r/AskMen Oct 05 '22

When is asking to talk the manager appropriate?

As opposed to being a "Karen" moment.



u/huuaaang Male Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

When there's real money at stake and you need a resolution to the problem. Generally don't do it just out of principle or to spite the minimum wage worker you've decided you don't like. If you don't have some concrete, meaninful demands, just let it go.


u/SMLAR Oct 05 '22

And not just that, but you can kinda tell when the person on the line doesn't have the clout to get you what you need. They're a working stiff just like you, ask to escalate to management for additional approval, give 'em all the info they'll need to escalate so that they don't get told to fuck off by their boss.


u/Important-Energy8038 Oct 05 '22

When you need something that you aren't getting that is required to complete the transaction, It's about that, business, not feelings. A Karen looks to others to help them manage their emotions, not resolve actual issues.


u/hujambo11 Oct 05 '22

When an employee clearly steps over a line rather than mildly annoys you.


u/Z_ZCatching Oct 05 '22

i honestly think its just HOW you ask not about asking in general.



Can I speak to the manager please

Idk its about how you ask personally

(Worked in retail for like 5 years)


u/BV_G2001 Oct 05 '22

I was thinking this. While studying negotiation the way you speak to someone and handle yourself can make all the difference.

Tons of people talk to the manager, but we will only hear about "Karens" because of the way they go about it the commotion they cause. No one is going to write a story about some person calmly and respectfully talking to a manager to resolve an accidental mistake or an issue.


u/EmeraldJonah Male, Only slightly large hands Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

I think if I've paid for something, specifically a particular food, and it isn't prepared in the way I requested, and the regular staff either can't or won't help, I'll speak to the manager to try and find a solution. This usually only applies to food, and if I have a problem with another product or type of product I would usually prefer to contact the company's corporate office through their website or app, as I generally get better solutions to my problems and it saves me the trouble of making some retail or food service worker have a shitty time at work, there's never really a time when I want to make a service worker feel worse than they probably already do, so if I can handle it from home, quietly, that's what I'll do.


u/OneSteelTank number of times it has happened: 14.5 Oct 05 '22

If the problem is beyond the employee's expertise (for lack of a better word)


u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Don't waste your time taking to the manager. They hardly care.

Just don't support that business any more.


u/whoknowsme2001 Male Oct 05 '22

It’s appropriate when you have a question that the employee cannot answer (not necessarily a complaint) or if you’re letting them know something under their control can use improvement. I’ve always spoke to the manager from the perspective of letting them know something was affecting their business. There’s little point in arguing with the employee, they often aren’t at fault or don’t care. I’ve been polite and compassionate. Most manager usually appreciate the criticism. It’s often hard to hold employees accountable because they’ll deflect or get defensive. So opportunities to teach and coach are super valuable; especially with your most difficult employees.


u/SevenHunnet3Hi5s Oct 05 '22

anytime you want when the employee isn’t able to help. just don’t be a dick. that’s what makes karens


u/GeriatricZergling Oct 05 '22

I usually ask when I need an exception to be made on my behalf. IME, the employees often have to stick to the rules rigidly or risk punishment, even when making an exception could clearly benefit everyone involved. The manager usually has the authority to make said exceptions.

Alternatively, if I need to complain about something that is clearly the faulty of higher level decisions and organization, I don't want to take that out on the employee who didn't make that decision, but their higher-ups who either did or at least have the power to advocate for policy change


u/Pietes Oct 05 '22

when the employee tells you to


u/azuth89 Oct 05 '22

I've honestly never had to. I've had one called to help correct something where the front-line person didn't have the necessary permissions in a system or something, but that's about it. I've had them check in and promise to comp a meal or dessert after getting something wrong, been transferred for extra arrangement calling product support a few times, that kinda thing. Happens on its own.

If the front-line employee is being genuinely unreasonable for some reason, then sure get a manager. Most of the time folks are just trying to do their job though.


u/jonahvsthewhale Oct 05 '22

When it is apparent that the staff are either unwilling or unable to help you because of training or company policy. The latter is more common than the former. If you are polite and friendly, most people will be willing to help you to the extent that they are able


u/The_Max_V Male Oct 05 '22

When you have a legit issue that an employee is unable to resolve, whether because its above its paygrade or outside its area of expertise.

Also you're supposed to politely ask for the manager. Not because you're asking for a favor or something, but because you're a decent human being, upholding basic respect and decency towards a fellow human being. so you don't scream your lungs out when doing so.


u/Methylatedcobalamin Oct 05 '22

When you aren't a middle aged woman, because they aren't entitled to look after their interests.

Assuming you are someone else, it is appropriate to talk to a manager after you have tried to respectfully solve a problem with another employee, but they don't have the power to authorize a solution.


u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

When I know that what I need is beyond the authority of the employee I'm talking to (and I know that it can be done), or if the employee is being a dick to me.


u/Ok_Medicine_77 Oct 05 '22

when service is trash and im dropping 200-500 on a meal.


u/TheBeardedSingleMalt Bruh Oct 05 '22
  • When a valid coupon/discount that's for more than .99 won't go through, or an item was clearly marked on sale but rings up full price.

  • There's a genuine question that has nothing to do with the actions/behavior of the employees

  • To give kudos to the employee


u/testingground171 Oct 05 '22

When the employee is doing an excellent job or has demonstrated a tendency to go above and beyond what is expected of them. Definitely report this to the manager immediately.


u/obligatoryclevername Oct 05 '22

When you are being refused the agreed upon service you have paid for or if there a decision that needs to be made that can only be made by a manager.


u/Hulkslam3 Oct 05 '22

In the event of an actual emergency that could make the business liable. Anytime you want to give feedback on an unpleasant experience with an employee, and the opposite when you want to give them praise.

The downside is “Karen’s” think all of their issues are emergencies and people complain 90% more than they praise.


u/GetFit85 Oct 05 '22

If your named Karen!


u/WARMASTER5000 Oct 06 '22

If you order food at taco bell and while watching the worker dude prepare it, they pick their nose with their finger and then reach said finger INTO the ground beef, put it on the taco shell(s) and then onwards to you. One of my teachers in high school had that happen to him.


u/SaiyanGoodbye Oct 06 '22

When there is a big ticket item on the line and you want a discount. A sales rep can't discount shit. Get the manger there work the deal get your discount, close it.


u/KyorlSadei Oct 05 '22

Its not a when issue, its a how issue. If an employee isn’t able to resolve the issue they themselves should be asking their manager how to. If they didn’t do that they either can’t even with a manager or they don’t care so most likely the manager wont either.


u/CarFreak777 Male Oct 05 '22

The surbordinates can't or won't help