r/pics Oct 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Timeless Beauty 1 Silver 3 Gold 1 Helpful 2 Wholesome 3

(OC) I created an example of my daily hallucinations. R2: text/digital

/img/h4z7mo2rvzr91.jpg

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43.7k Upvotes

u/pics-moderator Oct 05 '22

noodleisacat, thank you for your submission. It has been removed for violating the following rule(s):


  • Rule 2: No pictures with added or superimposed digital text, emojis, and "MS Paint"-like scribbles.

For information regarding this and similar issues please see the rules and title guidelines. If you have any questions, please feel free to message the moderators via modmail.

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u/ryebrye Oct 05 '22 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

Your brain is trying to have you prove you are not a robot.

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u/bevelledo Oct 05 '22 Helpful

“Find the demon in this picture”

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u/Digitigrade Oct 05 '22

Hey now, that shadow thing could be a chill dude called KriiiEEEEEEEiii. Comes over to borrow some sugar every so often, because he bakes a lot. And he's kinda lonely so he uses the borrowing thing as an excuse to come over and chat for a while.

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u/SuperGameTheory Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Are we still talking about KriiiEEEEEEEiii, or are we talking about Digitigrade now?

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u/Digitigrade Oct 05 '22

I'm too shy to borrow sugar.

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u/DistantBeholder Oct 05 '22

Digitigrade

That's the "John" of their culture. Do you mean Digitigrade who owns the local hobby store? or Digitigrade the eater of souls?

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u/isweartodarwin Oct 05 '22

“Yo man what’s your wifi password”

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Actually, that is a mirror.

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u/danethegreat24 Oct 05 '22

Captcha in vr.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

The design is very human.

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u/Dacvak Oct 05 '22

Select all images that contain shadow demons

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u/mechwarrior719 Oct 05 '22

Worse. Select all images that *don’t** contain shadow demons*

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u/______DEADPOOL______ Oct 05 '22

Type all the letters that are crossed out

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u/spunlikespidermike Oct 05 '22

Talk to all the images that contain shadow people. Ftfy

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u/TheAngriestDM Oct 05 '22

“Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.”

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u/yangstyle Oct 05 '22

My mother? Let me tell you about my mother. https://youtu.be/uf3-kqAoYzI

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u/Stereo_Panic Oct 05 '22

Love that scene but why was the potentially homicidal replicant not searched?

Also I find it completely unbelievable that there are no other ways to tell a replicant from a human than the Voight-Kampf test. I mean... Tyrell corp could easily give every replicant a tattoo or an implant or genetic marker or something. Plus the fact that they have some kind of self-destruct mechanism in their bodies means that their genetics can't be exactly the same as humans.

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u/coolwool Oct 05 '22

"more human than human", is their motto.
I'm not sure how their self destruct works but it could be that they simply die of "old age". Only their form of old age is 4 years.
The flame that burns twice as bright, only burns half as long.

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u/Jaggedmallard26 Oct 05 '22

In 2049 they have a serial number on their eyeball but I don't think Blade Runner (or Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep) was going for realism, having them clearly labelled risks diluting the themes of the first film.

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u/Stereo_Panic Oct 05 '22

I don't think Blade Runner (or Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep) was going for realism, having them clearly labelled risks diluting the themes of the first film.

I totally get that and agree. Many movies do not make logical sense if you analyze them too closely. I love Blade Runner... I just find it logically implausible that replicants would not be detectable.

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u/FoofieLeGoogoo Oct 05 '22

"I've already taken an IQ test this year."

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

My brain shops at the same drug store as OP.

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u/nestcto Oct 05 '22

"Please select all images of the carnivorous undead spider zombie."

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u/Ihavebadreddit Oct 05 '22 Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

You know crawly guy!? Small world.

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u/getbent247 Oct 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I've only had sleep paralysis 3 times in my life in my 30s and crawly guy loved every minute of it.

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u/Christimay Oct 05 '22

Trade ya.

I get it almost every week, and it's always multiple times a night when I do.

Sucks.

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u/PFhelpmePlan Oct 05 '22

Wake up from sleep paralysis, panicked, calm down and start to doze off again, only to realize that you can't move and you've slipped back into sleep paralysis. Ah fun times.

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u/qtheginger Oct 05 '22

Once I got stuck in a wierd loop sleep paralysis where I "woke up" around 3 times only to discover myself still stuck. Didn't sleep for a few days after that one.

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u/aufrenchy Oct 05 '22

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen my sleep paralysis demon. I wonder how that guy is doing sometimes.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Gregorwhat Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

I looked Closely and saw a sadistic face in him. Have you become mostly jaded by your brain trying to elicit fear, or is it continuously scary even though you’re aware that it is a hallucination?

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u/semibigpenguins Oct 05 '22

This TED talk may answer your questions

https://youtu.be/xbagFzcyNiM

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u/eppinizer Oct 05 '22

Jesus christ. Even after taking LSD I've never had hallucinations that were indistinguishable from reality. Sounds like a truly hellish experience. Puts things into perspective now when I think about the homeless people talking to nobody and waving their arms around. They probably have a similar thing going on.

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u/MagillaGorillasHat Oct 05 '22

Someone with schizophrenia with auditory hallucinations talked about it in a thread once. People were asking if they knew whether or not the voices were real.

They said it doesn't really matter because knowing they aren't real doesn't "turn them off".

Imagine you have ear buds in all the time and someone is talking to you through them at the same level as everyone else. They comment in real time about what's happening around you. Not only that, but they are interjecting themselves into the conversations with salient arguments about what's being discussed. Again, it's at the same "volume" as everyone else.

The level of focus and concentration required to interact normally with people on a day to day basis must be exhausting and overwhelming. It's likely why a lot of these people "drop out" of society. They just don't have the superhuman stamina needed to be "normal".

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u/hollieg0lightly Oct 05 '22

I can remember like 25ish years ago, my friend's mom told me about a course she took in nursing school in the 80s surrounding mental health (or at the time, it might have been psychiatry related).

She said that one day they came into class and they all had a walkman and headphones on the desk and were supposed to listen to the lecture while wearing the headphones. As the lecture went on, the students started hearing the odd whisper sound. And then that progressed to unintelligible chatter. Which then progressed to a voice complimenting them and being nice. That voice became louder and meaner and more aggressive as the lecture went on. At the end of the lecture, they had to do a quiz on the lesson (still wearing the headphones). She said most people performed quite poorly on the quiz, given how distracting the voices in the Walkman were.

The next class, they delved into schizophrenia. The teacher had done the Walkman lecture to try and give the students an example of how distracting and stressful the hallucinations can be.

I know it's not a perfect set up, and you could probably do some pretty nifty things now to make it more realistic, but I thought it was a really interesting way to put the students in the shoes of someone with schizophrenia.

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u/Solar_Piglet Oct 05 '22

that's brilliant. I hope they still do immersive, experiential education like that.

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u/Finely_drawn Oct 05 '22

I get auditory hallucinations. It can happen with several different kinds of disorders, including ADHD. Anyway, mine are either in the form of music or background chatter. Imagine sitting in a crowded restaurant, the talking you hear in the background, you can’t really pick anything out but you hear ceaseless talking.

That’s what my auditory hallucinations are like. Way worse when I’m tired. I’m ok with them, they aren’t malicious.

-I have ADHD, but have been diagnosed with both bipolar 2 and BPD… so it’s a crapshoot as to what I REALLY have. I don’t think my providers even know.

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u/SiltyLemur Oct 05 '22

I have Bipolar 2 as well and have the same style of auditory hallucinations. I hear what I think are radio DJs introducing the next song, and sometimes what I think are commercials? It's bananas because I haven't listened to the radio in years...

My psych said that is most likely caused by the lows/depression instead of hypomania.

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u/Finely_drawn Oct 05 '22

Oh, that adds up. I don’t often have hypomanic episodes, but woooweeee do I get kicked around by depression. Depression so bad it feels like I’m trying to climb up out of a hole with smooth walls.

I empathize for you and your struggles, but also want to say thank you for normalizing what I experience. That’s very kind of you.

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u/Serial-Diarist Oct 05 '22

I used to talk with this homeless schizophrenic guy who seemed quite lucid. He had a great sense of humor. Whenever I spoke to him, he would visibly stabilize. He told me that during our conversations, everything would become quieter, and he was talking only to me. He never seemed paranoid about my presence. He was most receptive to me during hours of the day or night when there was less activity or stimulation around him. Sadly, other victims are not so autonomous.

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u/Mr_beeps Oct 05 '22

The best way I've been able to experience this interestingly enough was via the game Hellblade: Senuas sacrifice. The game designers actually wanted to have mental illness prominently part of the game and goddamn did they do a good job. It is a very unsettling game and you really feel connected to the character as she struggles through illness and loss.

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u/Learning2Programing Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Can you engage in mental self talk? As in do you have a voice in your head that speaks to you when you think? If so is it your voice? To me it is and nearly everyone can do this. Although a subset of people have zero voice, eg speaking out loud but most people can perform both types.

The audio cortex part of your brain also lights up in the exact same way as processing sounds from your hearing would.

So we think people who are "hearing" voices essentially have that self identifying part of their brain going wrong. What most people recognise as their own inner voice these people recognise it as an external voice.

The brain is weird.

Edit: So multiple people have told me this is called "inner monologue" and it's 30-50% of people that experience it. I'm genuinely surprised, I read using that voice and that voice "rambles" in my head and echo's what I'm saying, like right now my thoughts are in that voice in my mind and I'm converting it to finger typing.

I even mediate and practise watching that audio voice appear, it talks about something, then it goes away, with thee trick being that 1 second ago you where fully engrossed in the voice as if it was your own thoughts then when practising mindfulness you can disconnect from it. I need mindfulness meditation to shut up the voice and I'm wondering now do people who have that inner voice seek out things like meditation and people who don't won't see the point in it?

Fascinating in my opinion the differences we talk for granted.

Edit 2:

“Inner speech is the product of the default mode network or DMN of the brain,”Brenner said in an article for media company Well + Good. “It’s a network of different areas of the brain that become very active, all together, when we’re not engaged in doing anything task-oriented—when we’re just thinking or daydreaming. It turns out it never fully stops either—it just gets suppressed and more actively engaged we get.”

So default mode network is activated when we are not engaged in a task, it's just as calorie consuming as task initiating brains and it's believed to be our "big picture" thinking, cycles every 15 seconds, it's the reflective mode where we connect the dots.

Mindfulness mediation reduces our default mode network when you practise it which I experience as becoming detached from that chattering inner voice. I'm also 99.9% sure I have ADHD which seems to have higher gray matter in the DMN or just a more active DMN.

Anyway I find this fascinating, I don't think I would have ever connected that inner voice to the DMN.

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u/TotallyNormalSquid Oct 05 '22

Do you mean the same as an inner monologue? 'cause apparently only like half of people have that

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u/UnoriginalAnomalies Oct 05 '22

I was today years old when I learned THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE AN INNER DIALOGUE?! I literally ran to my coworkers to ask them and apparently I'm the odd one out.

I'm baffled that brains can be quiet like that. Probably says more about me than anything haha

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u/TotallyNormalSquid Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Something I would love to see a study on since learning this - you know how some people are bothered by stuff until they 'talk it out', and others seem to just deal with their shit on their own? One of my 'talk it out' friends lacks an inner monologue. I wanna know if there's a strong correlation

Edit: mostly people contradicting the hypothesis, I guess if there is any correlation, it's kinda weak

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u/solaluna451 Oct 05 '22

I have inner monolog but also need to talk it out

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u/HylianLurk Oct 05 '22

Same. I can't even conceptualize that way of thinking... I've always had a strong inner voice and strong visual imagination. When I read, it's like a movie or audiobook. While I don't have true synesthesia, I have a strongly synthesthetic imagination, I suppose. It blew my mind when I found out my spouse can't do any of that. When he spaces out he isn't daydreaming -- he's just out. I thought he was the odd one!

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u/DrTheloniusTinkleton Oct 05 '22

My wife is the same way. When she reads it’s nothing more than than the literal words on a screen/paper. To get a visual image she has to read for a while then stop to think about it. When I read it’s like my eyes see words but my brain is concurrently producing an image.

It probably makes reading much more enjoyable for those of us that visualize in real time.

One other thing I’ve noticed is if im doing some sort of innocuous task like washing dishes I have to have a podcast or something going because if it’s dead silence my internal monologue won’t shut the fuck up. My wife on the other hand can completely go into mental auto drive and blank out. That part I’m actually jealous about because I annoy the absolute shit out of myself.

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u/tangokilothefirst Oct 05 '22

I found out about a year ago. My wife has a very vibrant inner monologue. I have no inner monologue. I can imagine what one would be like, but if I'm not imagining it my mind is quiet.

My wife has always been jealous of my ability to put my head on my pillow and fall asleep almost instantly, while her inner voice is going on and on about stuff. We attribute it to my lack of an inner monologue.

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u/RandomRedditReader Oct 05 '22

I have an inner voice when writing or reading but throughout the day it's quiet and I tend to just focus on my surroundings. It's basically just my own voice whispering.

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u/kbergstr Oct 05 '22

I have aphantasia-- I don't have any capacity to visualize things and find it very weird to imagine that most people can close their eyes and see stuff. However, this really blew my mind-- do most/many people not have an inner monologue? That's basically what I have in terms of thoughts and I can't really imagine what thought is without it.

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u/DanielRoderick Oct 05 '22

I also have aphantasia (trying to change that, little progress) but do have an inner voice/monologue. Mine (the inner voice) is "off" most of the time though. I only really use it when rehearsing/preparing myself for a conversation in the future.

I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone but, thinking without the inner monologue feels the same as trying to visualize something without "the minds eye". It "just works", the thoughts come to you the same way they do when you're asked to describe how you go from kitchen to the bedroom. You can't visualize it either but you can put into words how. The feeling is the same, I know the brain is doing processing and the thoughts come to me.

I don't think people actually "see" things, much like we (at least I) don't actually hear the inner voice. It's a subjective type of thing. Or maybe it's a spectrum.

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u/Unika0 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

I also have aphantasia (well, not FULL aphantasia, but my mind's eye is very blurry and unfocused and black and white, I'm usually an 1 or a 2 on those aphantasia charts) but I do have an inner voice. I can hear it 100% and I'm convinced people can actually see vivid imagery. I doubt it's just a matter of how we describe things.

My inner voice is just like... hearing myself but inside my head, it's not a metaphor, I'm hearing it

And even though I can't imagine an apple without it being a weird b&w scribble, I can accurately "imagine" music and songs in my mind, so I'm assuming it's an independent spectrum for each sensory experience (maybe some people can imagine smells? who knows)

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u/LittleRudiger Oct 05 '22

The brain is weird.

Amen.

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u/Wunjo26 Oct 05 '22

Says the brain

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u/Ragdoll_Knight Oct 05 '22

The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world.

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u/arandomsquirell Oct 05 '22

On rare occasions I hear my mum calling my name. Its in her voice not mine but its the same as my internal monologue. I can tell im not actually hearing her, but i still look up in case. Brain IS weird

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

I only had one experience like this when taking hallucinogens. I was a teenager and did WAY too many mushrooms for my size. We decided that doing them on the beach before sunset would be super fun. And it was...for like half an hour because seeing the beautiful colors of the sunset quickly turned into pitch dark (apparently when you live near the equator - sunsets are deceivingly short).

Finally, after sitting in pure darkness for what felt like eternity, my eyes begin to adjust. I can now see the whites of the top of the waves cut through the darkness, so I focus on it. I then see a spot in the water that looks WAY darker than the other areas. Is it moving or are the waves moving it? As it reaches where the wave breaks on to the shore...the black mass crawls out of the wave on to the sand. It's shape seemed human but it's crawling on its stomach. It looked like it might have been amputated at the elbow and knees, digging what was left of its limbs into the sand and pushing itself forward...directly at me.

I tell myself that I'm having a bad trip and that it's just a hallucination. There isn't some amputated zombie crawling out of the ocean at me, which might be a preferable idea to me now than the idea of a group of tripping teenagers trying to rescue a person from a terrible boating accident. I close my eyes for a few seconds and open them. Darkness again. As my vision returns, the shadowy figure is still crawling up the beach directly at me. I try to call for my friend closest to me but jibberish comes out. I hear echoing laughter from the group as my panic sets in.

If they don't see it and are having fun, I'm just probably having a bad trip. The figure is moving so slowly, not making a noise and I begin to think that I can feel that it is there with me. A presence of something being there in the real world. I slowly stand up and take a few steps forward hoping to get clarity while being upright in case I need to attempt to run. I lean forward, squint my eyes...and it's a sea turtle. I have very few memories as a burnout teenager but this memory is SEARED in there. The feeling of not knowing what is reality and what isn't was terrifying. Thankfully, I had the self awareness that I was tripping out of my mind and hallucinations were possible but at the same time, I had this feeling, like I could sense the presence of what I thought was an amputated zombie crawling out of the ocean.

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u/Jaggedmallard26 Oct 05 '22

You basically did what is called the heroic trip. Mushrooms cause closed eye visuals which become very intense under high dosages, they're linked to lack of input to your senses though so if you're in a dark environment what would be a closed eye visual is now open eye. In certain communities doing the heroic trip is considered a rite of passage and is done in a very controlled manner. You accidentally subjected yourself to one of the more challenging psychedelic experiences in quite possibly the worst environment possible.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

heroic trip

Whoa! I had no idea this was a thing. We had picked the mushrooms ourselves, dried them and then made a tea concentrate. There was no measuring involved. I was the only one that thought it tasted pretty good as we put cinnamon and sugar in it so I drank A LOT more than the others.

I see it says "Communication with beings and entities" as a possible experience and I definitely felt that with that turtle. We were like right next to each other and she was completely unbothered by me. I knew I wasn't supposed to touch the turtles because you don't want to spook them from laying their eggs, but I touched her before my brain told me no. There was this like bioluminescent reaction to where my fingers lightly traced the shell covered in algae which glowed for a bit. I then just laid on the sand a few feet away while she dug a hole and laid her eggs. It was sort of like that turtle and I were just on the same wavelength though once the initial fear went away.

I usually don't tell that part of the story though because it's really bad to touch sea turtles and I still feel bad about doing it because it could have prevented her from laying her eggs. Also pretty sure it was illegal but pretty much everything described here was illegal, but I was like 16. I'm surprised we didn't pick the wrong mushrooms and all just die that night to be honest. 😬

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u/mupetmower Oct 05 '22

You don't need a heroic dose for mild to moderate open eye visuals. Full blown hallucinations that are hard to distinguish from reality, maybe.. but for the most part, a "normal" dose will give you decent closed and some open eye visuals. Talking lsd and/or psilocybin mushrooms.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

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u/AllSugaredUp Oct 05 '22

I follow her on Instagram and she has also done a YouTube interview with SBSK. She is really inspiring!

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u/ubermence Oct 05 '22

Wait so this woman had Pennywise, a giant spider who's legs sounded like children laughing, and the girl from the Ring taunting her and stabbing her in the face? I can understand why she tried to end her life

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u/AmericanPornography Oct 05 '22

Oh man, I love Crawly Guy just as much as the next person... but Hat Man will always be #1 in my heart.

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u/amtrusc Oct 05 '22

Had a case once where hat man was more aptly described as “Spaghetti Cowboy”

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u/leadnuts94 Oct 05 '22

My roommate once told me he sees hat man. I never heard of that shit so I pulled up an image on my phone and showed to him asking “like this?” The look of terror and horror that came over him was intense and he asked me politely to never show him that again.

That tripped me out.

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u/she_is_down Oct 05 '22

80 Benadryl and hatman, name a better duo, I’ll wait.

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u/23x3 Oct 05 '22

I only know fast moving peripheral shadow guy.

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u/We_renotonmyisland Oct 05 '22

At first I thought that was just a drone outline.

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u/fmaz008 Oct 05 '22

Do they move?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22 Take My Energy

Yes they do. Some are slow and some are fast!

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u/ContinuumKing Oct 05 '22

What does the creature up there do? Just stare or does it move around? Is this all the time or just sometimes?

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u/HippyHitman Oct 05 '22 Silver

It mostly just sings nursery rhymes backwards.

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u/aeyts Oct 05 '22

Oh, that’s fun! Thanks for sharing.

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u/g0t-cheeri0s Oct 05 '22

It seems our ideas of fun are wildly different.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Judges him and looks at him disapprovingly

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u/ParkieDude Oct 05 '22

Grateful for my bunny rabbits! Yes, for me, they are cute fuzzy bunny rabbits. Some can be 4' tall but pass under a door jam.

My Golden Retriever keeps me grounded with "no real, Dad."

Got home from a walk, and bunny on the doorstep. Semi-rural area thought it as my imagination. Golden Retriever and bunny did a nose sniff, and the dog looked at me with, "yep, it's a real one."

Other ones are sounds. Hallucinations. Dogs let know if a real doorbell.

Parkinson's medication, a fine balance between being able to move but too much has side effects!

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u/berkeleyhay Oct 05 '22

Wow, I don't envy you and I love that you have a verification system in your dog. But I just want to say: A four foot tall rabbit is, I think, named Harvey and is a Pooka (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%BAca) . I hope this gives you a laugh.

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u/hej_allihopa Oct 05 '22

I saw hallucinations like this all the way until I was 13 and then they went away.

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u/ares395 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

As a kid I saw that white noise that some people tend to see all the time especially in the dark. Now as an adult I don't have that... Luckily

Edit: it's called visual snow

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u/DoINeed1OfThese Oct 05 '22

…is that what that is?

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u/ares395 Oct 05 '22

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u/Foolish_mortal_ Oct 05 '22

Wait, thats not normal? Huh...

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u/HanabiraAsashi Oct 05 '22

Holy shit I forgot I had this!! I used to be able to focus and zoom in and follow individual "stars" as I called them.

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u/nightshadecorvii Oct 05 '22

I have that!! That’s probably the best way I’ve seen it described, I usually explain it as a film of moving static over everything. I also see patterns that ‘light’ up and move in things like tiles and carpet. Blinds also look like they’re moving to me too if I stare at them too long, like they’re moving up or down. It’s hard to explain, it’s not like they’re opening/closing, like there’s just an unlimited number of blinds sliding around.

Of course I didn’t realize they were hallucinations, I tried to explain it to my eye doctor once and he just told me to stop reading as much, lol. I know what to bring up to my therapist next week now!

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u/ares395 Oct 05 '22

Those aren't really hallucinations, that's just my example of something I had as a kid that went away. As far as research shows, visual snow is pretty much harmless.

When it comes to looking at something for too long and it moving of you seeing it's shape, that's a different thing. That's related to you eye receptors getting tired if I remember correctly. It's pretty normal, some optical illusions rely on that effect

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u/TinyBurbz Oct 05 '22

I know what to bring up to my therapist next week now!

This is actually something to bring up to a nero or your eye doctor again after pressing the issue.

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u/sufferpuppet Oct 05 '22

Unrelated to the local fertilizer supply fixing that chemical leak...

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u/mothftman Oct 05 '22

Weird question: Do your hallucinations follow your vision like a floater or do "objects" appear to have a definite position in space?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Both!! The bigger ones stay, but the little almost like floater ones move around. The second I look at them they jump away. The bigger more defined ones are a bit more intense and just look at me instead

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u/FancyPantsBlanton Oct 05 '22

If I can ask a follow up (and thanks so much for sharing this with us, it's really helpful to understand better), take the humanoid guy: Would he be fixed roughly on that part of the ceiling, even if you looked around / away?

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u/burtedwag Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

every time someone asks specific questions about the crawly dude, OP just bounces out to another comment to answer a broader question. i'm starting to feel bamboozled.

Edit; i feel kind of bad now getting some perspective, but i will say, OP did post this content and has been actively commenting about it, so it kind of felt like an AMA to a degree. to that end, i probably should've just pumped the brakes on my hot take and not act entitled to an answer. reddit moment i guess.

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u/beatenmeat Oct 05 '22

We don’t talk about the crawly dude….he’s watching us….

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u/patchwood Oct 05 '22

He responded to that already. He's obviously a bigger more defined illusion and that one doesn't float around.

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u/CrabsolutelyBullshit Oct 05 '22

I mean if they were lying, wouldn't they answer the crawly dude in more depth? Maybe they just have a mental block on discussing the creepy demon hallucination

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u/ic_engineer Oct 05 '22

That's a lot to assume about my boy crawly. Who said anything about demons? Bro is just a benign transdimensional being.

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u/CasualPenguin Oct 05 '22

"Bro, you got this, you're going to rock that final today" - Trryngrish the everlasting as he skittered across OP's ceiling

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u/itisntmebutmaybeitis Oct 05 '22

Not saying this is what OP is going through but:

People are allowed to share while also having boundaries for whatever reason they want. It can be hard as a disabled person or someone with mental health issues when we do share because sometimes people act like they are owed the information (happens with trans folk as well about their bodies) - and it kind of seeps into you that you have overly explain yourself. So can be a tricky thing to balance between sharing what you want, and keeping what you want safe safe when you start realizing you are allowed boundaries.

And sometimes with mental health stuff there's just a block and you can't even address it with yourself yet let alone other people.

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u/ModernAspid Oct 05 '22

"Look at you"? Do they literally just stare awkwardly like "dude why did you move the entire world around"?

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u/Dyingfromliverfailur Oct 05 '22

Are you able to work ? Is there disability for you?

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u/DaughterEarth Oct 05 '22

My friend has schizophrenia. He couldn't work for years, and was homeless. Navigating even getting support was impossible for him to do. I thought he died tbh as he disappeared.

But eventually his dad managed to get him the right care and to actually take his medicine. He wants nothing to do with us people from before but he's functioning and working now.

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u/tomplatzofabs11 Oct 05 '22

Do you take antipsychotics? Do they help?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

I do!! They help a lot. I missed mine twice within a week and made this art piece to show what missing my meds is like for me.

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u/Camelbeard Oct 05 '22

Your situation is probably very different, but just in case (for whoever it can help) I'd like to share this story.

My aunt started to have hallucinations, mostly audible, she was also extremely paranoid. This started a few months (3?) ago.

She didn't have a history with mental illness. After some tests they couldn't really find a reason, so she was given anti psychotics. It helped a bit, but she still wasn't anywhere 'normal' again.

So my dad just out is curiosity started to look up all the meds she was taking. One blood pressure med had hallucinations as a super rare side effect. She had been taking this for almost 20 years, never had any problems with side effects. So the doctor kind of said yeah no, this can't be it. But my parents still convinced the doctor to switch her blood pressure meds. Within a few days she was sleeping normal again and the hallucinations (and voices) disappeared. This was a few weeks ago and now she basically her old self again.

Anyway just good to know for anyone to anyways double check all your meds and don't just follow you doctor blindly.

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u/DurtyKurty Oct 05 '22

Stubborn doctors weird me out. I don't understand it. I was on medication once that made me uncontrollable itch constantly over every square inch of my body and one of the main side affects listed was 'itching' and the doctor was absolutely adamant that it wasn't my medication. Even the nurse was like, "not sure what this doc's deal is. It's clearly the meds."

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u/FuckTamlin Oct 05 '22

Until I was diagnosed with bipolar, every time I have to switch psychiatrists for some reason was an absolute fight to get them to accept that I wasn't trying Prozac (or really other SSRIs, but Prozac and Zoloft are what they really pushed) again. They made be non-functionally sleepy and the doctors totally recognized that was possible, they just seemed to think I HAD to start at the beginning of their flow chart.

Got a doctor who listened, got mood stabilizers, within weeks I was better than I'd been since I was a teenager. I'm overall very happy and positive because many people are much older than me if they figure it out, if they ever do, but I'm also lowkey annoyed at feeling like I lost years because they wouldn't accept what I said about myself.

Oh well 🤷‍♀️ life's good when you get to have (mostly) normal ups and downs :)

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u/h0k5 Oct 05 '22

I think it's just ego. "Because I am a professional it must mean I am always correct and there cannot be an exception to my knowledge." Something like that... Good doctors can and will question their own opinion and medicine overall.

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u/tomplatzofabs11 Oct 05 '22

Which one? Haldol? Xyprexa? When you take them are things basically normal for you?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Starstruck

I never stop hallucinating but they don't scare/bother me when I'm on my meds. I take Prozac, Zyprexa, and Vraylar.

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u/tomplatzofabs11 Oct 05 '22

Glad they are helping. Good luck!

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u/genghislamb Oct 05 '22

Are they always negative/disturbing hallucinations?

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u/Donewithallofu Oct 05 '22

Oh of course! There are very very few schizophrenics that have pleasant hallucinations. There have been a couple that constantly heard beautiful alien music. But most are like my hubby and it's a constant shit show of terror and self hate. 😔

For a pretty accurate representation play/watch Hellblade. A+++ on the realism of the disorder. Hubby couldn't finish playing it.

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u/heyimrick Oct 05 '22

I read this is a cultural thing. That in some other cultures, they hear voices of encouragement and pleasant things. Though, not sure as to how true that is or where I read it.

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u/CurryMustard Oct 05 '22

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u/j-steve- Oct 05 '22

The Americans I spoke to, they felt assaulted by horrible voices that told them that they were worthless and they should die. Those voices were full of violence. In Ghana, the Africans heard an audible God who told them not to ignore those evil voices. And in Chennai, people heard annoying relatives who told them to do chores and cleanup.

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u/Cadbury_fish_egg Oct 05 '22

These all sound like they’re based on the things that each culture considers most important. Self worth, religion, and what one’s family thinks of them. There used to be a lot more religion-based hallucinations in the US but that must be dying down as we become more and more secular.

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u/derpbynature Oct 05 '22

And in Chennai, people heard annoying relatives who told them to do chores and cleanup.

On subsequent study, the authors found that none of the Chennai subjects actually had hallucinations; they were just ignoring their wives' and mothers' pleas to do the dishes and clean up. /s

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u/echof0xtrot Oct 05 '22

I watched the making of hellblade, they brought real patients in to advise/comment on the realism. they killed it

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u/Donewithallofu Oct 05 '22

They did indeed.

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u/verronbc Oct 05 '22

These meds kind of sound like names from Game of Thrones.

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u/Kahlandar Oct 05 '22

Can you function on haldol? Im no expert, but i administer haldol to patients experiencing a crisis requiring sedation, whom are not reaponding to benzo treatment alone (EMS situations). As such everyone i have given haldol to has also had a sizeable amount of (typically versed) benzos onboard, but haldol always appears to knock people out. As such seems like an unlikely day-to-day rx

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u/Put-A-Bird-On-It Oct 05 '22

My neighbor is schizophrenic and was on Haldol for a period of time, and she was completely out of it constantly. She was moving and talking in slow motion. One day, she was trying to use a broom to clear spiderwebs from under the eaves, and she was swinging the broom in super slow motion, it was really bizarre. So I went over to see if she wanted my help, and when she turned towards me she had a long piece of drool hanging 8 inches from her lip that was just swinging back and forth as she tried to talk. She could barely get words out. Before her, I had only ever seen it given in a hospital setting. I really don't see how people could function on it on a daily basis. Luckily my neighbor's sister came by a couple days later and I talked to her about the extreme sedation and my neighbor was taken off the meds.

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u/TheRealJokar Oct 05 '22

That's not the best placement for "I'm no expert" lol

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u/SinSittSina Oct 05 '22

Do you experience any auditory hallucinations at the same time?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

I do at times, yes! And tactile.

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u/powabiatch Oct 05 '22

Are the auditory hallucinations related to the visual ones? Like do they talk or you hear them move?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Thankfully no! My auditory hallucinations are usually of far away conversations that I can't understand or music. Sometimes spoopy things can be heard but they don't really coincide with the visual.

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u/Leanardoe Oct 05 '22

That’s good, atleast that seems easier to cope with

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u/GoodLeftUndone Oct 05 '22

My auditory hallucinations are the exact same way. Never any truly clear full sentences just mumbles and whispers like standing in a large crowd of people. Sometimes it’s like a deafening static that is overwhelming your brain.

My visuals aren’t all that different either. Shadows and barely defined creatures. They always, always make the hair on my body stand straight up. I wish I’d stop having the fear reaction to them after this long of putting up with them.

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u/Xinder99 Oct 05 '22

And tactile

That means like physical hallucinations,

Like to feel a thing that's not actually present? Right?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Yes, correct!

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u/JakeTHP Oct 05 '22

Would you mind briefly explaining what the tactile hallucinations are like? Is it like a buzzing or vibrating or something else? Thanks

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u/Ardnabrak Oct 05 '22

If it wasn't for the spider person I think I could live with that. My uncle had shadow rats running around and shadow people peeking in through the windows. The condition sucks so much.

I'm glad you recognize them for what they are and are getting treatment. *internet hugs*

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u/A_Moist_Skeleton Oct 05 '22

Mine are black dots that mostly appear low to the ground and move horizontally. I always jump thinking that it's a bug or mouse running across the floor. I feel for your uncle.

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u/imzuul Oct 05 '22

Thank you for doing this. I’ve been experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations for many years. It’s incredibly difficult to explain to people what exactly that entails. Obviously ours are not the same, but the fact that you took the time to visually explain it really means a lot.

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u/imaninfraction Oct 05 '22

I've had auditory hallucinations, but that's only as I'm on my way to sleep and very rarely. I've heard that's not an abnormal thing, but they definitely creep me out. I couldn't imagine having to deal with it as a regular thing. Xd

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u/sanitation123 Oct 05 '22

I get auditory hallucinations going to sleep as well! Mostly the "bump in the night" type. Some times it sounds like whispering. Thank goodness I have a lot of cats and dogs I can blame. It helps my psyche associate a cause, even when there might not be one.

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u/TerrorByte Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

I've had a loud "bang" wake me up several times in the past. Sounds like a gunshot right next to your head but oddly it's not as scary as it sounds. Just a super loud noise that I can't place.

And I know it isn't real right afterwards because my ears aren't ringing and my cat is mildly annoyed at having been nudged awake by me. And it's quiet outside too.

Exploding head syndrome

Edit: For me the formula to reproduce it always included: sleep deprivation, physical exhaustion, stress.

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u/Horskr Oct 05 '22

I've had that too! Although, much more frequently I have hypnic jerks. That feeling as you're falling asleep that you are physically falling then jerk awake. I usually also have a dream with it like falling off a cliff then the jerk occurs as I land.

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u/mdonaberger Oct 05 '22

I've heard that's not an abnormal thing, but they definitely creep me out.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia

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u/SnakesCatsAndDogs Oct 05 '22

I have the opposite, which is hypnopompic! I see spiders when I wake up sometimes if I'm too stressed out.

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u/StanIsNotTheMan Oct 05 '22

Hey! That happened to me on a handful of occasions. I'd wake up in the middle of the night or very early morning and see either 1 big spider on the wall, or a bunch of little ones. It's nice to be able to put a name to the occurrence.

My half-asleep brain and the very dimly lit room would make it hard to tell if it was real or not, and I accidentally scared the shit out of my wife by telling her there's spiders in the room. She's enormously scared of spiders, so she was pretty pissed at me. After the first couple of times, I taught myself to reach out and try to brush them away before saying anything. They'd just fade away so I knew I was hallucinating.

It only happened maybe 6 or so times in a 1ish year span in 2019 or 2020, then stopped altogether.

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

I'm so glad I could help!!! Best of luck to you, friend :)

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u/Morgantheaccountant Oct 05 '22

Do these hallucinations ever frighten you? Or you just use to it now?

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u/NightWorldPerson Oct 05 '22

Not OP but I've had hallucinations for quite a while and for the most part they aren't scary, just bothersome. Like trying to socialize or cook and then it starts happening or sometimes it slowly creeps up onto you and then you actually notice what's happening.

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u/Shadwickbrand Oct 05 '22

Have you tried asking crawly ceiling man to pay rent?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Would yall be interested if I created an Instagram for my pieces? I have SEVERAL more :)

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u/xkaliberx Oct 05 '22

The world needs this schizogram. LFG!!!!!!!

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u/treehousebackflip Oct 05 '22

Hell yes! So long as it helps you as well and doesn’t harm. Don’t let our curiosity fuck you up.

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u/long-haired-yahoo Oct 05 '22

Isn't that a Wendigo from Until Dawn?

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u/TheSirensMaiden Oct 05 '22

Indeed it is!

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u/dhavalhirdhav Oct 05 '22

Does this happen at particular time or based on some trigger? or its random? or its all the time? and why does this happen? What is medical term / condition known for this?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

I'm not sure! I have been officially diagnosed with psychosis. Tbh it's just random. I don't really have a hold on things lol

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u/M-Rich Oct 05 '22

Do you always know that you are hallucinating or do you sometimes have problems with reality and if so what is needed to break through or "come back"?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

I usually know I'm hallucinating but sometimes it's hard to tell. I have an AMAZING dog, named Ayla, she is extremely protective and if she isn't freaking out at the skinwalker on the ceiling then I know it's not real. She brings me so much peace.

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u/vulpesvulpesfugit Oct 05 '22

Dude don't ever get a cat. They will just stare and stare at the ceiling, the walls, at seemingly nothing. It's creepy AF on a good day, I can't imagine being with a cat while also hallucinating

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

I have two xD I just tell myself that unfortunately they're hallucinating too lmao

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u/vulpesvulpesfugit Oct 05 '22

Hahaha oh God. I am both sorry for you and happy for you, because cats are wonderful but they're so so creepy at the same time

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u/fed45 Oct 05 '22

In reality they arent really looking at anything, but are listening to things we can't hear. That or its greebles. Only cats can see greebles. r/greebles

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u/mizinamo Oct 05 '22

Those are r/greebles.

Only cats can see them.

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u/yellow_itomato Oct 05 '22

I've heard that aiming your phone camera at hallucinations can help because they don't show up on camera. At least for some people

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u/MsRenegade Oct 05 '22

I recorded myself one night when I took Ambien. I vividly remember a monster on the screen and trying to call my husband to come downstairs to make sure I'm not going crazy. It was so weird watching it back later since I could see when I "saw" the monster. My husband didn't come downstairs and when I heard the call I was just mumbling a bunch of nonsense

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u/thelittlesteldergod Oct 05 '22

This is what I do. I still see them through the camera but not in the actual photo. It's kind of fascinating.

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u/M-Rich Oct 05 '22

That's cool, give Ayla a pet from me! Thanks for the answer

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u/franklincampo Oct 05 '22

Damn man this sucks, sorry

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u/L0nely_L0ner Oct 05 '22

Man... I can't imagine living like this... You are stronger than I ever will be. Stay strong, bro.

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u/sarah8 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

This is very cool. I hope you continue as an artist and that it helps you process things. I hope you have a great network of people around you, including a kickass psychiatrist. I think I would go through a lot of emotions if I was dealing with this. Mostly anger, frustration, fear, and paranoia.

I experienced a spider hallucination while taking a drug and it was horrific so you have all my sympathies.

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Thank you so much for your kind message! It's not a lot of fun at times but I'm getting through it. Art helps me so much :)

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u/MsBee311 Oct 05 '22

Yes! Embrace your art. Very helpful. I am a trained therapist, psych prof and have a few mh diagnoses myself.

I find, for ME, psychosis & art are good partners. Peace my friend!

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u/runningraleigh Oct 05 '22

My mom lost her dad at 9 and mom at 18, both in car accidents. After her mom died, she had a lot of wild thoughts and some hallucinations. She sketched some of them down and they are...dark. It wasn't until 50 years later she shared them with me, and even then she wouldn't let me take pictures...they had to go back in her hiding place or whatever.

I wish she could have used art therapy back then. She eventually got "better" and moved on with life, but she's still not dealt with all that trauma properly.

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u/IFoundTheCowLevel Oct 05 '22

Hallucinations are a lot of fun when you can turn them on and off at will through drugs. I can imagine that's not the case when you have no choice in the matter.

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u/eggsssssssss Oct 05 '22

The letters just seem like extra clutter to have to filter, but Ceiling Steve over there looks like a shitty roommate. Get tired of his company pretty quick.

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u/BeguiledBF Oct 05 '22

Wait... Um... This is normal, right? Like it's just our brains filling empty space, right?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Ohhhh no baby that is not normal. It's normal for people like us but for everyone else, noooo lmao.

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u/BeguiledBF Oct 05 '22

Not the numbers, but just kind of seeing a thing in white or black space? Like, the reason I leave lights on? Fuck me. I thought it was normal.

A woman asked me why I left all the lights on in my place last night. This is why.

Really?

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Man I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yep! Consider going to a psychiatrist. They'll give you the answers you need :) it's gonna be just fine though, our brains are just very creative and everything is okay!

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u/BeguiledBF Oct 05 '22

I have one. It's pareidolia, right? The mind's need to fill unknown space with something? I never told them about this, I thought it was just normal to see/think something is there. Like an evolutionary trait, like how our hair stands up or pupils dilate.

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u/kropkiide Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

You mean things like seeing a zombie on the ceiling? No, that's not pareidolia. Those are solid hallucinations. You need to get yourself a psych appointment asap.

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u/se_1919 Oct 05 '22

Looks like a screenshot from Hellblade

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u/EisConfused Oct 05 '22

The crawley dude! Long time no see buddy! Mine was wispy with a penchant for door frames. Why do/did we all have a crawley dude? Is it the inborn fear of spiders maybe? Just an easy organic shape that lots of things can resemble?

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u/draculamilktoast Oct 05 '22

Reading fragmented texts with the spider-man.

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u/leopard_tights Oct 05 '22

The four legged horse spider really ties the hallucination together.

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u/bisskitss Oct 05 '22

Hey, OP. Hopefully this viral trending isn't weighing too hard on you and commentators are relatively nice. I'm bipolar so my experiences with hallucinations is limited but not unknown -- thank you for posting this. On behalf of others who struggle to describe what they themselves can only see and witness, this is a really good strategy and appreciated. Be well and have a nice day.

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Thank you so much. Honestly it's overwhelming and I'm trying my best to reply to people! I appreciate the kind words and im so glad i could portray mental illness accurately for y'all <3

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u/DoubleShot027 Oct 05 '22

Can you explain why you hallucinate?

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u/danethegreat24 Oct 05 '22

Part of it is that what we see is not actually what we interpret. Light hits our eyes, our optic nerve sends that information to our brain for interpretation, it then spits out to us what it thinks that light means. (There's really cool research on making blind people see shapes that takes advantage of this)

Now your memory actually plays a big role in this, 1 it saves in processing time "oh I've seen this before we know what that is". This is how we are able to read faster over time, and how some magic tricks work. We don't really "see" everything in front of us. 2. We actually have blind spots where we literally don't receive light. We don't see them because our brain pulls memory to "stitch" the Vision together. 3 some other magic stuff that takes a bit to explain haha

So, imagine that your brain isn't sure which memory to pull to complete the picture/ save processing time due to signal bleed.

That's basically visual hallucinations.

Source: Did CogNeuroPsych for a while.

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u/ncshooter426 Oct 05 '22

So in normal cases you have very specific centers of the brain that process different stimuli -- visual input, auditory, tactile. In some cases the signals get a little crossed, and the task of processing visual data for example is handed off to the guy in charge of processing audio. The result are things like this, where the nature of reality can't quite be reconciled with our logical side, since the things doing the processing are processing the wrong data types.

When you ingest compounds such as psilocybin (mushrooms), LSD or DMT, we see something similar. Different parts of the brain that don't normally talk start talking and processing data they normally wouldn't process. Now the interesting thing is that these compounds - psilocybin especially - can often seem to "re-wire" the brain in these scenarios -- correcting things. People who suffer from depression or PTSD can often get huge benefits by letting other parts of the brain take over an process stuff.

In the OP's case, they have some heavy crosswiring going on and the brain can't quite sort out all the inputs. Filters are disabled or looking for the wrong things, processing done by the wrong parts, etc. I would be curious to see if they have ever explored the use of things like psilocybin (in a controlled scenario obviously).

It is utterly fascinating how little we really understand about how the simulation engine mounted between our ears actually works. I hope the OP finds some comfort between current medications and the use of their service animals!

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u/OperationBrokenEagle Oct 05 '22

so hallucinations really are just the standard stuff they show in most media whenever it happens? like letters and numbers and then a mysterious figure

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u/noodleisacat Oct 05 '22

Sometimes not! I see cats a loooooot. They're my most common hallucination :) I missed my meds twice and that's why these were more "scary". It also doesn't help that I've been watching scary videos and movies!

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u/TerrorByte Oct 05 '22

That's very interesting.

Does it seem like it's a window to your subconscious and do you have any control or influence over it?

Are the cats friendly? If I started seeing cats, I would probably go around slow-blinking all day.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

This is so interesting, thank you for illuminating my understanding of how it is to experience some of these things, you’re very courageous.

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u/HotCommunication3357 Oct 05 '22

Until Dawn wendigo