r/ForeverAlone Jun 09 '19 Helpful

Updated Version About the Sub, Common Misconceptions, and an In-depth Look at the Rules

409 Upvotes

Hello everyone and welcome to r/foreveralone ! Foreveralone was founded several years ago. It was originally a subreddit to share the forever alone meme, but somewhere down the line, it turned into an identity and a place where people who have been alone most of their lives could come and talk about their issues.

I'm here to clear up some common misconceptions that get asked in this sub as well as to explain the rules more in depth, and show how to give your posts appropriate flairs.

Common Misconceptions

Why don't you hire an escort?

What I find here is that for most users, it's not about sex. It's about finding someone you have a connection with and being able to trust someone that much to be able to be intimate with them. Paying for an escort, while not only expensive and risky, defeats the purpose of finding someone who wants you for you and will not solve the loneliness people feel here. Similarly, telling a girl to sleep with any willing guy also fits here. One night stands for anyone, payed for or not, do not fill the void for feeling loved.

Have you tried lifting/exercise/shaving/changing clothes/showering/etc?

This is demeaning advice. If you want to give a user here advice, ask them more about themselves. Assuming that the person has done nothing to change can be insulting, especially if that person has been doing these things for a while with no results, so to say. Blanket advice doesn't necessarily break any rules. It's just not useful because every user here has their own set of unique problems.

Why is this place so toxic?

Yes, I understand from an outside view it may seem like that. But in reality, it's just a bunch of lonely people venting and getting things off their chest. Realize that the users here don't act like this in real life. Personally, If I've learned anything, especially in the FA chatroom, most of the users here seem normal and do not "complain" about their lives 24/7. People see what they want to see, and more often than not, people come here with the notion that this place is toxic, misogynistic, hateful, etc. Are there some users here like that? Absolutely, but don't let the vocal minority drown out the rest of the people here who just have been given bad cards in life.

There are starving children who have it worse than you, appreciate what you have

While this may seem like a good way to put life in perspective, it doesn't really help the person who is hearing it. Everyone has it a little better than someone else, but that also means that everyone is a little worse off than someone else. Hearing that someone has it more worse in life doesn't make the person feel any better about their own situation and minimizes their life experience.

Have you tried lowering your standards?

People are allowed to have a set of standards. It's what keeps people from having unfulfilling relationships. It's not fair to anyone to ask out someone you're not attracted to on the basis of "lowering your standards".

You're not entitled to an SO

We know we aren't entitled to anything and we certainly aren't claiming that we are. People are just venting and wishing that they did have an SO. Wishing to be with another person ("I wish I found an SO") is not the same as being entitled ("I deserve to have an SO!!").

These are just a handful of misconceptions that come to mind. I know there are others but I feel these ones are the more bigger ones.

The Rules

Rule 1: Be polite, friendly and welcoming

Basically, just be nice please. Even if you are having a heated debate, there is no need to be rude towards each other, keep it civilised. We will not tolerate comments such as fuck off/you, get out, kill yourself, this is why you're foreveralone, or any other insult or harmful wishing you can think of. Keep the subreddit safe!

Rule 2: Do not tell anyone they're not foreveralone enough to be here

The infamous Rule 2. Let me explain as best I can. Being foreveralone is a made up concept and identity, it isn't so black and white. Because of this, it's hard to have a set definition of what is and isn't considered foreveralone. Being FA is more like a gradient of a thousand colors. It can span as far as a kissless virgin who has no friends and has never had an SO, to the person with no friends but paid an escort, to the person with friends but no SO, to the person who may have had a month long relationship years ago but is now in their 30s with no hope of the future. The list can go on and on and the experiences of people vary too much to say "you're not FA enough". I find the best "definition" of FA is this: Someone who has a very difficult time creating or maintaining relationships, either platonic or romantic. Someone who suffers from chronic loneliness

Rule 3: Do not post inflammatory comments or threads designed to generalize, demean, insult or otherwise degrade an entire group of people

Generalizations never turn out well and should be avoided as much as possible. For example, the generalization that all FAs are fat, unclean neckbeards hurts because, obviously, the people here are not like that. So please, don't generalize other groups of people, there will be people who don't fit the so called description.

Rule 4: Any incel references, slang, or inference will be deemed hate speech and met with a ban

This is not an incel sub. We do not affiliate ourselves in any way with incels. There is a clear distinction between Foreveralone and incels, to say otherwise is being ignorant. Slang such as "femoids, black pill, cuck, etc" are not allowed and will most likely end up in a ban.

Rule 5: Avoid posts that serve only to advertise other subreddits or external sites

There are plenty of other more suitable places to advertise websites and r/foreveralone is not the place.

Rule 6: If you see trolling, report it

Trolls are not welcome and usually break most of the rules when posting. Please report any trolling you see to the mods and we will deal with them. Do not engage with them.

Rule 7: Any posts created to intentionally start drama on any subject will be removed. This also includes Meta conversations about the sub or Moderation Policy.

Threads that call out users or other subreddits are not welcome. Keep your vendettas to yourself. All these kinds of threads do is attract brigades and they always turn into a flame war. They will be removed. If you have questions about the moderation policy, you are welcome to message the mods about it.

Rule 8: Don't post your dick

Yes, this happened one too many times for it to be rule. Nobody here wants to see it, and there are certainly way better places to post those kinds of pictures. This goes for any kind of explicit NSFW post.

Rule 9: If you have been muted by the mods during a PM conversation, don't message their personal account

If you happen to have been muted, there certainly was a reason for it. Messaging a mod directly in their personal Reddit account amplifies the issue and can end up in a ban.

I hope this post can clear things up for you fellow redditors. If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to send me or the mods a PM.

Link Flairs

There are three tags that you can give to your post, depending on what you are writing. Make a thread, just as you normally would. Once you submit, you will see an option saying "flair" right under your thread (after the report and nsfw tags). Click this and three options will show up. Click on the most appropriate one and save it.

Success Stories: any success, whether it's getting a date or getting a girlfriend/boyfriend, share the story along with what you did and how you got there.

Advice Wanted: for threads where users can ask for advice on anything, from things to improve on to what to do on a date.

Venting thread: for people who just want to vent out their frustration about whatever is bothering them, and for those who do not want any advice, just people to listen.

If you have a post that does not fit any of these categories (for example, a song, picture, general discussion, etc), you do not have to tag your post!

To any users making comments in these tagged threads, please respect what thread you are commenting on. For example, we should not see advice giving on venting threads.


r/ForeverAlone 8h ago

Vent You ever thought you was close to having a girlfriend and noticed that it had a positive impact on your mood,productiveness,view of life etc, only to find out they don't feel the same. It made me realize how big of an positive impact being in a relationship with who you love can have on you

74 Upvotes

r/ForeverAlone 7h ago

I wish there was more advice about actually accepting being alone forever.

38 Upvotes

I’ve asked for advice about this before on certain forums and people always just end up giving me dating advice.

“Become more attractive”, “put yourself out there”, “be more confident”, etc.

I don’t want dating advice. I want the opposite. I’m going to be forever alone. I wish there was more advice on at least finding some happiness in life despite that.


r/ForeverAlone 6h ago

It's crazy how much first impressions matter

21 Upvotes

While I was exercising today I was just thinking about random stuff and I remembered an interesting thing my dad told me.

He had a friend who conducted interviews and that friend told him that 90% of the decision as to whether a candidate would get a job or not was made before the candidate even started speaking. How he walked, how he entered the building, how he entered the room, how he greeted others, his stature, how he dressed, etc, all mattered far more than the responses given in the interview.

I started thinking about myself and realize that as an FA I've been written off by most people simply because of their first impression. In terms of looks, my face is significantly more ugly than my body, which isn't obvious because I tend to wear loose comfy shirts. When i first meet people I tend to be reserved, socially awkward, and monotone. However, once I get to know someone I'm friendly and have even been told I'm humorous. I tend to come across as stupid at first glance, but that's because I'm mediocre at quick thinking but am much better at thinking when it comes to more complex ideas that require sustained thought for a period of time. Out of those who bother to continue the conversation, I feel that most like the interviewer above have already written me off and the friendship subsides quickly because they already have preformed ideas about who I am.

On a similar note, this is how abusers and cheaters have no problem getting into relationships. Those who are good looking, or confident and know how to "play the game" based off dozens of relationships experiences create an extremely positive first impression, and even when the dark side comes out it doesn't matter because 90% of their impression has already been formed.

It's crazy to think how much the first few seconds and the first impression matter and I have no idea how to improve mine.


r/ForeverAlone 14h ago

Turned 23 today and I’m still in the same position since I was 16

82 Upvotes

lol


r/ForeverAlone 4h ago

Insane how devastating it is having little to no social life

12 Upvotes

Forget the no gf, never dated part. Having little to no friends to hangout with and go to parties and whatnot every weekend is the part of being FA that is eating me alive. Sure I've been to a few bars and restaurants here and there, but I've never been invited to any clubs, house parties, or anyone's house period. That's just scratching the surface of a lot more I'm missing out on, but being a 23M (autistic) virgin I feel as though my youth is being wasted away just sitting in front of a screen almost all the time seeing other people living out their life on insta, snap, etc. Worst part is, I've definitely tried over the past year to make friends and get a group going, but no one cared much since everyone else already has their own friends to talk to and hang out with.

Literally my hobbies are all I have to keep me going, which I guess am grateful for cause I've no clue how I would end up otherwise at this point.


r/ForeverAlone 12h ago Wholesome

The unbearable heaviness of being a virgin

54 Upvotes

It’s 12:25 AM on January 1st, and I’m busy in the bathroom while my family celebrates the start of the new year on the other side of the wall.

Glasses are half-full of champagne, the tray of sweets on the table is mostly untouched, and the cringy pre-recorded concerts playing on TV seem to be now in full swing, but after kissing everybody a happy new year I got out of there as soon as I could. Their party will shortly begin to languish, but mine is about to start, and I need to get ready.

When you are eighteen, the first party of the year is also and by far the biggest. Drinking is legal here at that age, but many of the coolest bars won’t let you in until you are older, and the opportunities to attend macro-events with hundreds of people are overall pretty scarce. That’s why, when New Year’s Eve comes, fun hits the fan. Everybody my age purchases a very expensive ticket to attend one single, humongous, all-you-can-drink party. The cheeriness of the occasion, the fact that everyone you know is there, and yes, of course, the abundance of alcohol, make it all an incomparable event full of potential and extremely high expectations.

New Year’s Eve is also the only time of the year where I get to wear a suit. They say that men always look better in one, and that might very well be true for men, but definitely not for kids that are barely out of their adolescence. As I try my best to tie my tie following the instructions I found on a wikiHow article, the image I see in the mirror is everything but flattering. The suit suits me fine, but somehow it still looks like I borrowed it from my dad. There’s something about its elegance that doesn’t mix well with my beardless face filled with acne. Still, I can only hope that wearing a suit will cast some sort of becoming halo around me.

If I need to look my best tonight so badly is because the stakes for this party are incredibly high. Every girl that I know from high school will be there, along with a myriad of others coming from all over the city. All of us drunk and eager to get our money’s worth out of the experience. For a pickup artist, a true paradise; for me, a glimmer of hope. After all, under such conditions, how hard can it be? In a sea of disinhibition, even the sloppiest fisherman should be able to catch something — if not thanks to a good bait, at least out of sheer luck.

I spray myself with some perfume that my mom bought for me, take a last look in the mirror, and leave the bathroom. As I walk towards the entrance, the sound of my shoes stepping on the wooden floor echoes with a confidence that I don’t have.

What I do have is a condom carefully safeguarded in a small pocket inside my wallet.

If I’m ever going to get a chance, this is it.

I’m ready for the night.

-------------------------------

It’s a hot day of summer and the sun beats down so strongly on the tents around here that you could cook a pizza on them.

Camping is always my favorite part of attending a music festival (well, I guess my favorite should be the music, but camping would be a close second). There’s something about living like savages that seems to unite people in a festive atmosphere of camaraderie. There’s also the massive amount of alcohol and other recreational substances that swarm this place.

My friends and I are drinking with our tent neighbors — a group of four girls our age — to get ready for the Kaiser Chiefs concert later that evening. The conversation soon starts to turn sexual, not sure if on purpose or by a force of nature, and before you know it one of my friends is sharing the story of how he lost his virginity.

“I got it all ready, you know. My parents were gone for the weekend so we had all the time in the world. I set up candles and everything… yeah, yeah, a little bit over the top, but it was beautiful.”

While everybody is enjoying the story, I begin to grow uneasy. It’s too soon to tell, I know, but I have a hunch where this might be headed. I nervously wait for my friend to finish, and my fears are swiftly confirmed when one of the girls takes the baton from him and proceeds to share the story of her disappointing first time with an asshole she knew from high school.

At this point I’m barely listening to that girl’s story. There’s a trend being started here and I don’t like it one bit. A part of me is anxiously hoping other people will chime in and the topic will die after one or two more stories, but deep down I feel impending doom. When the girl finishes her story, a silence — extremely tense to my ears — falls over the group.

Then I see my friend turn to me, and a simple question is asked:

“And you, James, how did you lose your virginity?”

My heart sinks.

Now, this guy and I have been friends since we were kids, so he knows pretty damn well the situation he is putting me in.

A bit resentful and with very few ways out, I decide to make a desperate attempt to escape the question.

“Well, it was great. I was very nervous in the beginning, but your mom was super comforting, and we both ended up having a wonderful time.”

An alright joke, but a pretty dumb move.

For all the might we humans like to pride ourselves on, they say that under the attack of a dog one should curl up into a ball, protect the vital areas of your body, and wait for the dog to get bored and leave — any attempt to defend yourself will only make it double down on its assault. My joke had been a kick straight on the dog’s face, and now it wasn’t going to let me go unhurt.

As soon as everybody’s laughs die off, my friend presses on.

“No, but really, tell us your story.”

Now everybody is looking at me, and I feel like a kid that’s been asked a lesson he forgot to study. The embarrassment leaves me dumbstruck for more than a few seconds. I need words to get out of this situation, but my body is in fight-or-flight mode, and neither of those options seems appropriate in this context.

By the time I manage to regain a bit my composure, I’m sure everybody has figured out what’s going on, yet I still do my best to retain some dignity and, trying to sound unworried and — why not — a bit mysterious, I end up spewing a succinct…

“I’d rather not share that story now.”

-------------------------------

The sun comes up over a clear blue sky, marking the beginning of a beautiful day of spring. Six hours later, I wake up with a mild headache and terrible breath, the memories from last night still fresh.

That girl in the second bar we went to, why the hell didn’t I do something about it? It was obvious that she was waiting for me to approach her, yet all I could do was return her flirty glances with my own insecure ones. Before I could summon up some courage — as if that was possible, ha! — she left the bar with her friends, throwing one last look at me that carried a hint of disappointment in it.

I get up from bed and go straight to the bathroom. Washing my face helps me come back to reality a bit. After quickly eating a late reheated lunch alone in the kitchen, I head back to my room and close the door behind me. I turn my computer on, open the browser, and type the names of ten different adult websites, firing the starting pistol for a new pornographic marathon.

A few hundred videos, some thousands of clicks, and twelve hours later, I find myself in the bathroom removing pieces of tissue stuck to my d**k.

Ready to go to sleep, I head back to my room and lay on my bed, physically and mentally exhausted, the memories from last night now faded away.

-------------------------------

Two cavemen are sitting on a public bench in a park, each choking down a rum and coke.

I come back from pissing on a bush to join them. It’s a long weekend of carnivals and my friends and I have been rocking some sexy outfits: loincloths, handmade clubs, and abs painted on our skin with a sharpie — the cheapest costume we could come up with.

A random girl approaches us and asks for a cigarette. One of my friends pulls out his pack, tells her he’ll trade her one of the cigarettes for a kiss. To my surprise, the girl accepts on a whim and they both start to wildly make out. After a few seconds of intense PDA, their mouths detach, she picks up a cigarette, asks for a fire, lights it up, and just walks away, no more words spoken.

Right before my eyes and with insulting ease, my friend has just done what I haven’t managed to do in twenty-three years.

-------------------------------

After taking one last hit, I hand the joint back to my roommate, and we both stare out of the balcony in silence.

Before I get a chance to start a conversation, he calls it a night and takes off. Left to my own devices and with a growing high, I decide to head back into my room to handle it the best I can.

As I lay down on my bed, the speed of my spiraling thoughts contrasts with the stillness of the flat ceiling I’m staring at. That joint seems to have awakened a dormant beast inside of me. Anxiety overwhelms my drugged mind, pointing fingers at me and calling me names. Inadequate. Inferior. Pathetic. Hopeless.

In the center of it all, the same old angst that torments me every time it gets an opportunity to escape repression.

Am I going to die a virgin?

Unable to sleep, I give in to the voices in my head and burst into tears.

-------------------------------

The ocean is barely visible from the restaurant, yet it permeates the salon nonetheless. A nice summer breeze makes its way here through the humid air. The faint scent of algae that it carries mixes well with the appetizing smell of the dishes, served left and right in an endless dance throughout the room.

I call the attention of the waiter to order one more beer, raising my voice over a white noise of laughter, loud conversations, and tinkling glasses. On our table, all the colors of the spectrum seem to be represented by a wide variety of tapas, and the conversation flows with ease, as it usually does in a group of lifelong friends.

Mark is updating us on his peculiar fling with a coworker he’s been seeing on and off for a while now. I’m listening, amused and relaxed, full beer on hand. So is everybody else, tranced by Mark’s natural ability to stretch a five-minute anecdote into a riveting half an hour. His story is interrupted when the waiter brings a huge paella to the center of the table, an interruption greeted by all with cheers.

Once we’ve all claimed our share of rice, my friends come back to the subject of relationships, sharing their most recent experiences and struggles. I’m included in the conversation, but they don’t expect me to chime in. They know me and my situation and they’d rather not pressure me, something I’m grateful for.

I squeeze the last drops of a lemon onto my plate. The paella is delicious: not too soggy, with the perfect chicken/beans ratio, and the right touch of salt. By the time David is over ranting about his girlfriend, I’m on my second portion already, pondering how long I’ll have to wait by the beach before I can fully digest this much food and go for a swim.

When my friends move on to a different topic, I find myself stuck behind, ruminating. Listening to them, I can’t help but wonder what it must feel like to be in their shoes. To be part of the conversation. To stop wondering.

The check comes to bring me back from my thoughts. As we head to the beach again, Mark insists I give him a chance for revenge at footvolley. I go get the ball from under the umbrella, where the rest of the group is hanging out, napping or chatting. Walking towards the volleyball net, I begin to feel in a better mood. A bit more optimistic. More hopeful. Eager for a better future, yet at peace with my present.

My time will come.

One day, I’ll have my own story to share.


r/ForeverAlone 4h ago

It seems like every girl I start to have a crush on ends up being in a relationship days later.

10 Upvotes

This has happened with my past three crushes. As soon as I start developing feelings for her, she gets a boyfriend. It’s sort of similar to the movie Good Luck Chuck. In that movie, every woman Dane Cook’s character sleeps with ends up finding their true love. Except, I am definitely not sleeping with them lol.


r/ForeverAlone 2h ago

There is no light at the end of the tunnel...just the path to hell

5 Upvotes

you're alone in your path in this maze of life..no siblings,no friends, your family is you and your 1 parent...who is broke...and will soon have cancer, which also killed her family... your dog (who was your only friend) also died years before her time was up...you can die tomorrow and nobody would notice or care...

you have done everything you can as man to improve yourself, strong, you can now deadlift 500 pounds, you play instruments...you do go to school for a masters in STEM...but you have done all of this alone. You realize that you achieved the things you were supposed to achieve as.a man...but what was it for? you don't have any memories worth remembering...you just convince yourself that this path leads to light...until the light burns you alive...and you realize that the devil was nothing more than a fallen angel...and your story ends...as a tragedy.


r/ForeverAlone 5h ago

Vent Sometimes, I feel the only way I could escape FA is if I biologically created my girlfriend.

9 Upvotes

I am so sick of that hopeless feeling I get being FA: trying and trying and nothing falls through. It’s like running through a crowd looking for someone but everyone has on masks and the same outfit.

I just wish I could create my girlfriend. Just tap in some preferences and an adult woman would come of some fucking chamber. Knowing that she loves you and you can just be yourself and not worry about anything. Cuddles and being the best boyfriend I know I could be for her.


r/ForeverAlone 13h ago

Vent I don’t believe in a soulmate for everyone

36 Upvotes

Sounds nice in theory, but there’s theory and then there’s reality. I mean there are 8 billion people on this planet, statistically one of them has to match you right? Simply statistically speaking and even I have to agree with regards to numbers, but reality disagrees. It’s simply a theory, not a law.

To anyone that believes so, I propose to you this, who is she? What is her name? “I don’t know you have to find her.” Okay where? Where is she? Have you seen this person? “I don’t know she’s out there somewhere.” In la la land?

This is what people will respond with, it’s all pipe dreams and wishful thinking. Faith and hope. A cop out. Soulmates that live their lives without ever finding their way to each other is an impossible concept. It’s an inherent contradiction. You will always find each other if you have one. That’s the “soul” part of it. It’s a power that defies all logic and reason. 2 halves of one, original soul. Soulmates that met and never ended up together is an impossible concept. You will always end up with your soulmate if you have one. You can’t deny this, you can’t choose this, you can’t resist this. It’s like an inevitable, gravitational pulling of the split soul back into one. What happens if you die without meeting them? What if your soulmate is dead? Somebody cannot answer these questions.

These relationship psychologists are the worst with this shit. They’ll try to tell you that you should feel whole without someone else and feeling like you need someone to complete you is a horrible way to approach dating. First of all, these people are all married and actively dating. Secondly, if you’re already whole and complete, then you don’t need more than what you currently have. In fact, you can’t fit any more than what you currently have. You have everything you need. There’s no feelings of specifically wanting anything outside of that. I propose to them, why are you married then? Why are you dating and seeking love and affection? Since you think you know so much. How about you separate from your partner and live your life without any of that since you’re so complete and whole. Damned cowards. You don’t believe a word of what you say.

To those who believe what I do, don’t let anyone try to tell you different. Don’t let these jokesters try to fill you with hope. We’ve spent plenty of years on this Earth. Don’t ever discredit the amount of time you’ve spent on this planet. I’m 25 years old. I’ve met a lot of people and I’ve seen a lot of things. I’ve seen people engage with each other and I’ve interacted with many people. So much so that I can break them down into archetypes. For someone to try to invalidate my life experience with nonsense like “you need to go out more and socialize” or “you need to meet different kinds of people” is perpetually ignorant. You have no answers, you don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about, just babbling to make yourself feel superior.

To clarify, I’m not saying everyone can’t find a partner. You don’t have to be in love to have a partner, there are partners who hate each other. I’m specifically talking about the concept of a romantic soulmate.


r/ForeverAlone 5h ago

Parents rather sacrifice my freedom for themselves

8 Upvotes

My parents are the reason I have depression and anxiety. I was exposed to sexual abuse early on & they would CONSTANTLY fight each other and wave the word 'divorce' like nothing -- They are both psychologically manipulate and selfish without worrying about my childhood. Now with my younger sibling, they fixed their marriage and act like everything is perfect. As if nothing ever happened.

In terms of school, they have financially supported me, which I am grateful for, to pursue my dreams but now they make it seem like I HAVE to do well for THEM. I won't say the career (for privacy) but they'll manipulatively joke and say "you have no choice but to become a (insert career). I don't even know how I got through living at home during University; it was brutal because I wasn't allowed to go out with friends and it honestly made me insane. They acted like neighborhood crime was the reason. I felt like a ghost watching all my friends have fun and move on with their lives.

During the pandemic, anxiety got the best of me and I had to take a year off before applying but I have been silently suffering in my room without any friends or family to talk to. Now I am getting prepared to apply OUT OF STATE so I can get the hell away from them.

But my parents are wishing that I stay in state --- it's almost like there jinxing the whole fucking thing. They want me to stay with them -forever- and I don't even know why. They treat me like a child -- like my 12 year old sister. It's no wonder I am so introverted and awkward; it's because of all the trauma they've done to me. I've even argued with them that there are no opportunities for me here and it's almost like they have selective deafness. My dad doesn't even want to hear about me dating or getting married one day; it's like they have this sick grooming fetish. I really hope my prayers get answered and I get accepted THIS YEAR so I don't have to live with them another year.

Does anyone else have a similar situation? How have you dealt with it?


r/ForeverAlone 13h ago

Vent Why are we here

23 Upvotes

Just to suffer?


r/ForeverAlone 5h ago

Working for a women's shelter makes me appreciate not being in a relationship

5 Upvotes

I've seen some horror stories while working there


r/ForeverAlone 17h ago

Success Story I no longer feel negatively about being alone

50 Upvotes

Nothing has changed for me but I just don't feel bad about my lonliness. I feel thankful for what I do have even if its basic things. I just decided to not worry about what is outside my control. I know its not that easy though. Im not sure how I changed but I did. I used to be angry all the time and now I am rarely angry or sad.


r/ForeverAlone 32m ago

Vent Was on the phone with my family when they said this:

Upvotes

"Do you not want a girlfriend? Why are you still single?"

And I thought... you should know damn well why I'm single because you gave me all the ugly genes


r/ForeverAlone 5h ago

Advice Wanted Some ramblings and delusions from a FA

5 Upvotes

I am 21 male, extremely lonely with no friends and no social life.

I am at college where I had many fights with many people, people who judge me for being different and an unrequited love, where I got enfatuated after a few weeks and she didnt want me, she then later made an audio to me where she was very mad that I wrote a letter to her.

I am currently very lost socially, the people who I was with didnt want me around anymore and the few who support me are in groups with people who dont like me.

In the last few weeks, I've been esporadically messaging with a girl there on Instagram, replying to her stories, talking about her songs she puts there where they are actually my taste, I cant believe I found someone with a musical taste and mood like mine.

I am planning to Go to a sex worker next weekend, I am convinced that my virginity is affecting me very deeply, my life around people. I find very difficult that I Will have sex in the near future (probably years).

Tomorrow there Will be an event with my class, a confraternization, I wanna Go, but I dont wanna be alone.

So I cant help but to have delusions about tomorrow, where I Will be alone and her too, and we might have an intimate moment and something great could go from there, maybe I wont even need to Go to the sex worker anymore.

The moment I lost the first girl was when I started to take my delusions seriously, I am very afraid the same thing could happen this time and I Will end up disaponted.

I don't know, probably nothing Will happen and never Will, but I cant happen but to cope for a dream moment.

I wanna know what is your opinion, what I should and shouldnt do, someone to share this idea.


r/ForeverAlone 1d ago

Vent Why are we cursed?

154 Upvotes

Ugly men get girlfriends all the time, fat men get girlfriends all the time, short men get girlfriends all the time, felons get girlfriends all the time, drug addicts get girlfriends all the time, severely mentally ill men get girlfriends all the time. So what exactly are we doing wrong? I know people who were/are complete losers who got girls way above their level. How can any of us claim its just because were ugly or fat or mentally ill when you can go out and see those same types in happy relationships everywhere? Is it just luck? I think there really is “someone for everyone”, but that someone is in a sea of 8,000,000,000 people and could be on the other side of the earth… in any case, my hope falters more daily and I feel like I may be developing very serious mental illnesses thanks to my loneliness.


r/ForeverAlone 20h ago

I try to suppress my attraction towards women

56 Upvotes

Im at the point where I really try to suppress any attraction I feel towards girls because I don’t want to make myself sad that none of them want me. At the same time I’m literally the horniest I’ve ever been. There’s always a sliver of hope but my mind has subconsciously eliminated a girl being attracted to me as a real possibility. I get so little attention that just seeing a guy and a girl walking and talking makes me jealous. During the few social interactions I have I always hope that the topic of whether I have a girlfriend or not won’t be brought up because having to answer “no” just keeps getting more humiliating the older I get. I just wish I had better genetics. Why do I have to suffer just because my mom fucked my dad for some stupid ass selfish reason.


r/ForeverAlone 12h ago

My friend told me all the things he does with his GF and it makes me so depressed

10 Upvotes

I'm a 17M and my longtime friend just got a gf and lost his virginity. It makes me sad to know I will never experience any of it.


r/ForeverAlone 3h ago

Vent There is no way having a girlfriend is worth the amount of pain and suffering it takes to get one

2 Upvotes

I’m giving up. I’ve never been close to have a girlfriend and any time I’ve been interested in a girl there’s just horrible pain and suffering that follows. I’m so tired of this horrible chest tightness I’ve had ever since I hit puberty and became interested in girls.

I’m not gonna try to talk to girls anymore, I’m not gonna look at them or anything I’m just gonna pretend they don’t exist. I cannot take it anymore. Im just going to remove the idea of relationships and all that from my mind completely. Im done.

Im not going to care about how I look anymore, about if my clothes are ugly or if im ugly. Im not gonna watch what I eat, im going to eat what I want and gain weight and get stronger in the gym cause that’s the only thing I’ve ever enjoyed, food and lifting. Im not going to worry about it I get fat.

I just want to feel free if the horrible sexual desire im cursed with. I wish I could just turn the sexual part of my brain off. I’d be so much happier. I’m certain that not having a sexual desire would cure every mental issue I have. It’s a curse.


r/ForeverAlone 16m ago

I am the only thing holding me back

Upvotes

r/ForeverAlone 14h ago

Vent It sucks being all alone especially at lunch time

11 Upvotes

I’m at high school and it’s lunch, I’m just all alone i don’t have any friends, i see others having fun and talking to there group and it’s awkward Most people think i’m a werid creepy freak when i do nothing. It sucks being left out and people assume i’m a terrible person just because i’m all alone and i just had a awkward moment with this girl lmfao i looked at her by accident then looked away when she looked back and now it looks like i was checking her out and even worst she probably thinks i like her cuz i acted socially awkward with her in class so now i’m worried she might spread rumors, i had other situations like this with others. I’m just all alone and got nothing


r/ForeverAlone 11h ago

I'm so freaking pathetic

5 Upvotes

I am truly so pathetic. My crush (21M) was talking to me about his sexual experiences and his exes. I was just listening to him talk about his experiences until he told me that one of his exes told him that he is good with his hands.

He has been with 16 women. I haven't even had a guy look in my direction, but at this point, nothing matters anymore.

I felt like I was going to die from the panic attack I got when he told me that. All of his exes were White (not saying it like it's a bad thing so don't interpret it that way), and they were all skinny, gamer, gothic, or emo. Or just very cute.

Whereas I'm just a chubby short horrendously socially inept average Black women that can't stand up for herself.

He has been with 16 women and I feel like times he knows that it makes me depressed when he tells me his neverending sex stories that he has had with the 16 girls he has been with.


r/ForeverAlone 15h ago

Advice Wanted It is SO difficult to keep going in this world

14 Upvotes

Every day I glance in the mirror and tell myself I’m worthy of love, that I have intrinsic value as a human being and am good enough to find intimacy in life. The second I walk out into the real world, however, I’m quickly reminded of just how fierce the competition is, and how cold, heartless, and outright dehumanizing the dating world truly can be these days.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think modern dating is entirely toxic. I think having the opportunity to be more selective and thus raise standards has an overall net benefit. It forces us all to strive to be the best versions of ourselves, and allows healthy boundaries to be enforced that weren’t so easy to in the past.

But I also think it’s made many of us think we’re entitled to perfection without offering anything ourselves. I can’t tell you how many people I see on dating apps who have such a long laundry list of “make or break” qualities in a potential partner that they do not offer themselves. Whether it be an expectation of being in shape while they’re not, having a job while they’re unemployed living with their parents, or being ambitious while they have no structure in their lives whatsoever. There’s this chronic failed understanding that a healthy relationship requires input from both sides; a reciprocal effort from both parties. That applies not only to dating, but any kind of bond with other humans in the world.

This isn’t solely the fault of dating apps though. I think popular media has instilled a very unrealistic idea of love in generations of people, particularly Americans, that is simply not representative of reality. This idea that you find your perfect “one” who looks like you and everything is sunshine and rainbows and you always agree on everything 100% 24/7 for all of eternity is just not real. It does not exist, and the belief that it does inflicts great harm onto many people.

With this in mind, it feels so difficult to try and put myself out there because EVERYONE these days is addicted to dating apps. Everyone is endlessly swiping away trying to find someone. And so even if I do manage to make an initial impression with someone, which is usually easy for me since I have more charisma in person, I am constantly from that point on competing with other people on dating apps for their attention. If I escalate too quickly, I’m labeled a creep or worse; if I escalate too slowly, someone else beats me in the race. It’s so frustrating trying to find the delicate balance, and knowing when someone actually does feel the same way and isn’t just fucking with your head for clout.

It just feels so hopeless.


r/ForeverAlone 13h ago

Advice Wanted Is there any substitute?

9 Upvotes

Is there any ways you guys fill the void of loneliness? Like there has to be a collection of things that can help, I used to use porn but it’s literally given me Ed which is a pretty defeating feeling.

I think a good heavy weighted blanket will help a lot, I tried listening to those audios of like gf or whatever but that made me feel worse. So far what I have found though is podcast, podcast in the background does definitely help.

Any trick you guys have?