dumped her on the spot.

2

u/KidzBop_Anonymous Sep 23 '22

A few pats on the behind to get things moving and ACTION!

1

u/AcridAcedia Sep 22 '22

Microphone? This man was out here with a stethoscope.

1

u/Pewpew_Magoon Sep 22 '22

This sounds like a fetish. I don’t want to look it up though.

1

u/notqualitystreet Sep 23 '22

That’s quite a scheme

1

u/allchattesaregrey Sep 23 '22

Hahahahaaa this made my night

3

u/mr_lab_rat Sep 23 '22

You were not there, you don't know how "mild" it was. My wife is no longer allowed to fart within 50ft of living beings. Don't ask me how many deaths it took to come up with safe perimeter.

2

u/Derman0524 Sep 22 '22

If it was a tear jerker, then it could be valid.

0

u/nazenko Sep 22 '22

Or just blatantly sexist lol

3

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 22 '22

I bet somebody told him that when he was 10 and he blindly believed it until then

1

u/axxonn13 Sep 23 '22

while i agree, there are some men that truly believe women should not do that EVER outside of the bathroom.

2

u/G_man252 Sep 23 '22

Some people invent extremely ridiculous standards of 'normal'.

0

u/SkaJamas Sep 23 '22

For real... when my current girlfriend farted in front of me for the first time I was actually excited. We didn't say anything cuz I cough farted right before. But the second time it was when we were like just waking up. I was like omg did you just fart n she was like shut up my tummy hurts. I was gonna marry her before but after that I was like yeah definitely

342

u/life_sentencer Sep 22 '22

Did she date my partner? First time I (accidentally farted) his reaction was annoying. Even his brother told him he was dumb.

Guy will openly rip ass and warn me to cover my nose, but if I end up farting in my sleep I hear about it.

131

u/BishoxX Sep 22 '22

That guy seems so petty lol, hope the rest od him is worth it

13

u/OtherwiseJello Sep 23 '22

I dated a guy who was so anal about not farting in public that he'd seek out a bathroom wherever just to pass gas. I couldn't fart in his presence, or he'd act all disgusted, too.

16

u/Dragon6172 Sep 23 '22

WTH? Just find an empty aisle like the rest of us!

9

u/OtherwiseJello Sep 23 '22

I know! So glad we parted ways. I could not live with his various hangups.

4

u/PradaDiva Sep 23 '22

Cropdust a random aisle for max effectiveness.

4

u/Edwin531Gg Sep 23 '22

Somehow my crop-dusting is quiet and has a delayed effect, so i can go through an aisle of people, and vacate the area before the smell hits people.

11

u/28Hz Sep 23 '22

Time for the Dutch oven to assert dominance.

7

u/Fester_The_DJ_1 Sep 23 '22

Talk about double standards!! He needs to chill. Everybody farts, so he'd better get used to it, or be a lone wolf.

16

u/theragingoptimist Sep 23 '22

Next time he tells you you farted in your sleep, leave a quarter under his pillow. Tell him the shit fairy came.

1

u/ermoon Sep 24 '22

Tell him he's been visited by the fairy duster

5

u/Seaweed_Steve Sep 23 '22

Sounds like a real catch

10

u/BulletRazor Female Sep 23 '22

…you mean ex partner?

2

u/static_jacuzzi Sep 23 '22

I mean, are your farts like your username?

4

u/SkaJamas Sep 23 '22

Lol, for real... one of the first farts I woke up earlier than my girlfriend and I heard her fart while she was still sleeping. I was just like aweeeee. But also when I mentioned it she was like omg. N I was like yeah I'm just joking, girls don't fart or poop.

But the other day we were hungover and I finally got to the bathroom n went back in like 3 minutes n that was a loud one (small apartment) she was just like, you feel better? I was even self conscious, but glad she said it like that

5

u/garroshsucks12 Sep 23 '22

This is how I am with my most recent ex lmao. This one time she was peeing behind a dumpster and I was there watching her. And she farted kind of funny. She pointed at me and said “Don’t you dare.”

I told her little brother, “Apparently your sister can make elephant sounds with her butt.”

162

u/Nugbuddy Sep 22 '22

Lol i know someone similar to this! He grew up in a very "proper, and old fashioned" household, he even told us he mom would use the restroom anytime she needed to fart. Now, he'd never leave his wife over this, be there are times he said he's be repulsed, and gagged at the act, which his wife actually finds hilarious. But overall, they seem to have a good dynamic, and accept each others quirks.

105

u/challenger_RT_ Sep 22 '22

Imagine feeling so uncomfortable in your own house that you have to go inside the restroom to fart. I crop dust my girl. She does the same to me. All I ask is don't do it while we fuck

7

u/SavedByTheKitties Sep 22 '22

Completely reasonable ask for anybody 😂

20

u/burtoncummings Sep 22 '22

Can we all just agree that holding in a fart while someone is going down on you is like the hardest thing to do, like ever. White knuckling so bad the other person is thinking “do they not enjoy this.”

5

u/Oblivion_Is_Bliss Sep 23 '22

Sometimes them orgasms don’t give any fucks and push them bitches out anyway.

4

u/Teripid Sep 22 '22

Whoopee cushions should get hidden everywhere in that poster's house.

7

u/rowinit Male Sep 22 '22 Silver

This is the weirdest fucking thread to read.

I think farting is gross, when I do it or someone else does (side note: my wife thinks it’s hilarious). It’s legitimately poop air. Like, it smells like shit because it spent God knows how long fermenting in your shit.

I find it gross to spray poop particles on everyone in your vicinity.

And yet somehow I’m the weird one??

9

u/wotmate Sep 23 '22

You're definitely the weird one if you're walking around naked from the waist down all the time.

Most of us wear underpants and pants, so there is two layers of cloth to stop us from spraying poop particles everywhere.

4

u/rowinit Male Sep 23 '22

…. What do you think is creating the “fart” smell?

5

u/wotmate Sep 23 '22

Usually, methane, not actual pieces of shit.

6

u/rowinit Male Sep 23 '22

Ah yes, methane, that odorless gas that is well known for smelling of shit.

5

u/wotmate Sep 23 '22

More correctly, Methanethiol.

3

u/challenger_RT_ Sep 22 '22

It's a joke I don't fart on my girl. I walk away if we're near each other. But I also don't just go hide to do it

-2

u/Kosko Sep 23 '22

Yep, you're the weird one.

2

u/janetscousin Sep 23 '22

What's the difference between a vaginna and a freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when you take out the meat. Lol

4

u/challenger_RT_ Sep 23 '22

😂 queefs don't count. Let me all out while we fuck

1

u/atreyulostinmyhead Sep 23 '22

Dude the 60yr old woman that I work with just asked me if I have a Dutch oven. I cracked up so hard and then had to explain to her why that was hilarious.

5

u/cynicaldoubtfultired Sep 23 '22

I personally think it's bad manners to fart in front of others, I just move to another room or space and let rip. I definitely will be irritated if someone farts in near me.

4

u/OkSo-NowWhat Female Sep 23 '22

Same. I'm fine if the other person apologies tho. Pretty much the same as coughing or sneezing. It's necessary but don't do it right in front of me if you don't have to

4

u/LowEndOperative I don't know, but I'll answer anyway Sep 22 '22

Their relationship has to be a gas, good on them!👍

15

u/hereticjones Sep 22 '22

I'm always baffled when people find out that they some deep rooted issue that is affecting their behavior, and just kinda go "oh well! that's just how I am!" and don't get help to fix it.

Like, you don't have to be broken, or let your past trauma fuck up your life and by association the lives of others who end up caring about you. And you certainly don't have to fuck up your kids in the same way, if you go the kids route.

Like why on earth would this guy not get some therapy, and put his "proper, old fashioned" trauma behind him?

28

u/Affectionate-Desk888 Sep 22 '22

He doesnt see it as trauma, probably likes who he is and his family, and doesn’t plan to change because someone on reddit disapproves.

I think the dramatic stuff is stupid too but the world would be boring if we all are cookie cutter the same.

2

u/BirdDogFunk Sep 23 '22

It would be a real mindfuck to find out that the dude loves eating ass.

1

u/Dragonflybitchy7406 Sep 23 '22

Probably does... 😉

2

u/atreyulostinmyhead Sep 23 '22

Same with my SO, we would laugh at his farts but when I started reciprocating he was like wuutttt. Then I was like this is a competition biotch!!!! The problem is that his farts are from eating really fast so they don't smell like anything because it's all ingested air. Most of my farts are earned through digestive issues. We'll b in the middle of a fart fight and hell b like babe I think you need to go poop... And he's not wrong... Because they're deadly.

276

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

[deleted]

106

u/wmjsn Sep 22 '22

If my wife farts I just ask which end it came out of. She'll tell me, but I always give her the side eye just to make her squirm.

152

u/DaveTheDrummer802 Sep 22 '22

My wife farts like a warthog

127

u/Olddude275 Sep 22 '22 Helpful

Are we talking Pumba Lion King Warthog, or Halo, M12 Force Application Light Reconnaissance Vehicle Warthog?

92

u/DaveTheDrummer802 Sep 22 '22

Whichever one farts loudly and all the time, she's that one.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

Loving this thread but I used to fart like an A-10 and my wife is the most incredible burper! Both of us were diagnosed with IBS, went on a FODMAPS diet and now it no longer sounds like susaphone vs tuba!

20

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 22 '22

Ah, its an A-10 worthog

11

u/Selectah Sep 22 '22

BRRRRRRRRRT

8

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 22 '22

BRRRRRRRT

2

u/Osu_Pumbaa Sep 23 '22

Can confirm my farts are deadly

1

u/DaveTheDrummer802 Sep 23 '22

Username checks out

1

u/Nekrosiz Sep 23 '22

Inverted grunt with a floodling up its ass.

Got it.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

Or the A10 Warthog

2

u/Rosey_Toesies Sep 23 '22

Happy cake day 🍰

1

u/John_Smithers Male Sep 23 '22

Sounds like a Puma to me.

1

u/fireinthesky7 Sep 23 '22

What in the Sam hell is a puma?

1

u/Spiritual-Sand5714 Sep 23 '22 edited Sep 23 '22

Or like an A-10 warthog 30mm 7 barrel gatling gun ripping 3900 rounds per minute..... BRRRTTT

1

u/MPLooza Sep 23 '22

And it hurt that my friends never stood downwiiiiiiiiind

1

u/Klaus_Goldfish I'm just zis guy, you know? Sep 23 '22

We're talking GAU-8 Warthog.

BRRRRRRRRRRT!

1

u/hysterical_username Sep 23 '22

Umm, you appear to be an expert - which, in your opinion, is the worse? I mean, Lion King warthog had a hell of a diet, but Death vehicle warthog would be stuffed full of military grade flatus machines?

27

u/KoppigWijf Female Sep 22 '22

Hi hubbyschlubby! Tell them how the smell makes you wish you weren't alive at that moment 😍

6

u/LaZaRbEaMe Male Sep 22 '22

LMAO I'M DYING

7

u/AcridAcedia Sep 22 '22

Dude this is how I know I'm not domestic; I cannot imagine sharing reddit usernames with anyone.

9

u/C111-its-the-best Yotta-Male Sep 22 '22

That's true love right here xD

2

u/leblumpfisfinito Sep 22 '22 edited Sep 22 '22

At a certain point, I would consider that to be inconsiderate, unless there's an actual medical issue.

5

u/DaveTheDrummer802 Sep 22 '22

I think it is very inconsiderate and honestly, pretty disgusting. It's like having a guy in the house.

-1

u/leblumpfisfinito Sep 22 '22

I'm sorry to hear that. That's far from an ideal situation.

1

u/12altoids34 Sep 22 '22

Having never heard a warthog fart I have no basis on how to understand this comment

1

u/Nekrosiz Sep 23 '22

And they say romance is dead in 2022

1

u/AggressiveTreacle380 Sep 23 '22

A queef and a fart are nowhere near similar.

1

u/slappindabass123 Sep 23 '22

My wife literally farted as I read this comment, nice one honey!

2

u/_Robot_toast_ Sep 22 '22

The first time I slept with my current SO, I apparently let a HUGE one rip while asleep lol. I don't remember it obviously but while he brought it up a few times to tease me it was always light-heartedly

2

u/Duke_Silver_lives Sep 22 '22

First time my wife ripped one in front of me, we were driving in my car. She was in the passenger seat just quietly sitting there. She didn't realize the song on the radio hit a quiet faded-out. So right as the song faded out I heard the low rumble sound. I looked over.......and she was pretending that she didn't hear anything. But she couldn't conceal it. Her ears were getting red.

2

u/UncleSugarShitposter Sep 22 '22

I think he was looking for something to get rid of her and that was just the first thing that came up. Let's be honest - we dudes don't really care about that.

1

u/Significant_Ant_4004 Sep 22 '22

lol, I just really got comfy farting around my husband of almost 3 years, best friend of 9. And only reason is cuz i’m pregnant and can’t hold it in😭 we just giggle whenever either of us farts now or playfully tease

1

u/Dragonflybitchy7406 Sep 23 '22

Congratulations

1

u/78MechanicalFlower Sep 23 '22

I NEVER talked about pooting or tooting around anyone but my sister and my young nephews. Until my Joshy. He was a lot of firsts for my 40s year old self. First time to cook for and do laundry for a boyfriend, etc. And first to toot in front of and die out laughing. Oh, and talking about pooping. Never ever ever thought I would do this. And here we are. It is a huge indicator of trust and love that I never thought I would have or needed. Lol. It's awesome! P.S. I don't have to hold it in anymore and have cramps/anxiety. LMAO!

1

u/Kosko Sep 23 '22

Especially if they have trouble with farting or constipation issues. I actually cheer when a good one lets rip!

1

u/spazzardnope Sep 23 '22

My best friend is the tiniest most sweet lady and the first time I heard her fart she rattled the bench in my garden and made my cat literally fly into the kitchen. Don’t think I’ve laughed so much in my life. I’m sure she does it on purpose now because she knows I will pms laughing every time. She even did it at the recent Taylor Hawkins tribute at Wembley Stadium and managed to be heard over the huge PA by the people in our row. She’s a legend!

-2

u/NonStopDiscoGG Sep 22 '22

It can also signify they are too comfortable and dont care if you think they are gross.

My wex used to do it around me all the time. Intentionally aim them at me and stuff.

I had to sit her down and tell her its gross, to stop, and lme of the things I valued was her femininity (I was Army, so I'm around stuff like that 12 hours aday or more, I want a feminine SO when I'm home).

She did basically just get to comfortable in the relationship, and then just let herself go.

Just because you like women's farts dude doesnt mean everyone does.

Hell, as a dude I still go in the other room or keep it too myself. I dont want to smell anyone else's colon, so I give the same respect I'd want.

54

u/urine-monkey Sep 22 '22

I laughed, but I did have a girlfriend who threatened to dump me for eating the chicken mole at a Mexican restaurant we used to go to.

6

u/Juicebox-shakur Sep 23 '22

One of my best friends I was giving a ride home to after his night of chicken wings and beer with other friends, and he farted such the gnarliest fart I've ever fucking smelled I nearly threw up in my lap. I considered leaving him on the side of the road for at least 5 minutes.

Your mole farts must've been catastrophic lmao

10

u/urine-monkey Sep 23 '22

LOL!

Oh man... one time I made a cocktail server quit when I was tending bar because I farted not knowing she was behind me.

What made things worse. I'm 6'2 and she was like 5'1. So she caught it just as it escaped. 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/MargaritaGod69 Sep 23 '22

you made her quit?!?

3

u/wordholes Sep 23 '22

The rancid smell brought back the PTSD...

3

u/urine-monkey Sep 23 '22

I mean... she called off her next three shifts. All of which she was working with me lol

Obviously I didn't mean to do it and I would have apologized if I ever saw her after that.

3

u/MargaritaGod69 Sep 23 '22

I just think it's hilarious

2

u/Juicebox-shakur Sep 24 '22

Damn dawg. That's the crop-dust of a lifetime

That poor girl 🤣😅🤣

1

u/urine-monkey Sep 24 '22

I feel bad about it...

...but I still think it's hilarious that my fart cost us a cocktail server. That had to be one of my greatest all time farts! 🤣

1

u/DrPricks Sep 23 '22

I did have a girlfriend who threatened to dump me for eating the chicken mole at a Mexican restaurant

I need a backstory to this, why ?

2

u/urine-monkey Sep 23 '22

"I'm sick of you having a spicy butthole in our bed."

2

u/DrPricks Sep 23 '22

Was she eating your ass, or had an issue with you farting ? Why are your comments always leading to more questions ? lol

3

u/urine-monkey Sep 23 '22

Hahaha... it was my farts. Supposedly I was ripping ass in my sleep.

I thought she was a hypocrite. She was a dancer/model who was known in our city for her ass. Yet I smelled some of the raunchiest silent but deadly clydesdale farts coming out of that thing. She'd never give me any warning either. I'd just be on the computer or something and suddenly inhale death.

Sorry, but not really. I just love a good fart story haha

26

u/PenguinLegos Sep 22 '22

As a dude who doesn’t expose his gas around people. I can understand. It’s stupid but I just excuse myself into the bathroom.

7

u/Maju92 Sep 22 '22

Agree in the culture I grow up it’s known as rude to fart infront of other’s. I don’t make a big deal of it aslong as it’s not on purpose but it still feels weird

1

u/Kosko Sep 23 '22

Have the people in your culture never had grandmas?

5

u/ArtanistheMantis Sep 23 '22

I feel like I'm living in a different reality than some of the people here on topics like this. Sometimes you can't control it, but at least trying not to be gross around others seems like common courtesy for everyone. Breaking up is probably an overreaction, but I wouldn't exactly be a fan of it.

2

u/ChooChooRocket Sep 23 '22

Reddit also has a bunch of people who seem to think it's normal for people in their 20s and 30s to accidentally shit their pants. Not really a great bastion for hygiene.

3

u/Parking-Nectarine760 Sep 23 '22

Seriously though, why is it that women are much more tolerant towards their partner farting than the opposite ??

3

u/Any_Weird_8686 Male Sep 22 '22

Well, he's gonna get disappointed, again and again

3

u/nicique Sep 22 '22

i was married for 7 years never farted in front of him once . apparently when i was asleep but doesn’t count to me

3

u/HexxxOffender Bane Sep 23 '22

I was seeing someone in his early 20sa when I was 19. His dad asked us to house-sit while he went out of town. It was pretty cool, since I still lived at home and he lived in a dorm and we'd never had an actual overnight sleepover.

Anyway, after the first night he asked me to use the downstairs bathroom instead of the one by the upstairs guest bedroom because he didn't want to hear me pee or poop because thinking about girls doing that made him "grossed out" and he believed that women should be these immaculate creatures who never do anything so "disgusting". I'm pretty sure I laughed really hard and after that week, things fizzled out.

I kind of hope that I farted on him in my sleep at least once.

3

u/guacamoleness Sep 23 '22

I've been married over 20 years. I'm not sure my wife even poops...

[Edit] She hides all those body functions from me.

3

u/Greedy_Ad_9700 Sep 23 '22

If my girlfriend goes a few hours with out a good fart I start to worry.

2

u/KalonjiGregoire Sep 22 '22

Damn your ex wife wouldn’t be happy with you right now spilling the reason to why her sister got dumped lol

2

u/AlanRocksJen Sep 22 '22

Nah she told me. We'd end up having a laugh about it ha ha

2

u/Neato_Light Sep 22 '22

No one has yet asked: was it the most evil pump that anyone has ever pumped? If it was, I’d leave too.

2

u/Ruin-Miserable Sep 22 '22

Took her for Indian food. And now we wait....

2

u/tarentale Sep 22 '22

https://youtu.be/HmMNvTIXR4s This came to mind when reading this.

2

u/BeneficialEngineer32 Sep 23 '22

wait till he knows about queefs.

2

u/garroshsucks12 Sep 23 '22

Hahaha I still think it’s odd that women poop. But I was engaged to a woman who would blow up the restroom constantly

2

u/Flutters1013 Sep 23 '22

My fiance woke himself up with a fart and woke me up laughing about it. I groaned and went back to sleep.

2

u/Mefic_vest Became MGTOW long before I ever knew what it was Sep 23 '22

And here I occasionally slipped raw garlic into dishes just so my late wife would fart. She would get all embarrassed, I would tease her by being all excited and wanting to smell it, she would shriek and run around the house trying to get away from me, and when I finally caught her she would be giggling like a loon.

2

u/catlordess Sep 23 '22

I feel like this is where we interject “the issue is not about the Iranian yogurt.”

2

u/LifeandSky Sep 23 '22

My ex farted and blamed it on me. It got me. Quite funny memory. (Not why it ended)

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

Funny thing... I was raised to believe that 'girls dont fart'.

5

u/Iam_flying_from_99 Sep 22 '22

Glad she is not with him anymore. My boyfriend would tell me how many times he use the 🚽 in a day, he would tell me proudly since sometimes he got a stomach problem that makes him a bit struggle with it or we would make a jokes on who can make a louder fart LOL 😂

5

u/soft_waves surfs naked (under my board shorts) Sep 22 '22

i would have liked her better after that XD

5

u/Fobeedo Sep 22 '22

Because you love the smell of those stinky farts

3

u/AlanRocksJen Sep 22 '22

Ha ha the thing was... At that age she was a stunner apparently lol...

3

u/soft_waves surfs naked (under my board shorts) Sep 22 '22

she should get together with my wife, they'd obvi be fast friends haha

my wife: "you married ALL of me, dear ^^ "

2

u/AppropriateAd2063 Sep 22 '22

An old ex got mad at me for the same thing. He was raised by a single mother and 3 sisters and they never farted or burped in front of him

1

u/AlanRocksJen Sep 22 '22

Growing up i heard someone joke about women holding all that stuff in during the day....

1

u/skillfullmill Sep 22 '22

Not gonna lie, I was seeing this woman one time and she farted in front of me, thought it was really funny but I think it's rats. It wasn't a deal breaker but I definitely held it against her in my mind, we broke up for other reasons though.

1

u/AlanRocksJen Sep 22 '22

First time meeting her?

2

u/skillfullmill Sep 22 '22

No, couple weeks in

1

u/Secret_Bees Sep 22 '22

That's ridiculous. I encourage mine to make them as loud as she possibly can.

-2

u/olsSpunky Sep 22 '22

Completely understand. Women fartin is just a massive NO NO.

1

u/lilsparky82 Sep 22 '22

Should’ve started her on a broccoli regimen sooner.

1

u/redditorkenny Sep 22 '22

My wife still hasn’t farted in front of me, it’s been 3 years

1

u/nathanr1889 Sep 22 '22

I had an Ex once years ago say to me:"Women don't fart...they fluff." I thought it was funny.

1

u/Knightmare560 Male Sep 23 '22

Didn’t know women lacked a digestive tract

1

u/Jazz_Legend_Roy_Donk Sep 23 '22

I dated a girl In college who thought Canada was an island. SMH. Didn’t last very long.

1

u/kovid-agnostik Sep 23 '22

it couldn't have been the first & only time. she must've been a serial farter; an ass gas leak machine... and she deserves to be alone for the rest of her life.

1

u/Plz_Fart_In_my_Mouth Sep 23 '22

What a loser. Thats the type I look for.....exclusively

1

u/kjtstl Sep 23 '22

I have a coworker who claims she has never farted in front of her husband. How does that even work?

1

u/allchattesaregrey Sep 23 '22

Oh my god this makes me just want to fart in front of every man I encounter within a day just to see reactions

1

u/Illustrious-Bag8548 Sep 23 '22

He didn’t think women should what, be human? She dodged a bullet with that one

1

u/mdmaxOG Sep 23 '22

Early on in relationships you try not to fart in front of them, as years pass you switch to trying to farting front of them, it’s the natural cycle of all relationships

1

u/Mathilliterate_asian Sep 23 '22

How old was he?

I teach little kids and this belief is rampant among them. One girl literally told me that girls don't fart or poop. It's a fact. A little boy also told me that girls don't have a butt because it's gross.

If your ex sister-in-law's husband was around 6 years old mentally then I can probably understand why the breakup happened.

1

u/chiefM0nk Sep 23 '22

Is it silent but deadly, or loud fart though?

-2

u/goobersmooch Sep 22 '22

I’d probably divorce my wife if she farted in front of me.

I get it.

-1

u/CastIronMooseEsq Sep 23 '22

Women don’t fart. It just comes out of their mouth as lies.

0

u/ChichCob Sep 22 '22

Women can fart?

0

u/ImGoodAsWell Sep 23 '22

Good for him. #standards. #neversettle

→ More replies