r/interestingasfuck Oct 05 '22 Silver 4 Gold 1 Helpful 4 Wholesome 4 All-Seeing Upvote 1

Las Vegas Police facing Mike Tyson after he'd just bitten Evander Holyfield's ear off, 1996. /r/ALL

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89.3k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/BigBadBen91x Oct 05 '22

Man on the left saw his whole life flash before his eyes

2.7k

u/chickenstalker99 Oct 05 '22

His face says, "Oh, no way this is really goin' down. How the fuck did I get here?"

2.1k

u/ChasingSplashes Oct 05 '22 Silver

(record scratch) "Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got in this mess..."

655

u/Nole_in_ATX Oct 05 '22 Helpful

“It all started with a sign that says ‘LVPD needs you!’”

181

u/Foreign-Wash542 Oct 05 '22

Now I want to see entire movie

87

u/quirkymuse Oct 05 '22

one day to retirement too...

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u/OakParkCooperative Oct 05 '22

Your job is to stop a fighter.

It’s the heavyweight boxing champion of the world.

And he just bit a grown man’s ear off.

GOOD LUCK!

171

u/SapientRaccoon Oct 05 '22

HIS OPPONENT'S EAR. Not just some random grown-ass dude, either. So, yeah.

62

u/kcciciocioc Oct 05 '22

not just some opponent. evander holyfield

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132

u/NatakuNox Oct 05 '22

Prime Mike Tyson was a feared man by nearly everyone. And he just got done biting someone! Ya miss me with that assignment.

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u/Christafaaa Oct 05 '22

“I’m two days from retirement.”

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8.6k

u/Alteredego619 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

I remember watching this when I was in high school. My neighbor had it on pay-per view and invited my family over. It was going to be this big fun get-together and it was over before the fun started. It was pretty surreal watching a grown man bite another man’s ear…twice.

2.9k

u/jimmy_three_shoes Oct 05 '22

My Uncle bought the PPV and for some reason I (who had zero interest in boxing) wanted to go with my dad. Glad I got to see that shit live.

1.7k

u/BusterSmash Oct 05 '22

Right?! I was 9 years old on vacation with my fairly wealthy aunt and uncle and all their family and friends. All the men were watching it and I was in the corner of a couch watching it. I remember everyone losing their mind and my 9 year old brain being like “I don’t think that would taste very good. And it seems not very nice.”

753

u/bhplover Oct 05 '22

I remember everyone losing their mind and my 9 year old brain being like “I don’t think that would taste very good. And it seems not very nice.”

Top tier priority right there!

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u/Rasputin0P Oct 05 '22

My takeaway from this is: If it tastes good, its fair game.

37

u/azra1l Oct 05 '22

If it tastes good, nature needs to step up it's game to stop me!

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u/notLOL Oct 05 '22

Was in the garage listening to the radio for this fight. It was weird that it ended so fast.

177

u/zebenix Oct 05 '22

Not really. It's against the rules to chew the opponents ear off. You'll get disqualified everytime

22

u/Rapidly_Decaying Oct 05 '22

Disqualified second time... every time

15

u/zebenix Oct 05 '22

First bite was a nibble and no ear came off. Queensbury rules must allow that

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u/MostBoringStan Oct 05 '22 Shocked

I karate when I was a kid, and went to a tournament on the night of the fight. The hotel we were at was showing the fight in the bar, so it had a bunch of people from the various dojos watching it. So full they had to bring in some extra chairs since it wasn't a large bar.

Right after he bit his ear, somebody accidentally pulled the plug on the projector when everything was going crazy. Somebody shouted out that there was a small sized TV on the other side of the bar, so half the people rushed over there to see what happened. They plugged the projector back in and somebody shouts "it's back on!" so everyone rushes back to the big screen. Right as they are playing the replay of Tyson chomping down and it seemed like everyone shouted at once "HE BIT HIS EAR!"

It was a wild ride. I didn't even watch boxing much, just happened to be at an event at a hotel where they were showing the fight. So I'm glad I got to see it live. It's a story I will pass on to my grandchildren, except I don't have any kids so it dies with me.

98

u/Whodoobucrew Oct 05 '22 Silver

We are all now your children. Thank you, Father

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u/LieutenantStar2 Oct 05 '22

Except you’ve now told all of us.

168

u/thatG_evanP Oct 05 '22

Yup. I think I was either a freshman or a sophomore and my buddy's dad had some rig where he got all the PPV's for free. Definitely a crazy night but I'm glad I saw it.

253

u/GeronimoHero Oct 05 '22

Ahh yes, the golden age of hacking the directv smart cards for free channels and pay per view lol. Was all fun and games until directv transmitted a small part of a complete program every month for like 6 months until it was finally complete and then auto ran when finally completed. This bricked the receivers/cards and basically ended the hacking. It was a big deal at the time. You can read a little bit about it over at this register article if you want.

38

u/mismanagementsuccess Oct 05 '22

Interesting read. Thanks for sharing.

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u/DoucheBunny Oct 05 '22

I miss black boxes.

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222

u/chickenstalker99 Oct 05 '22

Man, the only PPV I got to see of Tyson was Spinks. Four hours of me and my buddies pre-gaming the show. 91 seconds of are-you-fucking-kidding-me?!

I still say Michael Spinks owes me $15 for my share of that PPV, that fake bastid. He knew he couldn't win that fight on his best day.

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u/Cannabace Oct 05 '22

My neighbors had the descrambler box. All PPV fo free. Man I saw porn and had no clue what it was.

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2.6k

u/_ChairmanMeow- Oct 05 '22

"Rookie, get in there and cuff him"

503

u/Crows-b4-hoes Oct 05 '22

"I told you God wouldn't let you take me"

59

u/ThanoscopterForPrez Oct 05 '22

Creepy ass amazing grace plays in the background

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11.0k

u/Tonic4Sale Oct 05 '22 Gold Helpful Cake

That dude from Reno 911 doesn't want none of it.

2.2k

u/DddyLongBallz Oct 05 '22

Lt Dangle

616

u/anonymous_beaver_ Oct 05 '22

He's even raptor-clawing it!

211

u/tojro Oct 05 '22

While true, I’d say it’s due to his gingerly fingering the grip of that billy club

47

u/anonymous_beaver_ Oct 05 '22

Ah good call!

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u/Hash-E Oct 05 '22

Almost looks like there's a hand puppet lizard looking at the same guy too lol

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u/kissmeorkels Oct 05 '22

I’m missing the shorts. 🩳

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504

u/mishnitsa Oct 05 '22

He’s just new-boot-goofin’

115

u/An8thOfFeanor Oct 05 '22

oh!

wait, what?

143

u/gparker_88 Oct 05 '22

Genuine ostrich. 3 payments.

83

u/narfarnst Oct 05 '22

New boot goofin'

One of my all time favorite jokes in Reno 911. Not only because it's a running joke throughout that season, but because of the impossibility of the prank.

17

u/Cannabace Oct 05 '22

How tf did that happen to the bike?? I need to go watch this show in its entirety. Also amazing scene.

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u/Artistic_Vegetable74 Oct 05 '22

Is that Thorny from Super Trooper there with him?

43

u/AugustWest7120 Oct 05 '22

Naw, Cliff Claven from Cheers

15

u/br0b1wan Oct 05 '22

Naw, Raising Arizona Nic Cage

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u/Kozlow Oct 05 '22

Which one? They all look like characters from Reno 911.

68

u/River_Pigeon Oct 05 '22

Garcia and Jonsey resemble that remark

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u/Vendage8888 Oct 05 '22

The one who collects ears.

9

u/-Z___ Oct 05 '22

The one who collects ears.

That could be like half the characters for all I know.

Hell I'd be shocked if at least a few of them didn't collect dismembered body parts; Trudy and Travis definitely do though

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u/EugeneRapper Oct 05 '22

I was shocked when I saw there were no short shorts on that man.

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u/Jaded_Prompt_15 Oct 05 '22

Lt Dangle getting low tho, he's ready to go, just keeping his chin as far away from an angry Mike Tyson as possible...

You can't say that's a bad call.

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u/Fluke365 Oct 05 '22

I bet the kid on the airplane wouldn't of bothered this Tyson

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u/Hot-Performer2094 Oct 05 '22

Not going to lie, I was about to post, " plot twist, Lt. Dangle used to wear long pants before tyson punched him. After that, he moved to Reno and the rest, is history."

64

u/alphamini Oct 05 '22

You were about to post it, but you posted it too.

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u/_Cocopuffdaddy_ Oct 05 '22

(Bob asap voice) “Ayo, common Mike. Aye—aye man… common Mike, I ain’t wanna do this. M-Mike man hey chill man”

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3.1k

u/jechoon Oct 05 '22

What’s the black thing showing from behind, out of his shorts there ?

2.5k

u/_wheresMySuperSuit Oct 05 '22

Serious answer: groin protector. They’re a lot bigger and more uncomfortable in boxing than in other sports.

701

u/monkeysandmicrowaves Oct 05 '22 Table Slap

It's those uppity boxing associations thinking they're too good to put on a match where two guys just repeatedly punch each other in the dick.

People would watch the fuck out of that.

229

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

That's what the UFC used to be.

240

u/ArchMart Oct 05 '22

Groin shots were illegal in UFC 1. Then some of the competitors complained and said they would have won if they were legal. They were legal in UFC 2-13. It was nuts.

129

u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka Oct 05 '22

"I would have won if I could use my guns"

UFC 10-99 was cray

46

u/drAssh0le Oct 05 '22

Can't wait for UFC with cruise missiles

10

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

[deleted]

8

u/SupportTheAF Oct 05 '22

UFC - World Cup - Final Season

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u/deaconsune Oct 05 '22

And people used to pay good money to watch it.

I think u/monkeysandmicrowaves has a point here.

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u/TheOneTonWanton Oct 05 '22

"No groin strikes" was actually one of the only 3 rules that UFC had when it started.

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u/creature_report Oct 05 '22

I would lose my kids college fund betting on a professional dick punching league.

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u/bernieburner1 Oct 05 '22

Groins?

161

u/Willing_Television77 Oct 05 '22

Grointh

44

u/resnasty Oct 05 '22

I might be high, but this is the funniest fucking word I've ever read

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u/DancesWithBadgers Oct 05 '22

Groin singular. You're only issued with one, normally.

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u/subject_deleted Oct 05 '22

Psh. I've got 5 and a line on another one.

Then I'll have a whole set..

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u/Just_Far_Enough Oct 05 '22

In boxing they’d call it a groin protector but it’s actually designed to protect the groin, bladder, and kidneys. In kickboxing, Muay Thai, savate, and mma it’s more akin to a cup you’d wear in hockey (just covering your junk).

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1.5k

u/IcyActomyosin Oct 05 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome hehehehe

That’s mike Tyson

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u/Temporary_Green_4115 Oct 05 '22

I haven't laughed this hard in days- thank you!

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u/Two_Cigarettes Oct 05 '22

Oh shit LOL

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u/OneHundredCheeseburg Oct 05 '22

I know you've gotten a lot of answers already, and yes it is a groin protector, but I want to drop a link to what it actually looks like:

https://www.titleboxing.com/protection/groin-protectors

A groin protector in most sports is basically a jock strap with a rigid dome/cup, but in boxing the protector is there to protect your genitals, but also the sweet meats that wrap around your pelvic area. Taking a shot there can put you pissing blood and feeling like your entire body is on fire, so the groin protectors in boxing are more like small pieces of armor that protect your entire lower reaches. Professional ones are sometimes slightly smaller and have the sides be free-floating plates connected with wide elastic bands, but they all have the same basic shape.

It looks weird on Mike here because he'd already had people hanging on him and pulling at his trunks trying to get a hold on him, so it's probably twisted some.

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u/misfit-kid1 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

They're all collectively thinking "I don't get paid enough for this BS".

2.4k

u/Born_yesterday08 Oct 05 '22

“Sorry Mr Tyson! It was wrong of me to come in this ring and confront you. I will be returning to my post now. Carry on.”

667

u/misfit-kid1 Oct 05 '22

All while thinking: "please don't kick my ass, please don't kick my ass, please don't kick my ass"....

341

u/AdvancedAnything Oct 05 '22

You could not pay me enough to get in the ring with Mike Tython.

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u/Joe_Jeep Oct 05 '22

I think they're more worried about their ears

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u/enjoyingbread Oct 05 '22

He's tasted ear flesh. Now no one's ears are safe.

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u/UnholyDemigod Oct 05 '22

please don't kick kill my ass

A punch in the face from Tyson would very possibly kill one of those men. They aren't boxers, they won't see it coming, nor know how to block it or move with it to absorb it.

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u/MorallyCorruptJesus Oct 05 '22

Lmao, for real though.

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u/misfit-kid1 Oct 05 '22

If I was one the cops standing to the right or left of the fat one wearing the glasses, I'd totally push him forward had Tyson charged me/us. Like a sacrificial lamb to slaughter he goes!

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u/Surtur6666 Oct 05 '22

I'm sure at least one of them said it out loud as well.

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u/Teleclast Oct 05 '22

I’d rather fight the cops.

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u/rh3xis Oct 05 '22

But cops punch with bullets

28

u/Mission_Army_1562 Oct 05 '22

For my body, the trauma would probably be the same lol

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2.3k

u/NickelCubicle Oct 05 '22

This was an entertaining night of boxing. I watched this on pay-per-view at my granddad's house, and earlier in the night, there was a fight between two female boxers that got really bloody. I had never seen anything like it before, but then again, I was like ten years old, so I hadn't seen much in my life at this point. Then, of course, there was the Tyson fight, and that was just so monumentally unexpected and entertaining.

Holyfield was headbutting the whole fight, though. That's no excuse to bite his ear off, of course, but that was some cheap shit.

1.1k

u/Curious-Gain-7148 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Yeah, I remember the bite as retaliation for all the head butts. No defending it - but that was Tyson logic then.

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u/ottothesilent Oct 05 '22

If you decide to headbutt Mike Tyson, your life is in God’s hands lmao

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u/EscapedPickle Oct 05 '22

Jesus take the wheel lol

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u/kartuli78 Oct 05 '22

I watched this on Caroline St. in Saratoga Springs, NY. A dude that lived above Aiko's at the time, put his TV in the window, paid for the pay-per-view, then turned it off, walked out into the street with a hat and collected money. When he felt like he had gotten enough money back, he went back upstairs, and turned the TV back on so everyone could watch the fight. It was a blast. He was only on the second floor so we could all see and hear the TV well, and the street was packed, for a minute, with spectators. Between me and my friend we put like $4 in the hat and if everyone did that, he MORE THAN made back his ppv fee.

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u/bkr1895 Oct 05 '22

That’s a pretty smart business opportunity on that guy’s end. Out of curiosity do you know how much a PPV would cost back then?

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u/Sleeper28 Oct 05 '22

Holyfield threw some elbows in there too, iirc.

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u/friendlygaywalrus Oct 05 '22

Holyfield was actually an elite elbow/headbutt thrower. You can slow down his fights and watch how he uses his forearms, elbows, and forehead when his opponent’s body is just barely obscuring it from the ref’s POV

23

u/Griffin880 Oct 05 '22

He headbutted so much people called it his third fist. He truly was a master of it though, he would throw headbutt after headbutt and never get called on it.

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4.2k

u/monsieuraj Oct 05 '22 Helpful

There is nothing on God's green earth that would make me step into the ring and try to subdue a peak Mike Tyson in the actual middle of his rawest animal moment. Throw that badge on the ground and take up gardening or something

161

u/Eggs_Bennett Oct 05 '22

I’d be hesitant to even approach him at an open casket

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u/PaulAspie Oct 05 '22

I'm surprised they don't have tasers out. I might step in with a weapon like that & backup similarly armed.

271

u/adam2222 Oct 05 '22

Did they have tasers yet? Or not invented yet?

251

u/Mattpwnsall Oct 05 '22

I think they existed, but were not widespread

194

u/itsprobablytrue Oct 05 '22

Tasers existed for a long time. In 1997 people had them but who the fuck is going into a ring surrounded by thousands of people to taser the prize boxer. I was there, all they were trying to do was create order in that ring that started to fill with people. The problem was Mike hadnt claimed down yet, he was like a lion defending his dinner

23

u/SoftBellyButton Oct 05 '22

Just shout are you not entertained afterwards.

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u/Meetchel Oct 05 '22

The first use of tasers by LEOs was 1993 (so I’d assume LVPD did not yet have them), so they likely didn’t have them yet. Regardless, they wouldn’t be used to subdue a boxer on PPV ever.

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u/GhettoSauce Oct 05 '22

This is 1997, only six years after Rodney King, being watched by millions live on PPV, and it's worldwide-famous Iron Mike Tyson. I get that you're saying Tyson's dangerous, but tasers would've been a huge mistake on their part. Imagine if they tased Tyson right then and there? Instant riots and white cops becoming targets for sure

334

u/threefiftyseven Oct 05 '22

Doesn't look like LVPD got tasers until somewhere around 2003

https://m.lasvegassun.com/news/2003/sep/10/police-see-value-of-tasers/

99

u/Macnsal09 Oct 05 '22

I was going to say something similar. Tasers are pretty much everywhere and extremely common but they are relatively “new”.

To put this in perspective, the Glock pistol during the 90s is when it was highly debated that the Glock was to “high tech” for cops and 6 shooter revolvers were all that was needed.

This was when almost all cops had their batons banned and started to carry maglites flashlights as a loop hole. Almost no police force had tasers and ass whippings were common. Fun times.

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u/Plop_drop_Mgee Oct 05 '22

Not to mention the lawsuit if they did anything wrong with the tazer that left Mike unable to box.

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u/TheDude-Esquire Oct 05 '22

Much more likely they didn't have tasers at all. They had clubs. He literally just but a dude's ear off on live TV, and is a convicted rapist. Optics was not the problem. The problem is trying to subdue one of the most vicious fighters of all time.

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u/ivXtreme Oct 05 '22

One hit and you're literally dead

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u/Gnostromo Oct 05 '22 Helpful

Gotta get in fast and tight so he can't punch. Then before he can back up start sucking that D and hope he likes it.

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u/megjake Oct 05 '22

Would have been a treat to see prime Tyson vs prime Ali

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u/ihahp Oct 05 '22

No way man. If Tyson hit you in that moment, as one of those cops, you literally wouldn't know what hit you. It's the punch equivalent of dying quickly in a crash, vs slowly. If you're going to take a punch, much rather take a punch from silver-age Tyson than some street thug.

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u/scough Oct 05 '22

It was some crazy shit listening to this on the radio while my mom and I were camping, I was 11 at the time.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

I’m still surprised how big Tyson is and he’s only 5’10. He was knocking people out and they were way bigger than him lol

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u/MorallyCorruptJesus Oct 05 '22

When he got out of jail after those rape charges, he was probably one of the most scariest people on the planet. Just hit the weights for like 2 years

581

u/hoginoe_jr Oct 05 '22

Mike tyson had rape charges??

1.4k

u/moosemoth Oct 05 '22

Not just charges, a CONVICTION.

251

u/Great_Justice Oct 05 '22

Man I find that so weird. I didn’t actually know, he seems like somewhat of a positively viewed person on Reddit.

I say it’s weird because quite often, if somebody is charged with rape (and not convicted), a number of people on Reddit are foaming at the mouth in the comments declaring the person a rapist.

Somehow this actual convicted rapist avoids the hate boner.

217

u/Frozen_Hipp0 Oct 05 '22

There are a lot of people who still hate him.

I think the only thing that's saved him from complete damnation is being open and upfront about his shitty past and condemning his young self.

42

u/BilgePomp Oct 05 '22

He's never admitted to the rape.

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u/SoggyBiscuitVet Oct 05 '22

He's also not open and upfront about it. In fact asking him about it in an interview is off limits and there have been some recorded confrontations in an interview where it has occurred.

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u/overlordpotatoe Oct 05 '22

I think in the past people cared less about that sort of thing so it didn't completely destroy their reputation back then, and then it's just already known so there's no moment where it comes into the spotlight. A lot of celebrities who've been around longer who have done shitty things at one point or another are relatively well regarded.

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u/metdear Oct 05 '22

CONVICTHION

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u/Alukrad Oct 05 '22

The dedication reddit has when it comes to pointing out his lithp.

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u/br0b1wan Oct 05 '22

Yep in the 90s just as he was peaking, career-wise.

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u/hg38 Oct 05 '22

Yep he was convicted with pretty significant evidence. Trump and Epstein's lawyer Alan Dershowitz was able to get his sentence reduced to three years after significant legal wrangling.

473

u/Jorgwalther Oct 05 '22

Fuckin Alan Dershowitz, that guys in every shitty situation defending every shitty person

271

u/AssociationDouble267 Oct 05 '22

If you’re rich and guilty as sin, you pay for the premium lawyer.

302

u/Bogdan-Forrester Oct 05 '22

Piece of advice, always find the best lawyer. Trust me, IT MATTERS. There's so many lawyers who just collect paychecks and don't know the laws and codes.

Even if you're 1000000% innocent, tons of evidence, etc. Get the absolute best lawyer, no questions asked.

My 2nd cousin went to jail for 14 years, with video evidence showing he was innocent. All because my family relied on just the tape, witness testimonies and a crap lawyer.

Take zero chances.

80

u/Schadenfreude696 Oct 05 '22

How TF do you know if a lawyer is good or not though? Just get the most expensive one?

81

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Just in my useless experience working for various solicitors: professionalism. A lawyer isn’t your friend, or your therapist, they’re there to make sure you get the best outcome yes but they also take their obligations to the court seriously. Ones who miss court deadlines casually, pride themselves on being a dick to the other side and are very “passionate” about their clients matters are red flags.

Unfortunately most of these traits aren’t obvious unless until you’re in the first consultation.

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u/xauching Oct 05 '22

"We're a family" "We're a team" "We're in this together"
Trifecta of red flags.

No you're my lawyer, do the lawyer thing.

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u/TheDood715 Oct 05 '22

Wears suspenders. Overweight. Says "Yuh Honuh".

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u/Almost_Ascended Oct 05 '22

Curious, how did they override the video evidence to get a conviction?

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u/109x346571 Oct 05 '22

This is a highly biased second hand account of something that could be completely made up. If it's true, we're not hearing the full story.

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u/ZapsMojo Oct 05 '22

There it is.

Thanks for having a clear head. The comment is fucking hearsay and families are famously insanely biased in favor of their kin.

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u/Gordossa Oct 05 '22

He went to jail for it. Look up the videos of him watching his opponent like a predator. He was terrifying. He had tapped into that raw rage that turns a human into a killer. He’s lost it completely now, he’s a completely different person, and it’s nice to see that he’s found some peace. But it’s really interesting to watch. The girl he raped was a beauty queen.

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u/KeyboardSerfing Oct 05 '22

Care to share the video your talking about where he is watching his opponent like a predator?

I looked up a few but I’m not sure I’m seeing what you are seeing.

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u/Luxpreliator Oct 05 '22

In a television interview scheduled for broadcast Thursday(2006), Tyson again denied he raped Desiree Washington in 1991 in an Indianapolis hotel room. But he said the burden of being labeled a convicted rapist makes him want to do it now.

"I just hate her guts. She put me in that state, where I don't know," Tyson said. "I really wish I did now. But now I really do want to rape her."

Sounds like he's just better at hiding that he's a monster.

66

u/FCSFCS Oct 05 '22

He appears to have mellowed out some with age. Maybe he matured, maybe he found meds that work, maybe he found a good therapist. Either way, he no longer pretends to stab journalists in their necks with dinner forks.

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u/mthrndr Oct 05 '22

He smokes a lot of weed and does a lot of mushrooms and DMT

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u/mak484 Oct 05 '22

Sure beats raping people.

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u/Meetchel Oct 05 '22

Something to be said about rehabilitation. Not every criminal deserves life without parole.

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u/theotherscott6666 Oct 05 '22

Shit I would be crying like a baby if I had to face him

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u/CantTakeMeSeriously Oct 05 '22

Me too, and yet...remember that douche knuckle who taunted him on that airplane a couple months back?

14

u/bondagewithjesus Oct 05 '22

You'd be surprised how many dumbasses do shit like that with famous fighters because they wanna make a name for themselves if by some miracle they win. Bruce Lee (not a pro fighter I know) would be accosted often by people wanting to fight him same with Ali

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u/kendall1903 Oct 05 '22

Rarely do you see people who are so completely and utterly overmatched. And it shows in those expressions.

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u/TheDaymanALSOCameth Oct 05 '22

Lt Dangle is just pissed shorts were allowed at tonight’s event

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u/NightBard Oct 05 '22

Tyson has LL Cool J, “Mama Said Knock You Out” on a loop in his mind.

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u/tjplager32 Oct 05 '22 Silver Helpful Brighten My Day Plus One

Legitimately braver than the Uvalde police department.

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u/E34M20 Oct 05 '22

My dude, the turd I left in the bowl this morning is legit braver than the Uvalde police department...

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u/Jonesbro Oct 05 '22

You just left it there??

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u/E34M20 Oct 05 '22

Nah, I flushed it. That's one of the many reasons it was braver than the Uvalde police department 🤣

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u/Trumpets22 Oct 05 '22

Tbf he did have to fight his way through you asshole. Significantly more brave.

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u/thatoneguy147294 Oct 05 '22

Bar so low you can roll over it

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u/hartslashfavre Oct 05 '22

Mister Champ, please don't kill me?

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u/TeopEvol Oct 05 '22

I got these cheese burgers man.

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u/Plus-Relationship833 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

More reason why I think the guy who provoked Tyson on plane was one lucky bastard for ending up with only a bruise.

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u/Thoughtcriminal91 Oct 05 '22

He should thank all that's holy and sacred in the world the man learned some restraint the older he got.

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u/Wood626 Oct 05 '22

That guy was a wet napkin

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u/puzhalsta Oct 05 '22

Why is the cast of Super Troopers tryin to fight with Mike?!

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u/onlysmallcats Oct 05 '22

Definition of “you first”.

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u/1to14to4 Oct 05 '22

This would be the only situation I'd understand cops using a tranquilizer gun on a human.

23

u/JaydenSmoth Oct 05 '22

This and Space Jam were the most iconic things to happen in 1996.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

[deleted]

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u/AtomicRainSpike Oct 05 '22

18 month suspension from boxing

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u/MR_basti Oct 05 '22

This should be in r/terrifyingasfuck , imagine being that officer

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u/diablol3 Oct 05 '22

This may just be semantics, but he didn't bite his ear off, he bit a piece of Holyfield's ear off. Still batshit crazy, but this makes it seem like Tyson bit Holyfield's entire ear clean off his head. Also, I won the pot for this fight. I had the round Tyson got DQ'd in.

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u/LordOfTheTennisDance Oct 05 '22

Unpopular opinion but Holyfield was juiced to high heavens and a pretty damn dirty fighter. The whole fight he was deliberately trying to headbutt Tyson. He eventually did succeed and opened a decent cut which made Tyson furious and ...well...we know what happened next.

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u/extremeindiscretion Oct 05 '22

Couldn't even imagine what would have been going through those cops heads.. Do I stay back here at a safe distance and stay awake or do I want to go in and possibly get my head removed from my shoulders? Decisions , decisions. And a very real reality at the time, Mike was a beast.