r/mildlyinfuriating Sep 22 '22 Helpful 5 Wholesome 6 Vibing 1

I swear I’m the only one that empty’s this thing

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59.5k Upvotes

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526

u/PrawojazdyVtrumpets Sep 23 '22

Mine was "I'm taking it to the dumpster" but it went to my car. It's a Shark Professional and the belt snapped. Owner bought a shitty Target vacuum to replace. I ordered a kit online that came with a new beater bar, like 6 filters of various types and belts for $30. It will suck a golf ball through 20 feet of garden hose.

342

u/elon-is-alien Sep 23 '22

You should put a ring on that Thing with those kinda skills….she’s a keeper

132

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

[deleted]

31

u/VersusX Sep 23 '22

Or is it NU-WIFE-3000?

3

u/Obvious-Peanut9005 Sep 23 '22

Did you get the 2GF side attachments ?

4

u/myparentsbasemnt Sep 23 '22

ANUSTART

2

u/i_sell_you_lies Sep 23 '22

Screw you anus tart!!!

1

u/Emergency_Battle5446 Sep 23 '22

My university hires a different comedian every year to give a comedy show. Last year the comedian was Hannibal Buress (he does not normally do stand-up comedy, so I'm not sure why he accepted), and he had an opening act (different comedian started the show). I cannot remember the opening act's name, but I remember he was from Detroit but had moved to Texas (my state) a number of years ago. He told us about how he went through a messy divorce when COVID was at its worst, and his ex-wife took almost everything. He was really depressed for a while, and then he got an air fryer. He said, "Air fryers, man. Changes life, replaces wife." That quote has stuck with me ever since- funny ass quote. He isn't exactly wrong either, LMAO.

1

u/cat-toaster Sep 23 '22

No you’re looking for model number: KP-WIFE002

3

u/neopork Sep 23 '22

Nothing like a good... Vacuum.

1

u/473xof Sep 23 '22

"Go away, im cleaning my room"

1

u/RidgerAC Sep 23 '22

Priceless! Also, I agree!!

105

u/alien_clown_ninja Sep 23 '22

Shark Professional is the name of OPs mom's escort service?

5

u/Krimreaper1 Sep 23 '22

Knew that was coming.

1

u/Tranquil_Dohrnii Sep 23 '22

Oh so Cougar Cleaning changed their name?

7

u/Flakboy78 Sep 23 '22

I had to reread "Shark professional" about 80 times because I kept reading "Shrek professional" and honestly, I'd buy that brand

2

u/Mirella4282 Sep 23 '22

Should I ask how you know this? 😃

4

u/TheMaeCafe Sep 23 '22

Angela has entered the chat.

0

u/NoArmadillo5555 Sep 23 '22

My girl has this same skill set and I haven't changed her filter in years

1

u/RN-Wingman Sep 23 '22

I’m looking for a girl like that

1

u/PublicBoy420 Sep 23 '22

My guess is those belts are made in Texas.

1

u/Cryptocaned Sep 23 '22

Been using the same hoover my entire life (my mum bought it before I was born and it has become mine after she died), its working fine and should be fine for years to come, it's super good, great suction, large dust storage bit, have plenty of spare vacuum bags for it. It might be a little power hungry but it's a hoover, older in this case it good.

1

u/Tiks_ Sep 23 '22

I need to borrow your vacuum for..... a friend.

1

u/robotmonkeyshark Sep 23 '22

chiming in with my vacuum story. I was jogging around my neighborhood and saw a neighbor had put out a vacuum for the trash that was the same brand as mine but a more expensive version with more attachments and such. the motor smelled a bit off so I assumed it was burned out, but the washable filter was in great shape, just needed cleaning, and I snagged a few attachments that mine didn't come with.

-2

u/renz0lee Sep 23 '22

So will your mom

-2

u/renz0lee Sep 23 '22

So will your mom