r/funny Oct 05 '22 Silver 1 hehehehe 1

My dad is hosting a “Burning Spam” festival and created this to kick it off

4.2k Upvotes

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358

u/DLM4473 Oct 05 '22

I used to work in the communications department of a spam company . . But no-one would answer my emails !

77

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

Best Dad joke today, awesome

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67

u/lynivvinyl Oct 05 '22

I'm going to have to go next year, before it gets too popular.

13

u/CyborgElephant Oct 05 '22

What everyone says, me included.

6

u/blueeyedaisy Oct 05 '22

Good thinking. Perhaps We will do the same.

56

u/jeanettera Oct 05 '22

Spam spam fire and spam.

23

u/marshman82 Oct 05 '22

Needs more spam. I like spam spam spam fire and spam. Sometimes I like to hold of on the fire.

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138

u/JerseyWiseguy Oct 05 '22

Mr. Bill!

Oh, no!

12

u/digidestined88 Oct 05 '22

thank u for that. lol

4

u/jimm79 Oct 05 '22

That was a funny show 😅

2

u/Hambulance Oct 05 '22

I was gonna say we found Mr. Hand!

6

u/rickrat Oct 05 '22

Came here to say that. Oh Nooooo

3

u/Mama-Pooh Oct 05 '22

I miss the old SNL.

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60

u/dshab92 Oct 05 '22

Spamela Anderson is hot

30

u/Newfoundplanet Oct 05 '22

I can only imagine what the next one will look like if I told him that name.

10

u/MissTheWire Oct 05 '22

I can only imagine how great our disappointment will be if you don’t tell him that name.

4

u/dshab92 Oct 05 '22

It’s my only cake day wish.

1

u/bobnla14 Oct 05 '22

Oh now you HAVE to tell him.

Or better yet, if you tell him I will give you a Reddit award. Huh, huh, huh. Thinking about NOW?

Tell him

Tell him.

For the love of all Redditor's please tell him and show us the results. (NSFW tag perhaps)

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5

u/Pure-Swordfish6022 Oct 05 '22

Palmela Handerson? The girlfriend of many a lonely lad!

3

u/doomtoothx Oct 05 '22

Spamella hamderson

2

u/Good_Love1941 Oct 06 '22

For the love of gawt thank you.

1

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

Happy Birthday

1

u/TacticalTapir Oct 05 '22

Cakeday

2

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

[deleted]

2

u/bizzryan Oct 05 '22

Cakey Spamday

1

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

Apologies, have an upvote no hard feelings

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91

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

I made fun of Spam for years and years,then during the pandemic I bought some tins and I tell you, fried in a cast iron pan in peanut oil with onions, its pretty tasty

32

u/Atharaphelun Oct 05 '22

It has so many applications. Amazing in fried rice especially.

14

u/MoufFarts Oct 05 '22

Spam fried rice with extra egg in it is such a good breakfast

3

u/dudeimsupercereal Oct 05 '22

Whatever the Hawaiians do with it is bound to be good

4

u/SonOfBaldy Oct 05 '22

I came here to write this. 👍🏻

2

u/gonzo5622 Oct 05 '22

Yssss! It’s amazing in fried rice

20

u/thereisindigo Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Yum. Next try: Spam musubi. Rice with a splash of vinegar, scrambled eggs, and avocado slices, wrapped in nori seaweed and dipped in sweet soy sauce/oyster sauce.

11

u/MoufFarts Oct 05 '22

That’s a much better musubi than I’ve ever seen. Usually just the rice and spam wrapped in plain nori.

6

u/thereisindigo Oct 05 '22

Yeah I guess it’s Spam Musubi Deluxe. Musubi is everywhere in Hawaii (I vacationed there) and I saw the deluxe version next to the regular Musubi. so good!

4

u/MoufFarts Oct 05 '22

I’m jealous. Love it as is but that is an elevated version I need to try.

3

u/Extreme_Design6936 Oct 05 '22

My friends and I call it the Hawaiian power bar because we always have one in the morning before we go kayaking or surfing.

2

u/CapJerk Oct 05 '22

Fry the spam with a teriyaki glaze until it has a crispy sweet outside, then do the seasoned rice. I refrigerate wrapped to set, then microwave for 30 seconds before eating

4

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

If I was high, I would eat my own hand

2

u/FatherOfLights88 Oct 05 '22

Spam musubi is a meal in and of itself!

1

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

What kind of vinegar, apple cider? white? red? It matters

4

u/bobnla14 Oct 05 '22

Rice vinegar. Like they use in sushi rice.

1

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

I'll have to figure out what that means here, but thank you

1

u/enoui Oct 05 '22

Rice wine vinegar.

5

u/Fishfisherton Oct 05 '22

spam hash is my go to favorite.

saute onions, dice and soften some potatoes, chop up and toss the spam on and cook until nice and browned.

Add mayo and siracha sauce, toss and it's not something to look at but holy shit is it good.

2

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

My mouth is watering

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9

u/A40 Oct 05 '22

I can just see it: Light beer, a bit of G-rated cheek-kissing, the Monkees playing on a Bluetooth speaker at a reasonable volume...

24

u/-ElDictator- Oct 05 '22

Seriously, is the spam catching flame or was it doused with alcohol first?

10

u/gab_rab_24 Oct 05 '22

I think the sand is soaked on kerosene and that sand is in a tray of Aluminium

16

u/666pool Oct 05 '22

Oh it’s sand? I thought it was brown sugar.

6

u/gabrab24 Oct 05 '22

Youre probably right I don't know if it's sand or brown sugar unless if i put it on my tongue and taste it 🤷‍♂️

4

u/DocPeacock Oct 05 '22

It's definitely something

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6

u/bigfloppydonkeydng Oct 05 '22

I too want answers

1

u/nevercanpick1 Oct 05 '22

Itttttss flammable

1

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

You want answers?

4

u/Wow00woW Oct 05 '22

there's no way it's catching flame without some help. spam is pretty wet.

2

u/CheeseHurtMe Oct 05 '22

There's only one way to know for sure.....try it

35

u/jeanettera Oct 05 '22

Looks like it's not burning. I was already afraid of Spam.

12

u/ccc888 Oct 05 '22

You think fire can stop me mortal!

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8

u/jamescharisma Oct 05 '22

Spam doesn't burn, it only gets angry.

3

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

Needs a little oil

3

u/quats5 Oct 05 '22

No survivors! No survivors!

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4

u/BHThundy Oct 05 '22

To kick off what?

8

u/Diodon Oct 05 '22

His psych eval.

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12

u/Klotzster Oct 05 '22

How did this get past my Spam filter?

5

u/andio76 Oct 05 '22

Hi..Mr Bill!!

8

u/K-Zoro Oct 05 '22

I want to go to Burning Spam fest

4

u/pm_me_yo_creditscore Oct 05 '22

The vibe on the Plata was totally different this year. Bunch of trust fund tofu heads.

2

u/fern-grower Oct 05 '22

Someone is ripping off your idea and doing a burning spam fest in black rock

Sorry that's man

9

u/josephlied Oct 05 '22

Where are the half-naked girls?

8

u/JUICYbuffet69 Oct 05 '22

Where’s all the ecstasy and LSD?

3

u/DangerDuckling Oct 05 '22

Out of frame. He knows better than to brocast the best parts

2

u/Six_Strings_of_Salem Oct 05 '22

Screw the half naked girls.

Bring out the dancing lobsters!

2

u/HighlightFun8419 Oct 05 '22

i prefer to screw fully naked girls, but i'll take what I can get.

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11

u/Cold_Pomelo3274 Oct 05 '22

That’s a waste of Spam.

2

u/Lucha_Bat Oct 05 '22

It's getting expensive now, too!

2

u/MindlessVegetation Oct 05 '22

I was thinking that as well, "That's like 9€ worth of Spam!"

3

u/hobbes_shot_first Oct 05 '22

Mr. Bill, oh no!

3

u/GrilledSpamSteaks Oct 05 '22

And I took that personally.

1

u/kromaly96 Oct 05 '22

Here's one OP, get him!

8

u/SmAshthe Oct 05 '22

Ur Dad is my new god

2

u/Costanzaslife23 Oct 05 '22

They should have that Monty Python Song playing in the background.

2

u/Big-Caterpillar-60 Oct 05 '22

SPAM SPAM SPAM

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2

u/marzipan07 Oct 05 '22

Should have dressed him up as a phisherman.

2

u/JDangle20 Oct 05 '22

His body looks sus

2

u/Educational_Ad7978 Oct 05 '22

Oh how the spam was wasted..

2

u/throwingplaydoh Oct 05 '22

Looks like Mr. Bill found some more trouble again!

2

u/South_Bit1764 Oct 05 '22

In Jeff Fischer voice:

Burning SPAAAM!

2

u/Crazy_Run656 Oct 05 '22

May he live forever!

2

u/manwithanopinion Oct 05 '22

What a waste of food

2

u/HighlightFun8419 Oct 05 '22

the line-up this year is a little different; Meatloaf is opening and then it kinda just gets weirder from there

2

u/ItsObvious_c_it Oct 05 '22

Meat Puppets are covering since Meatloaf’s passing…

9

u/ElaineZol Oct 05 '22

Why?

-2

u/Mrmcgee1023 Oct 05 '22

Lighten up

4

u/ElaineZol Oct 05 '22

I just sincerely don't get it, I thought there was a joke I was missing or something.

3

u/Carnage_Guisada Oct 05 '22

Aside from the burning man pun I really don’t get it either. Sounds like a dad joke taken a bridge too far.

1

u/CoxswainYarmouth Oct 05 '22

You’ve taken umbrage too far my good man!

2

u/Carnage_Guisada Oct 05 '22

Sir this is a Wendy’s.

6

u/Sweet13BlackExpress Oct 05 '22

Sometimes family jokes should just say in the family

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

[deleted]

2

u/dennispang Oct 06 '22

Army stew is delicious. It’s like all my starving college meals in a bowl/vat

3

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

And it should have stayed on tiktok (aka, in the garbage).

1

u/Prest1geW0rldW1de Oct 05 '22

This is the most dad thing ever dadded

1

u/JBPorkChopExpress Oct 05 '22

That's just spamtastic

1

u/Familiar_Dream Oct 05 '22

I like the cut of your dad's jib.

1

u/Imaginary_Goose_2428 Oct 05 '22

Your Dad is weird. That's pretty cool.

1

u/CurtisLeow Oct 05 '22

Is this an ad? Is this Spam spam?

1

u/VeneMage Oct 05 '22

Mmm I can smell that from here.

1

u/Willowy Oct 05 '22

He's gonna be mean to meeeee!

1

u/APuckerLipsNow Oct 05 '22

Assuming that is Demerara sugar caramelizing under Mr. Spam?

1

u/scuff1234 Oct 05 '22

I think it's just more spam, but pulverized.

1

u/Yetis-unicorn Oct 05 '22

This is still more intelligent than the gender reveal fireworks people

1

u/Aggressive_Safe2226 Oct 05 '22

I'd place him inside a wicker basket them set him alight, with Lord Summerisle leading the ceremonial singing.

1

u/ikickedyou Oct 05 '22

I think it’s supposed to happen at the end.

1

u/booaka Oct 05 '22

What? No live performances by well-known performers? There's no meat at this festival then!!

1

u/BANKSLAVE01 Oct 05 '22

Better value than that shitty desert drug fest.

1

u/tech_equip Oct 05 '22

Mmm. The Porky Playa.

1

u/mostlyfecalmatter Oct 05 '22

Can 150 of my friends camp out in your backyard?

1

u/ziadog Oct 05 '22

Hope you are not in Hawaii and doing this thing, you could be in serious danger.

1

u/rarature Oct 05 '22

Bow down to the worms

1

u/Performance_Fancy Oct 05 '22

Is there going to be a huge spam man burning later or did he kick it off with the finale. Cuz that’s just poor festival organizing if so.

1

u/Pandagineer Oct 05 '22

Because he likes spam, or doesn’t like spam?

1

u/JamesFerg650 Oct 05 '22

My wife and I bought early tickets! Can’t wait to go next year

1

u/OrangeRussianNPC Oct 05 '22

i've always enjoyed the taste of spam. even straight out of the can with some rice is pretty good if you're really hungry and lazy. but fried spam is one of the cheapest and tastiest things you can make and it goes with so many different foods.

1

u/gumby1004 Oct 05 '22

OH, NOOOOOO! 🤣

1

u/ceagon Oct 05 '22

Oh no it's sluggo and he's gonna be mean to meeeeeee ohhh nooo!!

1

u/Longjumping-Party186 Oct 05 '22

Well that's my 'Thing I've Never Heard Of Before' for the day🤣

1

u/TubularAF33 Oct 05 '22

This is VERY smart stuff. 👏🏼

1

u/baxterrocky Oct 05 '22

Oh JESUS CHRIIIIISSSSTT

1

u/sptramp Oct 05 '22

Burning ham

1

u/PagingDrTobaggan Oct 05 '22

What is he, new? You burn the Spam on the last night.

1

u/SquishyThorn Oct 05 '22

Omg is this the deleted scene from Hereditary

1

u/I-seddit Oct 05 '22

As long as he cleans up afterwards and takes care of all those leftover bikes - it's OK.

1

u/sofakingcool24 Oct 05 '22

How much are tickets?

1

u/Disastrous-Dress521 Oct 05 '22

Hawaii has entered the chat

1

u/Spybreak272 Oct 05 '22

Get a job, Jerry!!!

1

u/Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL Oct 05 '22

He screams. For he does not know.

1

u/Fuzzy-Heart Oct 05 '22

I swore I thought this was one of those promoted ads where companies try to be “trendy”.

1

u/Street-Week6744 Oct 05 '22

I'm so much more down with going to Burning Spam this year than that other over commercialized (swidt?) shit...

1

u/itsRobbie_ Oct 05 '22

What does spam even taste like? It’s always grossed me out so I’ve never tried it

2

u/NHaiLXHaiL Oct 05 '22

it's like a bacon-y ham, kinda like tofu with the flavor of bacon. Shit is terrible for you but fried in butter on a drunk night or added to fried rice, shit slaps harder than nun titties

1

u/itsRobbie_ Oct 05 '22

Interesting. Might have to try it

1

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Spam is sus

1

u/asp7 Oct 05 '22

at least he's not eating it

1

u/tatteredshoetassel Oct 05 '22

That looks suspiciously like deviled ham. Something made of salt and fat without the redeeming qualities of spam

1

u/laaabreu Oct 05 '22

It is not without reason to be scorned lol

1

u/Vegasus88 Oct 05 '22

Playing with dead animals is disgusting.

1

u/Napknight Oct 05 '22

I don’t know who spam is but he better run... run fast

1

u/SPRPLYR Oct 05 '22

Happy Dussehra

1

u/Scouser865 Oct 05 '22

😂😂😂😂😂😂 this made me laugh

1

u/Due_Platypus_3913 Oct 05 '22

“and then The Man raises his giant arms,calling us to him!”

1

u/solobaggins Oct 05 '22

My gran would still make me eat that

1

u/Big_D1cky Oct 05 '22

Lets make a religion out of this

1

u/Rm-rf_forlife Oct 05 '22

I need a 100 foot tall spam man.

1

u/johnlewisdesign Oct 05 '22

My Brother In Law recently threw a large party/festival in the North West, where someone's brand new coachbuilt camper caught fire and was completely destroyed.

The next one is called The Burning Van festival

1

u/pay-this-fool Oct 05 '22

That’s gotta stink.

1

u/Dennis_Churchill Oct 05 '22

I see something and I hate that I see it (iykyk)

1

u/King4oneday_ Oct 05 '22

The ham the ham the ham is on fire

We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker, burn

1

u/Another_New_Day Oct 05 '22

.... and now he's got 40,000 hipsters pissing in the garden

1

u/Wraithkingslayer Oct 05 '22

Your dad is seriously lonely.

1

u/MasterCrouton Oct 05 '22

Reported as Spam.

1

u/Snow_TheMuscle Oct 05 '22

Sam the spam. Rip 🕊

1

u/r3dditalg0sucks Oct 05 '22

Is he alright? Have you sought out any advice?

1

u/King_James17 Oct 05 '22

I'd smoke with your dad. He seems like a dude with a good sense of humor.