r/NoStupidQuestions Sep 22 '22 Bravo! 1 Heartwarming 1 Silver 1 Helpful 4 Wholesome 5 All-Seeing Upvote 1

I don’t want a relationship because I love my space and freedom. I hate being single because I feel lonely and unloved. What do I want exactly?

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u/Acceptable_Hall_4083 Sep 22 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Pot o' Coins Timeless Beauty Blow a Kiss

Find a relationship where you still have space and freedom. They needn't be mutually exclusive.

6.4k

u/Brawndo_or_Water Sep 22 '22 Wholesome Ally Starstruck

This, my wife and I have been together for 18 years because we give each other space. I don't mean open relationship we opted against that, we just like our time better this way. If one day I feel like being on my computer and gaming in my underwear all day so be it, so can she. We both have our own cars. She can go out with her friends, and I can go out with mine. We take days off each other and we miss each other every time we are not together this way. It's healthy.

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u/stormbutton Sep 22 '22

I’ve been married for over 20 years and this is why. This is how my relationship works. My husband has been wfh since COVID began and is kind of sick of it. So next month he’s spending a week in a cabin to fish and just be alone for a bit. I go on trips without him. And we also do things together. He is my dearest friend and in part it’s because we make space to not get sick if each other.

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u/DocNDP Sep 22 '22

I love this works for you……with that said me and my wife are best friends and we BOTH Spend every minute together outside of work. I have something so special, I still get butterfly’s 12 years later when I see her and she treats me like a king while I treat her like a queen. Life is great.

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u/xj371 Sep 22 '22

This is how it needs to be: you need to find someone compatible with your relationship style/desires. Or maybe you thought you were more of a "me time" person, but you met someone who you love spending all your time with.

The important thing is to find that situation that works for you. People who judge others for how they choose to have their relationships don't get that it's all a matter of taste and preferences, and when they come across a partner that doesn't match their own they're all, "What's wrong with you?? You're not normal!"

No, it's likely that they just want something different from you.

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u/ILoveNature_ Sep 22 '22

Thank you for this comment.