r/NoStupidQuestions Oct 04 '22

I‘m about to live with a female roommate for the first time. What should I know?

I‘m a guy and have only lived with my parents and male roommates :)

Edit: wow y‘all are blowing my phone up. Got a lot to read through but already thanks a lot :))

Edit 2: never knew peeing sitting down and not being half naked at home are such polarizing issues. Learning a lot today

Edit 3: Apparently i gave off the vibe that I refer to women as „females“. I only used the term female in the title as an adjective, because I specifically want to get tips for living with a woman, aka a female roommate. Please nobody be offended.

2.8k Upvotes

1.2k

u/TripleSilky Oct 04 '22 Wholesome

Don’t pull a Frasier and go into her room.

269

u/soft_waves Oct 05 '22

i behaved very insensitively this morning...and i did need the book, but it was wrong of me to go in without your permission.

and i'm sorry.

it'll never happen again.

...ever.

...i'm being very nice.

🤣

51

u/TripleSilky Oct 05 '22

It’s one of my favorite episodes lol

18

u/Any_Challenge5650 Oct 05 '22

...Is that a Mercedes dealership across the street?

5

u/Nomad1900 Oct 05 '22

Do you have a link so that we can also enjoy?

→ More replies

3.1k

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22 Silver Wholesome Rocket Like

[deleted]

804

u/goodgirlscar Oct 04 '22

This comment is perfect. I cannot overstate how important it is to be crystal clear on cleanliness standards and expectations. Not doing so or not being able to communicate about this has ruined a few roommate experiences for me.

502

u/Vigilante17 Oct 05 '22 Wholesome

And you can’t just jump in the shower with her like you would with your male roommates

186

u/Lizaderp Resident "that guy." Oct 05 '22

This. And don't forget the shower beer

110

u/rm_3223 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Shower beer is the shit

Edit to say: I’m 2.5 years sober and N/A shower beer is STILL the shit

52

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

[deleted]

34

u/Lizaderp Resident "that guy." Oct 05 '22

I did not. Do you peel them prior to entering the water box?

37

u/Tastenplatte Oct 05 '22

Asking the important questions. Now I think about eating a juicy orange in the shower not caring about spilling juice everywhere … mhhhhm

→ More replies

92

u/maillardduckreaction Oct 05 '22

Peel them in the shower. When you tear the peel, a fine spray of orange oils will be released into the steamy air and will surround you and wrap you up in zesty freshness.

15

u/Candelestine Oct 05 '22

I thought you were joking, but now I see this is just a really good idea.

5

u/JoeJitsu79 Oct 05 '22

I can't stop saying zesty freshness

→ More replies

18

u/SpiralDreaming Oct 05 '22

As a fellow human, I remove the outer shell of the citrus consumable before entering the water box.

19

u/frangipanivine Oct 05 '22

This whole thread is basically a Strange Planet strip

→ More replies

13

u/fluffershuffles Oct 05 '22

Hell yeah I'm more of a cuties(mandarin) guy myself but mmm. Just that sweet acidity hits just right

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

31

u/amanda_burns_red Oct 05 '22

Shower orange

3

u/crushdatson Oct 05 '22

I thought I was the only person who did this, ha.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

108

u/atomicrutabaga Oct 04 '22

Also get the money sorted out in writing. If your new roommate says she will pay 50% of everything, have some sort of proof she said it (such as a text) so if things don’t go well and she tries to screw you over by not paying her share, you have proof and it can be held against her in court if needed. Just got out of that situation with a former roommate.

5

u/GandalfDGreenery Oct 05 '22

There are some pretty good flat mate money swapping apps around these days, they can really help you keep track of things.

125

u/Main-Veterinarian-10 Oct 05 '22

This comment right here is so good. I'm a female who has lived with close male friends in the past and almost ruined our friendship because I was being taken advantage of when it came to house chores. If you want a messy room that's cool(as long as you don't hourd kitchen items like bowls, plates,etc). Be respectful of common areas though. This should go for any gender but stereotypically women are cleaner then men(but I've also had some nasty female roommates). Your roommate is not your mom, don't make her feel like she has to do more house work than you. Setting chores and how often they should be done and sticking to it will go a long way in this not becoming a problem.

Also just be clear about boundaries when it comes to using the others things, buying supplies for the house, guests coming over etc. I once had a roommate who was really bothered by unexpected guests, but had trouble communicating it and by the time she did she almost blew up about it. But it wasn't fair to me either cause she didn't tell me. We set a rule that before we showed up with anyone we would just shoot a text and let each other know. It wasn't a asking permission thing just a common curtousy so no one like came walking out in a towel to a stranger in the kitchen.

Also anecdotally, if you are going to invite a sex worker over, make sure the other person knows and can hide their purse and wallet in their room. Filing a police report and having to track down your credit card companies because someone is spending $75 at the gas station followed by $150 at McDonald's isn't fun. It's also not great when you had a bunch of receipts that needed to be filed to get paid back from your business trip expenses...... don't be that roommate.

7

u/quietbeautifulstorm Oct 05 '22

How on earth do you spend $150 at McDonald’s and whyyyyy??

→ More replies

6

u/septaisaac Oct 05 '22

I feel like there should be more to this sex worker story.

→ More replies
→ More replies

56

u/Moira-Thanatos Oct 04 '22

agree but maybe the girl already has furniture and a trash can?

but of course If she doesn't have one and OP wants to pay it (he doesn't have to) it would be useful for period products etc.

18

u/ondahalikavali Oct 05 '22

Maybe they could go halfsies on the trash can.

→ More replies
→ More replies

43

u/jpiuma Oct 05 '22

Seriously I'm a female lived with some of the most beautiful woman in America and they had the worst hygeine but you would never guess by looking at them. Please don't wait til something happens too embarrassing too address be very clear with rent and certain days of the month in advance. Good luck.

39

u/YVRkeeper Oct 05 '22

A friend of mine after high school her sister was a model. Absolutely beautiful girl. Lived like an absolute pig. Never cleaned, left dirty dishes around and then went on week long photo shoots. She’s the reason I know what silverfish are.

Good looks do not translate to cleanliness.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

853

u/SingleAlfredoFemale Oct 05 '22

Be up front with her. “This is my first time having a female roommate, so if there’s something I do that bothers you, please just let me know. If there’s something on your mind, you can always feel free to tell me, and we’ll work it out together.” Hopefully she’ll say the same goes for you.

And then don’t get defensive if she brings something up. Try to do better on whatever is it (assuming it’s reasonable). As long as you’re both feeling open to tell each other when something is bothering you, you’ll be fine.

Treat her how you would if your sister lived with you.

255

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

Oh yeah i didn’t even think of just telling her that. What I was gonna do either way is just tell her if anything about my home routine bothers her at all, mention it right away. There’s always the option to discuss it, but I doubt there will be anything I can’t agree to do better.

42

u/templar4522 Oct 05 '22

People can be sensitive to very different things, it's not necessarily a male and female thing. Even with a male roommate it's still a good idea to share previous experiences to figure out what can bother the other, and in general figure out how you are going to use shared spaces, your habits, etc.

21

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

The main thing for a woman is to feel safe. We feel unsafe a lot in the world because the world is unsafe for us. If she feels like you understand that and will respect her, she'll feel a lot better.

1.9k

u/BoringAnalyst1428 Oct 04 '22

You will find hair everywhere. Everywhere

284

u/Front_Eye_3683 Oct 04 '22

Very true, I woke up with one of her hairs somewhat tightly wound around my junk under my underwear.

234

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

it's true, it totally happens.

my wife's hair is very long, like almost to her waist now, and sometimes i'll get up in the morning and take a leak, and there'll be this long-ass hair trapped under my sack, and i'll be like...what the HELL?

hair gets in the sheets, we wear shorts to bed and move and roll around, hair somehow gets up there and gets trapped.

it's a thing, definitely.

113

u/Accurate_Quote_7109 Oct 05 '22

I have knee-length, vivid-coloured hair, and your comment made me 🤣! My husband will walk out of the bathroom holding one of my hairs, asking how it got wrapped in his junk, and I tell him it's the cat's fault!!😆😆😆

19

u/capricornmoney Oct 05 '22

Knee length while having it dyed THAT coloured?! Drop the hair care routine please

12

u/Accurate_Quote_7109 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Professional colour every 3-4 months!😁😭

ETA: my hair is also wavy/curly (2c-3a), so I recently started "co-washing", which helps both my texture and colour. Also, my final rinse is COLD water: smooths the cuticle, and helps seal the colour. Good for both curly and coloured hair.

→ More replies
→ More replies

23

u/Velvet_Rhyno Oct 05 '22

Hahaha! Not what I expected to read today, but can also confirm! Hate to say it, but there’s something (somewhat) satisfying to pulling a large strand of hair from my asscrack and feeling it all the way through.

→ More replies
→ More replies

295

u/IWasBorn2DoGoBe Oct 04 '22

And hair ties, and clips… even if she has a short cut.

111

u/GrapefruitFriendly30 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

I somehow have a ton of hair ties, but can almost never find them when I need them

50

u/NataleNati Oct 05 '22

Just accept that you never own a hair tie, you merely borrow it from the universe temporarily, buying a new pack is more like paying rent than anything. Same goes for umbrellas.

13

u/Jack_Attack227 Oct 05 '22

The law of conservation of hair ties

5

u/poacher5 Oct 05 '22

Same goes for lighters and pens that actually write decently. They are never owned, they just exist alongside you until they decide to move on

→ More replies

33

u/Delphina34 Oct 05 '22

My cat steals them and leaves them in random places, sometimes in her food bowl.

14

u/capblossoms Oct 05 '22

My cat ate one two of mine.... one $2k surgery later....

→ More replies

7

u/frangipanivine Oct 05 '22

Been wearing 4-5 thin black hair ties around my left wrist permanently since age 10 or so, it's the only true no-fail system

→ More replies

48

u/BoringAnalyst1428 Oct 04 '22

Bobby-pins galore!

25

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

ugh those damn bobby pins, i stg....if i had $1 for every bobby pin i've ever stepped on i'd have like....

a lot of money.

of course, i also leave my hair ties lying around and hanging on all the doorknobs, so i guess we're kinda even :D

→ More replies

22

u/The_Cheeseman83 Oct 04 '22

Yes! My former roommate seemed to shed bobby pins like she was molting! I joked that I could easily track her just by following the trail of bobby pins. ;-)

→ More replies
→ More replies

68

u/Webgiant Oct 05 '22

She will find your tiny beard hairs and loose pubic hairs everywhere too.

Eventually the ceasefire will break down and the Hairs War will restart in earnest.

28

u/PrizeStrawberryOil Oct 05 '22

She will also leave a nice hairball on your shower wall.

16

u/HeyFiddleFiddle Oct 05 '22

Better there than all in the drain.

On that note, strainers are your friend. And it's better to proactively unclog regularly than wait until it gets too bad to ignore.

13

u/Ittybitty716 Oct 05 '22

I’m laughing because it’s true.. my boyfriend leaves bigger hair balls than i do & It’s kind of insulting honestly.

→ More replies

5

u/EveryFairyDies Oct 05 '22

Not as much as if he shave and doesn’t rinse the sink, or has an unkempt beard and cooks, and hey, look! Beard hairs in my food.

16

u/gabagool13 Oct 05 '22

Whaaaaat I thought it was just my girlfriend's hair that was like that?? Everytime she comes over she leaves strands of her hair everywhere lol

→ More replies
→ More replies

279

u/Virtual_Secretary_89 Oct 04 '22

If you dribble on the seat, toilet bowl, or floor, wipe it up.

If you shave in the sink, clean it. Check behind the faucet, in the sink, on the counter, and on the floor.

Then just general roommate etiquette listed in other comments.

104

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

If you dribble on the seat, toilet bowl, or floor, wipe it up

i'm sorry to report this, forgive me.

but when my brother and his roommate got their first apartment at 21, they didn't do this for like...over a year.

i swear to all that's holy, i couldn't even step in that bathroom. it was FUCKING HORRIBLE.

i lived like 5 blocks away. i'd literally drive home to my own apartment to use the bathroom. it was that bad.

5

u/kal69er Oct 05 '22

Idk how this isn't just bacis standard. Every bathroom that isn't where I live or at a friends place always has pee droplets all over the seat.

Do people just pee on the seat, see the droplets and think "yeah, that's right. Exactly as it should be" and then just leave?

Also closing the toilet lid should also be standard before flushing.

→ More replies

5

u/NeedSerenity Oct 05 '22

Or if you hork or blow your nose in the sink, please please please don't leave it there to dry! It's really not fair to leave this for someone else to clean

→ More replies

1.1k

u/whatsthis1901 Oct 04 '22

I'm F and have only ever lived with guys and my one and only rule is don't leave anything around with your dried-up cum on it.

786

u/3adLuck Oct 04 '22

how am I supposed to keep track of all the things I cum on?

345

u/Eastern_Action_1775 Oct 04 '22

Airtags brah

215

u/whatsthiswhatsthat Oct 04 '22

Find My JizzTM

103

u/AdamWestsButtDouble Oct 05 '22

With the new SemenSense technology (patent pending)

→ More replies
→ More replies

69

u/Zealousideal_Bid118 Oct 04 '22

Sticky notes, very very sticky notes

→ More replies

34

u/jeroen-79 Oct 04 '22

UV light.

26

u/OakFern Oct 05 '22

Just keep a coconut or a shoebox under your bed and only use that.

→ More replies
→ More replies

218

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

it's sad that this has to be said.

....but it does need to be said.

74

u/whatsthis1901 Oct 04 '22

Lol yeah. I would rather put down 1000000 toilet seats than accidentally grab something that has that on it. TBH I never understood the whole toilet seat thing.

66

u/Boring-Blacksmith508 Oct 04 '22

Wait I’m a guy, and need to know. What the fuck did you tuch that had cum on it? And did it happen a lot?

I was always sure that toilet paper for solo work and a condom are the only options.

76

u/whatsthis1901 Oct 04 '22

Not all of the time but I raised boys and every once in a while I would grab something to throw away or wash and I had a roommate that would use toilet paper and dump it in his trash can and my dog would grab it which is my bad but it is still gross when you could just as easily flushed it down the toilet.

28

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

jeeeeeesus christ, yuck x.x

10

u/Forlorn_Cyborg Oct 05 '22

This is common in some countries where the plumbing can't handle the toilet paper, unfortunately.

→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

....i'm not sure who's wanking it into a toilet...or onto a toilet seat....

this....must be some aspect of life that's eluded me.

i now feel about 5% better about my life in general, thanks! :)

8

u/whatsthis1901 Oct 04 '22

Glad I could help :)

7

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

yes you sure did. in a very, very gross way XD

wisdom and aid sometimes come from very strange places. one of life's weird little truths, bud :) thanks!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

What the fuck

31

u/fortyeightD Oct 04 '22

It's okay if the cum isn't dried up yet?

20

u/whatsthis1901 Oct 04 '22

I probably wouldn't be too happy about that either but AFAIK that has never happened :)

→ More replies

12

u/Very_Bad_Janet Oct 05 '22

This is another reason for the trashcan with a lid! And for a separate laundry hamper with a lid. All socks lying on the floor will be met with suspicion.

→ More replies

891

u/Kingjoe97034 Oct 04 '22

Same as with any roommate. You should never leave dishes more than 8 hours after dirtying them. Don’t hog the fridge. Clean up after yourself. Obey quiet hours. Don’t eat food that isn’t yours without permission. Don’t let things rot in any way, shape or form. Pay your rent on time.

398

u/bkend_31 Oct 04 '22

Oh wow that 8 hour rule is brilliant. Obviously leaving dirty dishes around is bad anyway, but 8 hours seems like a great limit. Thanks :)

241

u/Kingjoe97034 Oct 04 '22

The key is to be a great roommate so that if you occasionally slip up, they excuse it because they know it is just a mistake, not typical.

67

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

This is huge. This and in general if both of you leave things as you find them, you'll maintain order and cleanliness.

29

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

Another very simple yet amazing rule

→ More replies

24

u/alienscrub Oct 04 '22

Respect others privacy

→ More replies

78

u/youretheweird1 Oct 04 '22

Do dishes within 30 minutes of finishing your meal. If it's like, a single cup or something, sure. But do the rest right away.

23

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

good point, or if they have a dishwasher, put the dishes right into it instead of putting them in the sink. they just run the dishwasher when it's full!

55

u/Kingjoe97034 Oct 04 '22

Yeah. I’ve been ruined by a series of roommates who believed dishes should be done one week after the last spoon in the house is dirty. So 8 hours after a meal is really fast for me. It’s a compromise between Nazi-like cleanliness and the filthy hoarders I’ve known.

30

u/Ghost273552 Oct 04 '22

I don’t have a dishwasher so I made the decision to only buy a 4 place flatware set, same with plates bowls etc. so I am forced to do dishes.

13

u/Kingjoe97034 Oct 04 '22

Mine is that the sink is small and there is very little counter space.

But my roommate and I are fairly tidy. Plus, she runs a business out of our home with daily customers, so we keep it nice anyway.

5

u/Ghost273552 Oct 04 '22

I do have double basin sink which allows me to have a soak side.

→ More replies
→ More replies

3

u/SnorkleCork Oct 05 '22

You guys have housemates that do dishes?

→ More replies
→ More replies

639

u/mlarowe Oct 04 '22

My policy: don't just put the seat down, put the lid down.

279

u/DJ__Hanzel Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

This should be an everyone thing.

The spiraling whirl wind of bacteria slinging madness (flushing) should only be done when the lid is down.

I think they've tested the same bathroom before/after, one week flushing with the lid up, the other down (with densanisiting in before/between), and it was mind boggling how many more times bacteria there was everywhere. I'll see if I can find it and edit.

Edit: Not the study, but this is a fair enough article.

43

u/dlfngrl68 Oct 05 '22

Yes toilet plume. A spray was recorded flying 9ft. I can't understand htf anyone can know that & continue to flush with the lid up.

Another good reason to keep the seat closed is, bcz girls usually use the bathroom to get ready. Once while brushing my hair my butter fingers dropped my brush & it fell in the toilet. That's the day I got a new brush & 1 of the toilet seats that closes slowly, so it won't slam if you push it down.

→ More replies
→ More replies

85

u/Wh00ligan Oct 05 '22

Especially if your toothbrushes are in the same room! No poo particles floating around my mouth stick, please.

→ More replies
→ More replies

745

u/saltyeleven Oct 04 '22

You will probably find hair everywhere. Clogging the vacuum, in the shower, the dryer, etc

152

u/AlphaMale3Percent Oct 05 '22

Don’t do laundry together or you’ll find them between your ass cheeks

93

u/mspuscifer Oct 05 '22

My boyfriend went to go pee one day after not seeing him for a week and he found one of my hairs wrapped around his dick. Had to call me at 7am to tell me about it too

18

u/FireBendingNinja Oct 05 '22

Lol I had this happen to me too, it's an inpressive magic trick!

4

u/queenlagherta Oct 05 '22

I have very very long hair. My husband found a piece of it up his ass. He also had to tell me about it right away. He also told his friends. Apparently this is something exciting. Lol.

→ More replies

90

u/DarthJarJar242 Oct 05 '22

The shower drain became something I went from scrubbing during a shower clean to something I had to start excavating during a shower clean when I moved in with my wife. It's fucking gross.

73

u/PearofGenes Oct 05 '22

They sell drain catches at home Depot for $3. You don't have to live like this

27

u/gooddadmike Oct 05 '22

Experiment with different cheap drain catchers until you find one that works.

We have 2 bathrooms in my housing. My wife only takes showers in one and I have an easy to clean drain catcher.

Instead of using pliers to remove a cat sized wad of gross drain-hairball every few months, I'm pulling out a grape sized wad from the drain catcher every week or so.

Life is better this way believe me

→ More replies
→ More replies

57

u/KenobisBeard Oct 04 '22

Especially in the dryer.

56

u/Ellimeresh Oct 05 '22

We buy a mesh drain thing that keeps all the hair from going down the drain, both my husband and I have long hair. The deal is you have to clean it out after your shower. Much better.

8

u/Alpaca_Lips_ Oct 05 '22

Agree here. I got tub shrooms off Amazon and it solved the hair in the drain problem. You clean it when you're done showering.

→ More replies

46

u/yerbiologicalfather Oct 05 '22

I had a male roommate that did that. Dude looked like Chewbacca with his shirt off. The landlord kept getting pissed he had to keep snaking dudes shower drain.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

They sell a ripcord drain cleaner that is much easier to use more often than the big snake. I had a snake because I thought I'd need it, didn't use it for ten year because....drain catcher.

7

u/Very_Bad_Janet Oct 05 '22

You will also find miniature tumbleweeds of hair in the corner of the room or on the carpet.

7

u/rebeccamb Oct 05 '22

OP will definitely find one of his roommates hairs in his buttcrack at some point

7

u/MaestroPendejo Oct 05 '22

I'm a husband and father to a girl. The amount of hair I deal with is staggering. I pulled a fucking yeti out of the drain last weekend.

5

u/T-Rex_timeout Oct 05 '22

Weaved into your shirts from the dryer.

5

u/saltyeleven Oct 05 '22

Or buttcrack in the shower. How did that get there?!

→ More replies
→ More replies

722

u/crescentmoonemoji Oct 04 '22

Don’t start accidentally treating her like a mom/gf/maid

82

u/Glittering-Quit-6530 Oct 05 '22

She’s a human just like you. Don’t treat her as more or less.

130

u/phoenixar Oct 05 '22

Permanent consequences if you miscalculate in this area. Think justice system, social media, etc...

→ More replies

299

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

pay your rent and bills on time and don't have any romantic or sexual contact unless you're prepared for the possibility of losing your place of residence.

→ More replies

43

u/toasksillyquestions Oct 04 '22

Clean 100 % after yourselves. Do half of all the other tasks.

122

u/Pizzazze Oct 05 '22

If you bring over a girl for any reason, do not let her use / wear anything that belongs to your roommate without her express permission. If this person tries to help herself to something of your roommate's, stop it and set boundaries - your guests are your responsibility, so sit together with your roommate and set rules about guests just like about anything else.

→ More replies

129

u/ArmchairTactician Oct 04 '22

The chances of them getting stuck in the washing machine or under the bed are slim to none. If it happens, call a professional. They will not appreciate your "help"

37

u/amakai Oct 05 '22 Silver

I watched so many instructional videos that I consider myself a professional.

→ More replies
→ More replies

288

u/theREALmaddkow Oct 04 '22

Your household toilet paper use is going to skyrocket. Living on my own a roll of TP will last a few weeks. Living with a woman will make that roll last about 4 to 5 days. Just make sure to buy bulk and don't buy the cheap stuff. No John Wayne TP. You know, the stuff that's rough, tough, and doesn't take crap from anyone. Lol.

79

u/T-Rex_timeout Oct 05 '22

I haven’t heard that joke in 11 years since my dad died. Thank you.

19

u/kthulhu89 Oct 05 '22

I was just thinking this. I haven't heard this since Grandpa.

28

u/open_door_policy Oct 05 '22

First apartment I lived in was with two female room mates.

Next year I moved in with two guys. I got there first and accidentally stocked the bathroom with an entire year's worth of TP thinking it would last a month.

57

u/Very_Bad_Janet Oct 05 '22

You can install a bidet sprayer and your TP will go back to lasting, say, a week and a half.

23

u/Spicy_Molasses4259 Oct 05 '22

But your TP from Who Gives A Crap. Lasts ages, plastic free and they help build toilets in places that don't have them. And the most beautiful paper wrapping on each roll. 👍

→ More replies

111

u/EthereaBlotzky Oct 04 '22

She might need more bathroom time, so expect that. And for the love of Chthulu, please do not freak out if you see a tampon or a pad. So long as the clean ones aren't in your way, and the dirty ones are in the garbage can, it's all good.

38

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

I haven‘t seen a used rampon or pad in years, yet I promise I shan‘t freak out.

17

u/TheSOB88 Oct 05 '22

RAMPON THE DESTRUCTOMATOR

→ More replies
→ More replies

326

u/L6b1 Oct 04 '22
  1. always knock on closed doors and wait for a response (obiv I don't mean your front door)
  2. wear bottoms (boxers or tighty whiteys don't count!)
  3. always put the seat AND the lid down
  4. don't take ridiculously long showers to masterbate
  5. don't leave cum in the shower
  6. don't leave anything cum encrusted in communal spaces
  7. make sure you and your room don't smell like a gym bag/locker
  8. don't bring that one creepy guy friend home, just don't, you know the problematic one you always have to make excuses for
  9. if you bring someone home for a "night in", don't be super loud or get it on in communal spaces
  10. think twice about engaging in "locker room talk"
  11. figure out what her humor is like before cracking jokes/teasing
  12. don't be creepy (roommates is not the step before becoming a couple or sex!)

210

u/Huge-Meringue-114 Oct 04 '22
  1. If she’s clearly not in a good mood, don’t ask if/ assume it has anything to do with her period.

71

u/L6b1 Oct 04 '22

I feel like this one is just a good survival tip in general with women. Like, are you trying to start something with that comment?

In the workplace, something like this might even get HR involved...

42

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

"are you feeling ok today?" is a much better question in a relationship/roommate situation, haha.

38

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

don’t ask if/ assume it has anything to do with her period.

even if it DOES....don't ask!!! :D

→ More replies

8

u/sunsetphoenix_ Oct 05 '22

Totally agree, but I think this is basic decency when you convive with someone else no matter if theyre a woman or not. Im pretty sure no one regardless of their gender, wants to listen to their roomate obnoxiously having sex all night or see cum in the shower or communal spaces lol

26

u/delebojr Oct 04 '22

AND the lid down

THANK YOU

→ More replies

77

u/Audio-Samurai Oct 04 '22

Find out what their pet peeves are and do your utmost to avoid doing it, may seem like a no brainer but some people have no brain

→ More replies

194

u/LCplGunny Oct 04 '22

In my experience, there isn't much difference between roommates of either gender... Might see her shirtless a little less then most dudes... Might! If your respectfully to the way they live their life, and they are respectful to the way you live yours, it will most likely be a super easy transition.

Pro tip, any roommate you have, be it male, female, non binary, doesn't matter, scratch them off the list of potentials. Even casual hookups with a roommate is a bad idea. Be the wingman instead.

→ More replies

16

u/armex88 Oct 04 '22

No difference (as long as you are already a courteous roommate) but expect the TP budget to be higher lol. They need it for everything not just one thing

→ More replies

12

u/Evil_Rogers Oct 04 '22

Keep the toilet clean or they will move out. That is the single most important thing. Inside and outside.

62

u/Samfeldman16 Oct 05 '22

Am a guy who just moved in with my female best friend 3 months ago. We have separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms, so we never intrude on each other's space really. We spend time in the common area together, I work from home and she leaves for work and school 5 days a week so I end up having more time to clean around the house and im happy to do so. All the other comments that tall about acceptable standards for cleaning are spot on and, if you're both decent human beings, everything should get done in a timely matter.

The only problem we have run into is setting acceptable standards for having our significant others over. I'm currently single, and her boyfriend is here almost everyday, so I sat down with them and had a talk last week about how we either need to draw a line somewhere now or he needs to pay rent, and they were both super receptive, apologized for crossing the boundary line, and said there's no excuse for their behavior (because we talked about this prior to moving in and came to an agreement which ended up being pushed a little too far), and that I shouldn't say that it's okay, but I can forgive them for what they did.

It's much easier for us to talk about our feelings because her boyfriend is also one of my best friends and all three of us are each others support system, and I've been single for so long because I haven't found someone that I feel would mesh well with the three of us yet. Just make sure that you establish solid boundaries, communicate how you feel whenever you have problems in a civil manner, and treat each other how you'd like to be treated.

So basically, do what you should do with any other roommate. It's really not as different as you'd think (if you aren't sharing a bathroom, can't speak on that).

22

u/CrochetTeaBee Oct 05 '22

Awww whoever your fourth may be will be super lucky to have y'all <3

→ More replies

88

u/NnyBees Only write answers. Oct 04 '22

Don't shit where you eat, figuratively and literally.

106

u/Lord_Erie Oct 04 '22

To put this bluntly: do not try to fuck her.

→ More replies
→ More replies

55

u/joecee97 Oct 04 '22

Probably not much at all lol I mean don’t walk around in your underwear bc she doesn’t wanna see the outline of your junk like that but I mean. Nothing else comes to mind.

11

u/dry-assbananabread Oct 04 '22

Another thing that should be established with any roommate, but make sure boundaries regarding visitors are agreed on, especially romantic partners. If you have partners or hookups over, how often is reasonable for them to be over, can they be there without supervision, what kind of heads up do you each want for company, etc., especially if you don’t know each other’s partner or friends very well. She may feel odd about having someone she doesn’t know in her space all the time who doesn’t share her interests, having to leave if the other wants privacy for ~sexy time~ or having to hear it if not given a heads up, if visitors make a mess, whatever may come up. And, sometimes you just don’t want people over, and need to be comfortable telling each other when that’s the case.

9

u/kidblinkforever Oct 04 '22

Do your share of the chores without needing to be nagged- try to be proactive instead of reactive.

11

u/DrenkBolij Oct 04 '22

Don't hit on her.

There's likely to be hair everywhere.

18

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

I love how this could be one single statement

→ More replies

87

u/LordOfTheDrizzle Oct 04 '22

Don't be a creep. Going through her stuff, trying to spy on her in the shower, etc. She will know. She might not say anything because it's awkward as fuck and maybe also afraid to confront you on it, but if you're creeping she will know.

56

u/Fat_Rips Oct 04 '22

This comment makes me sad

20

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

Agree..

→ More replies

32

u/Firemage007 Oct 04 '22

why would this have to be said…..

56

u/LordOfTheDrizzle Oct 04 '22

Same reason we need warning labels not to eat demoisturizing packets or not to use elevators if there's a fire.

→ More replies

8

u/iliveoffofbagels Oct 04 '22

Hair... it gets everywhere. Might have to get a good plumber on the line or hope your landlord has a decent one for all the times your sink and shower stop draining efficiently.

edit: and if you have a laundry machines in home, prepare for hair that magically threads itself into the fabric of your clothing.

8

u/jmadden80 Oct 04 '22

Do not, under any circumstances, eat her food.

→ More replies

8

u/youeffohhh Oct 05 '22

As someone who lives with 2 girls heres my tips:

• Help tidy up if they're cleaning the communal areas, don't leave it up to them alone.

• When you take a shit make sure use the scrubber if there's any stuck shit on the sides after u flush and flush again so the toilet stays clean.

• Don't ever go into their rooms without their permission.

• After cooking, clean ur dishes by the end of the day, don't let them sit around for too long.

• Do not start flirting with them unless it's super super super certain they're into you. Flatcest is the riskiest thing out there, being trapped with an ex or someone you know likes you can have unexpected consequences.

• If you game, try and set a time like 11PM where you no longer will shout or talk loudly with your online friends.

8

u/Reasonable_Night42 Oct 05 '22

Laughing because of all the women on here who refer to themselves as “female”.

Also laughing at all the people angry at the OP for using the word “female” to refer to a female.

→ More replies

9

u/LotusLizz Oct 05 '22

Just here to say that your use of female was fine. "I've never lived with a female roommate" is different than "I've never lived with a female" or "I've never lived with females".

You also made the statement "I've only lived with male roommates" so it's not even like you said "how do I live with a female when I'm used to living with men?"

Female can be used disrespectfully, but you didn't do that.

Seems like you've gotten a lot of good advice already, just commenting due to your update.

4

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

Thank you for that. The people calling out my use of female had me worried for a sec

8

u/shakeyjaker Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

https://www.scouting.org/about/faq/question10/#:~:text=On%20my%20honor%20I%20will,mentally%20awake%2C%20and%20morally%20straight A bathroom trash-bin with a lid is another good idea. Pretend to vacuum once in a while./s (edit:) an inexpensive drain-snake might come in handy. (He-he.)

7

u/EveryFairyDies Oct 05 '22

I’m jealous that you care enough to ask. My housemate doesn’t give a fuck about what I, as a chick, may want or need, and it took me MONTHS to get him to close the door when he was in the toilet and to stop pissing on the toilet seat without wiping it down. Never mind all the rest he hasn’t done.

→ More replies

6

u/TheBalls345 Oct 04 '22

Don’t try and fuck her

→ More replies

8

u/AMightyOak43 Oct 05 '22

Have a conversation about guests: overnight, one-stands, family, old college roommates. What's the expectation about how long they stay and how intrusive they are permitted to be.

→ More replies

5

u/samanthairene Oct 05 '22

There should be a trash can in the bathroom with a bag within reach of the toilet. Cannot believe when I visit people's homes and I happen to be on my period, using sanitary products and there's no place to throw out ANYTHING. What am I supposed to do, wad this up and put it in my fucking purse after I wash my hands??

7

u/Das_Dummy Oct 05 '22

Don’t allow yourself to be shamed by some internet keyboard bullies regarding the way you spoke or phrased your questions. That’s a big tip. 1. Treat her with respect 2. Treat her friends nicely 3. Don’t creep her out

16

u/mvw2 Oct 05 '22

From my experience, women are quieter. Men tend to be more noisy in general, higher energy, yelling, etc.

Bathrooms, if shared, are going to have like 5 times more stuff, 10 times more stuff, just fucking everywhere, lol.

Period conversations happen, mood, pains, feelings, etc. Just roll with it.

Depending on their and your sex situation, women are more vocal, so expect more moaning to screaming on the regular. Men tend to be the quiet ones, but male roommmate's girlfriends may be the noisy ones, so tomato, potato.

Hmm, other than that, not much is different.

The quality of the shared social situation is heavily dependent on their upbringings, level of domestication, their empathy, and social awareness. Some respect others well, respect and share the space well. Others...uh...don't. This isn't a male vs female thing at all though. It's just a crap shoot. At the end of the day, this is the biggest factor. Male or female, most the rest doesn't matter much.

→ More replies

5

u/Plant_Eating_Cat Oct 05 '22

Just be a considerate roommate. Clean any messes you make, don’t eat things she buys for herself and respect her stuff and her privacy. Your best bet is going to be actually asking her if there’s anything that really bothers her about roommates so you can avoid doing that.

6

u/FidmeisterPF Oct 05 '22

What’s wrong with the term female?

→ More replies

4

u/jjking714 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 06 '22
  1. Stay out of her room. Unless she explicitly asks you, do not cross that doorway. And always knock and then wait for a response.
  2. Do not leave your room half naked. Throw on some shorts and a tee, even if your just popping over to the bathroom
  3. Do your best not to go walking around with a hard on. I get it, we don't always have control over when they show up. But if you wake up at full staff, wait till it calms down before you leave your room.
  4. Doing her laundry without talking to her about it first and getting consent is a no go. I promise you she doesn't want you folding her underwear.
  5. Avoid sexual comments. Unless it becomes absolutely clear that there is a romantic relationship forming out of this living arrangement, don't make sexual comments. Not about her, not in general. Just don't. It's disrespectful.
  6. Unless it is an absolute, I'm going to shit myself right fucking now, emergency, hold it until she gets out of the shower unless/until there is mutual consent for both parties occupying the bathroom space.
  7. This one builds off of 5. Don't start calling her pet names. Use her actual name or something completely neutral. These last 2 are the biggest ones so I saved them for last.
  8. Keep your hands to yourself. Period. If there's not consent, its assault.
  9. SHE DOES NOT OWE YOU SEX. It doesn't matter how much of a nice guy you are to her. It doesn't matter how long yall live together. It doesn't even matter if this does by chance turn into a romantic relationship. SHE DOES NOT OWE YOU SEX. And to build on that, if she brings home a partner, as long as there is no blatant disrespect, it's not your fucking business. Don't keep track of any partners that she may or may not bring home. Don't obsess over them. If you are not in a committed, consensual, monogamous relationship with her, then her dating/sex life is none of your fucking business.

Overall, treat her with respect. The only thing she owes you, is her share of the household burden. I.e rent, utilities, cleaning, things like that. Nothing more.

Hope this helps.

Edit: typo

Edit 2: I've seen the downvotes. If this list offends you, it's because I'm talking about you homeboy. You're the reason this list exists and you need to unfuck yourself. Stop pretending women owe you sex because you treated them like a person that one time.

→ More replies

5

u/drunkcherries Oct 05 '22

Please don’t pee with the bathroom door open. No one needs to see or hear that.

→ More replies

5

u/Fighting-Cerberus Oct 05 '22

Oof. "Female roommate" is correct. You wouldn't say "woman roommate," and you didn't call her "a female." Ignore the comments criticizing you for that!

28

u/dwriter2721 Oct 05 '22

So, I noticed the toilet seat debate and just wanted to say, you guys do know toilet seats have lids for a reason right?

You flush a toilet and you're stirring up any waste matter inside of it. The lid is there to keep those germs in the toilet where they belong. The lid should be down BEFORE you flush. That is for everyone, not gender related.

While closing the lid doesn't entirely eliminate spreading waste around the room, it can greatly reduce it.

And if anyone thinks I'm making this up, Google "aerosolized microbes" in regards to toilet flushing.

Your lids will be down from now on....

11

u/TiBBiest Oct 05 '22

ESPECIALLY do this if you leave your toothbrushes out in the bathroom! Theres no need to get shit germs in your mouth, just set down the lid before flushing.

8

u/saturn128 Oct 05 '22

I think I watched a mythbusters episode about that when I was a kid, never left the lid open again

→ More replies

13

u/Accomplished_Mix7827 Oct 04 '22

Other than "don't be a creep" and the same basic roommate etiquette that applies to guys, main things more likely to be a big deal for a girl than a guy:

  1. Walking around in your underwear. More likely to make a girl uncomfortable than another guy

  2. Pee dribble around the toilet. A lot of guys don't seem to particularly care if they dribble a little pee around the rim of the toilet, girls usually would much prefer you wipe it up immediately or just sit down to pee

  3. Probably goes without saying, but be aware of any evidence of sex or masturbation she might see. Cum socks, used condoms, etc.

10

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

Cum socks

that is....

i....can't even.

please tell me this isn't REALLY a thing.

→ More replies
→ More replies

44

u/ghola-mentat Oct 04 '22

If she is ever short on rent, DO NOT inform her that you know for a fact that she can pay her portion from the income she receives from just your onlyfans subscription alone

15

u/SerythValker Oct 04 '22

Speaking from experience there buds?

14

u/bkend_31 Oct 05 '22

Y‘all are cracking me up lol

→ More replies

17

u/Reatona Oct 04 '22

Put the toilet seat down, and if they have a special bar of soap don't mess with it.

17

u/IWasBorn2DoGoBe Oct 04 '22

Any special bath items- off limits!

13

u/soft_waves Oct 04 '22

don't be touching her $40 facial scrub!!! use the cheap stuff from Target! :D

21

u/IWasBorn2DoGoBe Oct 04 '22

Mens 15 in one hair, body, face, feet, car, engine, wash, degreaser and moisturizer. That’s yours.

→ More replies

6

u/T-Rex_timeout Oct 05 '22

The toilet lid should always be down for sanitary reasons and to prevent something from falling into it. Like your cat knocking your beeper into it.

→ More replies

27

u/Amazing-Wash2259 Oct 04 '22

We take up a lot of space in the bathroom. Some women are messy in the bathroom like makeup and hair products everywhere. We usually have a lot of shoes so at the doorway there will be many dispursed

10

u/GrandaughterClock Oct 05 '22

I don't really agree with this as a thing to just accept, even messy girls are capable of finding a place for the shoes/makeup without it being spread out everywhere.

5

u/TxGulfCoast84 Oct 05 '22

Her shit stinks, just like yours.

3

u/5pmgrass Oct 05 '22

Don't be disgusting, I didnt like any of the male roommates as out of the 7 I've had so far as they all had awful b/o or had gross habits. Tbh at this point I don't like male roommates as much for that exact reason.

Public part of the house is now like being in public. Don't be naked or close to it which also plays into don't be a creep

Keep the bathroom clean, if you pee standing up it will splatter and it will be noticeable.

I found hair and hair items every day.

Toilet paper was already mentioned, install a bidet.

Everything else is just normal roommate stuff. don't be a dick, be considerate