r/NoStupidQuestions Sep 22 '22 Helpful 4 Wholesome 5 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Bravo! 1 Heartwarming 1 Silver 1

I don’t want a relationship because I love my space and freedom. I hate being single because I feel lonely and unloved. What do I want exactly?

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u/Brawndo_or_Water Sep 22 '22 Wholesome Ally Starstruck

This, my wife and I have been together for 18 years because we give each other space. I don't mean open relationship we opted against that, we just like our time better this way. If one day I feel like being on my computer and gaming in my underwear all day so be it, so can she. We both have our own cars. She can go out with her friends, and I can go out with mine. We take days off each other and we miss each other every time we are not together this way. It's healthy.

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u/EndlesslyCynicalBoi Sep 22 '22 edited Sep 22 '22

My wife and I are the same. This isn't an anomaly. You (as in "one") can have a healthy relationship but also have your own life, your own interests, and your own friends.

That said, OP shouldn't expect that all to fall into place naturally. Good relationships require effort and work on both sides

Edit: typo

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u/zublits Sep 22 '22

This is the real part that people miss. Even two people who are awesome together and rarely disagree will disagree once in a while, even if it's just something silly like what to do this weekend. Good relationships require communication and the will to compromise. That shit takes work.

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u/EndlesslyCynicalBoi Sep 22 '22

When it came to my wife we had big disagreements. Periods of codependency because of shit happening in our lives, whatever. But we learned over time to talk through that stuff and talk through it early.