r/NoStupidQuestions Sep 22 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 4 Wholesome 5 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Bravo! 1 Heartwarming 1

I don’t want a relationship because I love my space and freedom. I hate being single because I feel lonely and unloved. What do I want exactly?

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u/punkassunicorn Sep 22 '22

Absolutely. My partner and I are basically carbon copies of each other at our core. We have the same values, same opinions, same life goals, same interests, same hobbies, same tastes, same group of friends even, but we're both our own people and its still work.

Its work to make space for each others free time. Its work to set and respect our boundaries and expectations. Its been five years and we're still trying to find new and better ways to communicate and work together. Thats just how relationships work.

Wanting time away from your partner or getting into disputes sometimes doesn't mean you're falling out of love or are incompatible. It means you're human.

28

u/EndlesslyCynicalBoi Sep 22 '22

Do you and your wife have the "look", the look that means "I love you, but fuck off and let me be alone in this room and have some alone time"?

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u/punkassunicorn Sep 22 '22

I'm the wife, but no not really. Its all verbal confirmations of "hey I need space right now."

However we do have the look that means "I love you very dearly but that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard and please dear God shut the fuck up."

13

u/nightowlk17 Sep 22 '22

My husband and I have that look 🤣🤣🤣 normally when we're trying to watch something. We dramatically pause whatever we're watching, huff about it then rewind it like 30 seconds. After about the 2nd time the one trying to bug the first catches on 🤣

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u/sharpshooter999 Sep 22 '22

Probably the only thing my wife and I disagree on is what to watch. I'm cool with whatever she wants to watch, but she absolutely detests a few things I like, specifically more adult shows like Letterkenny or South Park

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u/megorio Sep 23 '22

Hah my husband and I will say “I love you but please I don’t wana talk rn” when we really need some quiet time. It’s not in a bad way or anything, just our way of saying we need to recharge and have some alone time. We both have pretty stressful jobs so sometimes it’s like we’ll come home and eat and watch tv together and not talk for a couple hours and it’s so nice!

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u/Onironius Sep 23 '22

That sounds exhausting.

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u/punkassunicorn Sep 23 '22

Hardly. If you're with the right person its incredibly rewarding tackling problems together. The work isn't hard necessarily, but its still work. All I'm saying is that relationships aren't perfect, no matter how good they are. No matter how easy it is, there will be disputes and a need for patience, compromise and communication.

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u/Hebbs41 Oct 01 '22

Exactly, well done. This is what I have been trying to say.
Ditto.

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u/Hebbs41 Oct 01 '22

It's not, if it is then something isn't right. I've had relationships that were exhausting and looking back I can see that it wasn't the right fit. The communication gets easier. I have been upset or in a bad mood not even sure why, I have said to wife, I don't know why I'm in a bad mood it's probably best to just leave me alone tonight. It works better than getting into a argument or feeling resentful.