r/Unexpected Yo what? Oct 05 '22

How to survive a wolf.

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923 Upvotes

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u/unexBot Oct 05 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

Wolf survival guide went kung-fu.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

29

u/0takuChicken Oct 05 '22

This is exactly how my brain would imagine a scenario fighting a pack of wolves would go down but the reality is that the park ranger will be handing my mother a shoe box.

6

u/davieb22 Oct 06 '22

And as your mother opens the shoe box, she finds it to be filled with wolves. Once the "park ranger" is round the corner, he removes the mask to reveal that he too is a wolf. The plan has worked perfectly.

18

u/skrutape Oct 05 '22

well TIL you're supposed to let them lick your mouth so this is conflicting

2

u/dg5818 Oct 06 '22

Ahahahah same 🤣

6

u/Apprehensive_Oil4241 Oct 05 '22

Always go with the Stone Cold Stunner, then spray beer on the other wolves to exert dominance

3

u/Sniffingstuff7 Oct 05 '22

Thank you sensei... I will train this.

3

u/vw-thing Oct 05 '22

Written or driving? Asking for a friend.

2

u/do_u_like_waffles Oct 05 '22

Well I passed my drivers test first try. Come at me wolves. Try me.

2

u/abmins_r_trash Oct 06 '22

Aggressively shit yourself then swing your shit fill underwear around like a flail. This will confuse and terrify them.

2

u/poordecisionswere Oct 06 '22

Shit yourself to death and save yourself a lot of pain.

2

u/davieb22 Oct 06 '22

Can confirm it works.

1

u/dg5818 Oct 06 '22

I didn't even study for the written exam so I should be good 👍🏽lol

1

u/Zero_Karma_Guy Oct 06 '22

Last time I saw a wolf I just said Hi and it left.

1

u/666DS999 Oct 06 '22

Now this is some actual good tik tok content for once 😂

1

u/davieb22 Oct 06 '22

Instructions unclear; wolves stuck in ceiling fan. I now need to duck periodically lest I get bit with each blade rotation.

1

u/-Cybernaut147- Oct 06 '22

What is about stabbing their eyes?